Friday 24 June 2022

Simon the Sorcerer - Quest for Whimsy

Written by Will Moczarski

We’re back with our clumsy protagonist in the charming fantasy world of… does it even have a name? Whatever the case, we explored the eastern half of the map last time around and this time I’ll take a scrutinous look at the southern part. First I come across a scantily dressed barbarian who is crying bitterly because he has a thorn stuck in his right foot. I pull it out for him and he is actually very thankful, handing me a whistle I can use whenever I might be in trouble – he will then return the favour. “What a nice guy”, Simon remarks, and rightly so. So far I haven’t been in trouble. I have not even run across a single puzzle. But I’m sure it will come in handy. 

Next I find a tree stump, and this jogs some serious memories. When I pass the stump it starts talking to me, pestering me for some spare wood. Turns out I can talk to the woodworm who live inside the stump. I remember that I found this very funny and clever way back when but It’s okay, I guess. The main joke is that Simon thinks that he’s talking to a tree stump while he is actually talking to the woodworm and they subsequently make fun of him because he thought he was talking to a tree stump. Ah, you had to be there, I guess. The woodworm want some wood from us so we’re left with yet another fetch quest. Simon won’t hand the ladder to the woodworm and since I don’t have any other wooden items yet we’ll just have to wait.

Thursday 9 June 2022

Return of the Phantom - Won and Final Summary

 Written by Morpheus Kitami

With the switches Will came to my rescue. I checked the first two hints, and it seems like it's the alphabet puzzle I was told to expect. So, that means I need to find a four letter word to type that might actually open the door. Daae is the right length, but I don't think I can press the same letter twice...? No. My next guess was Erik, which is a crappy password, but requires one parse what this door actually is. I don't think I would ever guess that, but my normal patience has long since been depleted.

A real man would take this spider web and use it to solve a puzzle, 5 CAPs if you get that reference

Next puzzle...a spider-web. I assume this is just a test to make sure you picked up that sword in the last room. After the fact anyway, I assumed Raoul was going to break the sword on it knowing his track record. Suddenly, in a blinding flash, the phantom jumps out and Raoul impales him with his sword. Triumph!

No, I'm screwing with you, there's just more maze. I feel like I can encapsulate this game's puzzle design exclusively with the word maze. Its a curious design choice.

Saturday 4 June 2022

Missed Classic: La Abadía del Crimen (1987) - Won! and Final Rating

Written by Mariano Falzone

Sir Sean Connery analyzing the final rating.

My days wandering (running for the most part) around the abbey are at an end. Will Guillermo and Adso solve the horrid murders? Will I keep my sanity? Will the final PISSED rating be ordained by God or the Antichrist? Let us find out…