Hector’s Journal #4: "The Emperor considers me a threat to his power. I'll show him a threat. I'll curry Cleopatra's favour and see if she can help me oust the Emperor. I'm sure I'd be at least as good an Emperor - I can eat grapes and raise taxes all day with the best of them... and I rarely argue with shrubbery..."
When last we looked in on Hector the slave owner, invader, pillager, briber and attempted assassin-hirer, he'd just been made a Consul and sent to Egypt to protect Cleopatra.
It seems Cleopatra's throne is being threatened by her brother, Ptolemy XXIV. Now, I looked up Ptolemy XXIV and couldn't find him, but Google pointed me to the Wikipedia page of Ptolemy VIII instead.
Anyway, enough history. Let's get back to the game. Cleopatra tells me that Ptolemy is sending an army to kill her. She says that if the soldiers get to her she'll commit suicide rather than be captured or killed. She asks me to protect her and offers me some of her troops to command.
I have three columns of Egyptian soldiers and one legion (does four dudes constitute a legion?) of Romans. |
Note that me and my soldiers (yellow and red) are fighting the enemy (white) to the south while a small contingent snuck into the city and are on their way to Cleopatra in the top right. |
If not for the snakes slithering around I'd suspect she was killed by a vampire! |
I think these introduction skipping comments may be my favourite parts of the game. |
If I die in battle, Cleo commits suicide without waiting for the enemy soldiers to get to her because she has no faith in the rest of our army I suppose. Or perhaps the thought of Hector's death is just too much for her to bear.
I tried keeping my army in the city protecting the path to Cleo's quarters, but some of the enemies just run past my soldiers who are busy killing their friends and I lose again.
Eventually I decided I needed to actually come up with something resembling a military tactic. I left one of my units just outside Cleo's place, using my previously ignored “GUARD” command.
After some waiting, I note that nobody's coming to get me and there's only a few scattered white dots on the map.
Both of our armies are scattered, but there's a lot more red dots than white dots, and I'm pretty sure the two white dots on the east side of the bridge are dead guys – a glitch of some sort. |
After finding the lone last enemy white dot that isn't a glitchy dead guy, I order my followers to kill him where he sits.
This seems like overkill |
Once again, my army tries to scatter even though they just killed the last enemy - you can see two Egyptian soldiers want to go west while a Roman is following his friends south. |
Having successfully protected her, Cleopatra thanks me.
Cleopatra winks seductively, but I'm more concerned at the crippling arthritis in her fingers! |
Sounds like he needs to be deposed. Perhaps my heroic efforts to save him in Chapter 2 were ill-advised. |
He's upset that the tree refused to bow to him on command. |
The herald soon announces that the Emperor will be performing as a gladiator in the arena. This should be easy. I go to the arena, and though I can't enter the contest myself, I can send my slave, Barbarus to kill the Emperor for me. Barbarus is a seasoned gladiator, so he should find this fight easy...
Well, that's not very fair. |
After night falls, I go into the palace in order to try to murder the Emperor. I find him laying alone on the floor.
This should be easy... |
If only that fourth button existed... |
I go to a play at the theatre (Et tu Brute, a story of hope for the future.)
I go the the Senate, hoping to talk the Senators into deposing the Emperor. But I don't need to, they already want the guy dead.
I tried to do it, but there was no “SMOTHER” button! |
This is seeming a little like the second chapter, except this time I want the Emperor dead instead of wanting to protect him. A nice little callback, or it could have been if it was followed through with.
I wonder if the soothsayer has any wise words for me
This is... not encouraging |
I pay the priest to pray to the gods for me and try my luck at the arena again, hoping perhaps Zeus will give the Emperor a cardiac arrest or something. That didn't work.
I follow the Emperor all day and find another place that looks like I should be able to kill him.
Damn. I really though his last comment was an invitation. |
100. That seems promising – he cost 200 last time and I thought if anything he'd charge more if the Emperor was the target. Perhaps regicide is the solution... |
Somebody tell award winners that the word 'humbled' is correctly used when you are defeated, not when you win something! |
The only gladiatorial games available are always won by the Emperor so I can't make money that way, and I can't gamble to increase my winnings. Looks like my money-making days are behind me so I restart the Chapter to where I still have just enough money to hire an assassin.
I find an assassin, and pay him. He starts to follow me and tells me to point the victim out to him and he'll kill them for me.
The Emperor is at the arena, so I take my assassin there and use him from my inventory.
Yes, let us choose Consul Hector! |
Alright! I'm about to win the game!!! |
Oh, crap. |
But nothing happens. Gaius is dead, and I still haven't got enough money to hire a second assassin.
Now, I had a few more ideas. I followed the Emperor around all day but his schedule never gave me an opportunity to kill him.
