Alright people, let me fire up my computer, have I got a treat for you. You see, I’m finally going to get out of Sierra Land and talk to you all about a cool little game called Lure of the--
Oh brother, who’s at the door now? Maybe they’ll go away if I ignore them. Where was I?
Lure of the Temptress is a point-and-click adventure developed by Revolution Software, a British company also known for—
I guess they won’t go away. Looks like I’m going to have to go give whoever this is a piece of my mind.
Hold on a second.
*gets up to answer door*
Look here pal, I’m trying to do a review oh my God!
“Slight change of plans, buddy!”
Ah! It’s Jim Walls, former California Highway Patrol officer and legendary developer of the Police Quest series of adventure games from Sierra! What are you doing here?! Am I under arrest?!
“You will be if you don’t calm down. Now, what’s this I hear about you trying to review some other game there Alex?”
What, Lure of the Temptress? I mean, it’s the next game on the schedule, and—hey, why is your text in boldface and not mine?
“Because I speak with the full authority of THE LAW. But forget that Lore of the Temptation junk; I’ve got your next game right here.”
What’s this? Is it—oh. I see. Thanks, Jim . . .
Is this my destiny? Am I consigned to play nothing but Leisure Suit Larry, Police Quest, and Robin Hood-themed games?
*checks list on advgamer.blogspot.com*
Leisure Suit Larry in the Land of the Lounge Lizards (VGA remake)
Leisure Suit Larry 5: Passionate Patti Does A Little Undercover Work
Police Quest III: The Kindred
Conquests of the Longbow: The Legend of Robin Hood
Robin of Sherwood: The Touchstones of Rhiannon
Yeah, I guess I am.
Alright, you can’t fight city hall. Or Jim Walls. Whatever. Hey, Jim, are you going to just stand there, or do you want to come in for a cup of coffee or something?
Nope! I’m staying right here until you finish that game . . . and give it a good review. I haven’t forgotten what you said about Police Quest III . . . or me.
*Gulp* Okay, big guy. You just . . . hang out there, which is kind of creepy but hey: you’re the cop here, not me.
So Police Quest: In Pursuit of the Death Angel was one of Sierra’s flagship games that kicked off the entire Police Quest series, spawning several sequels and even an entirely different series. Trickster reviewed it way back in 2012, and liked it well enough, rating it a 52 on his PISSED scale. Its sequel, Police Quest II: The Vengeance, upped the stakes, garnering a respectable score of 57 from Tricky.
I reviewed Police Quest III and it didn’t fare so well. A score of 47 is alright, but the game had problems. Lots of them.
Tellingly, Police Quest III was the last game to feature supercop Sonny Bonds and to be designed by Mr. Walls himself. The fourth game, Open Season, turned to former L.A.P.D. police chief Daryl F. Gates to develop a game that—
“Do you really want to bring that up?”
Sorry Jim. I forgot you were there.
Anyway, in the early 90s, Sierra got it into their heads to remake several of their old adventure games using their then-state-of-the-art VGA Sierra Creative Interpreter (SCI) to give these games a Clinton-era overhaul. More colors! More music! Better graphics! And because they thought the old parser-based games were completely unplayable to the oh-so sophisticated modern gamer of the day (complete speculation), these titles now had a brand new point-and-click interface.
The first games in the Space Quest, Leisure Suit Larry, and Quest for Glory got this treatment . . . and in 1992, so did Police Quest.
I am very familiar with the original Police Quest, but have only played this remake once close to twenty years ago. So let’s see how it stacks up to the original, as well as the series’ only other point-and-click offering to date, Police Quest III.
“Don’t forget to mention that it’s so realistic, police forces actually used it as a training tool and—”
Yeah, okay Jim: That was like one article in one magazine back in 1987 that you slap on the box of every single game you put out.
Sure. Anyway, the plans for remakes of the rest of the early games in Sierra’s library was scrapped, leaving the existing VGA overhauls unique curiosities in the Sierra library.
The Police Quest remake comes with a manual in the form of the Lytton Police Gazette, the department’s informational newsletter that doubles as a copy-protection mechanism, as well as containing some hints for the game, such as an explanation of poker hands.
Yes, this game will have a driving mechanic. In the original Police Quest, you controlled a speck-sized car on a map that looked similar to the above. In Police Quest II, you just typed “Drive station” or “Drive airport,” which was awesome. And Police Quest III . . . Police Quest III had one of the worst driving interfaces in the history of Western Civilization. I can’t wait (*makes rude gesture with free hand*) to relive the driving interface in this one.
Enough backstory. On with the game! Leave your guesses for the PISSED score in the comments below, and come join me, and wish me God’s blessings, as I return to the mean-streets of Lytton to combat . . . THE DEATH ANGEL!
“This game’s going to get a 100.”
That’s . . . that’s pretty much impossible, Jim.
“. . . is it?”
Oh boy. Looks like this is gonna be a long one . . .
Admin's note: So, we know plenty of you were hoping to get your daily dose of smu... ummm, cultural enlightenment, in form of a review of Leather Goddesses of Phobos 2. It turned out that some peculiar Californian law explicitly forbids reviewing that game before reviewing its even more classic predecessor. Because the source of this information was none other than that trustworthy law enforcement officer, Jim Walls, we felt obliged to review instead the Police Quest remake. But don't worry, rumor says that the original Leather Goddesses is going to be soon reviewed as a Missed Classic on this very same blog! Stay tuned...