Hanging around the Senate, the Senators continued to have a discussion about deposing the Emperor and promised to meet again in secret, but I never found them meeting again after following some of them for a while. It's possible I missed a secret meeting, but it didn't seem so.
At this point I was stuck. Was I dead-ended? Is there another way to get more money? My kingdom for another way to get money in this game...
No, game industry. That's NOT what I meant... |
Laukku found a walkthrough and very helpfully gave me some hints. I quickly read through the hints, and the final hint was...
"You can kill the Emperor yourself, using the dagger you bought in level one, or you can employ an assassin to do it for you."Oh. Using the dagger I bought in level one, eh... Let's cast our mind back to our first gameplay post, written by Reiko...
On the way to the docks, I ran into a dagger merchant selling daggers for three sesterces. I decided trying to get a ride away from the city was far more worthwhile than a dagger.I had the same thought when I played through that section (actually, I didn't even see the dagger merchant as I was too keen to escape the oncoming lava.) To put the cost of the dagger in perspective...
- At that point in the game you have exactly 3 sesterces
- A dagger costs 3 sesterces
- A seat on a boat out of the city costs 3 sesterces
- There's an erupting volcano spewing lava into the city and it's fast approaching the dock
- Molten lava is historically not afraid of daggers
And, lets consider at a few other facts...
- As a Roman General, surely I have numerous daggers, swords and other items of murder at my disposal.
- Is there nobody in the city of Rome who sells daggers?
- I even have a slave who has a long sword. Am I unable to borrow my slave's sword for a quick assassination?
Session time: 2 hours 55 minutes
Total time: 11 hours 5 minutes
But, can I leave it there? Having lost the game? Again, Laukku comes to the rescue with cheats for the Amiga version of the game. MisterKerr tried to help too but while his help didn't pan out I appreciate the attempt.
So, with a new option that doesn't involve me playing through the entire game again and again until the random generator rolls my way, let's fire up the Amiga version!
Attempting to Cheat My Way Through the Amiga Version
So, we start the game, I use the cheats to give me some gold. I buy a dagger...
Say hello to the only dagger in the entirety of the Roman Empire, which would otherwise be tragically lost under molten rock and ash. |
<whimper> |
I tried to get past the error a few ways but every time the game loaded the Albion level the game crashed. I quickly gave up (if quickly means wasting multiple hours of my life) and watched the ending on youtube thanks to Al82: Retrogaming & Computing.
In the ending, having killed Gaius before killing the Emperor, Hector gets his throne and reflects on his time since the game began. It's apparently been only a few weeks since we started as a slave. That seems a bit short - I would have guessed months, even years for all those events and travel to take place, but what do I know. Anyway, after thinking fondly on his last few weeks, Hector, like all people in power, rules as an evil despot (what? why?), and one day...
Ah, a much happier ending! And I could have got it all the way back in Chapter 4, saving me a lot of trouble! |
- Steal clothes
- Threaten people with a dagger in order to recoup the money spent on a dagger (seriously!)
- Bribe lots of citizens
- Buy slaves
- Send slaves to fight to the death
- Invade a foreign country that just wants to govern themselves
- Kill the foreign people
- Pillage the foreign people's homes
- Hire an assassin to kill the innocent Consul Gaius
- Murder someone with a dagger
- Buy a female slave and force her to have sex with me
- Pimp my female slave to another citizen in order to get their vote in the election
Well, that's it for this game. I for one am glad it's over, and I can say that I have absolutely no desire to restart the game from level 1 and win it myself. I did enjoy writing about it though. So thanks for reading!
>Say hello to the only dagger in the entirety of the Roman Empire,
ReplyDelete>which would otherwise be tragically lost under molten rock and ash.
https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CommonPlaceRare
This is an especially cruel dead end, where you'd expect a basic item to be SOMEWHAT common.
Yeah. I could cope with the common rare trope if it wasn't tied into a chapter 1 dead-end that isn't a dead-end until the VERY LAST ACTION OF THE GAME!
DeleteAfter reading your list of Hector's accomplishments, I stand by my earlier remark that the game would best be named "granditer furtum sinum currus".
ReplyDeleteAwful game, but an entertaining read. Thanks.
Nice one. Makes me think that most of the things I've listed that we'd consider immoral would be perfectly acceptable in game's setting. I'd guess only 1, 2 and 9 would be frowned upon by most ancient Romans.
DeleteConsidering their usual way to power even #9 wouldn't be frowned upon, and 1 and 2 only because you had the audacity to be born poor and not a citizen.
DeleteThat said I do like the backgrounds that reflect the time and place, gives a very nice "ancient times" feel to it, you can almost imagine it being the way a play is staged.
And I agree with Michael on the better title and the entertaining read, like a gladiator in the circus we thank you for your highly amusing suffering.
> MisterKerr tried to help too but while his help didn't pan out I appreciate the attempt.
ReplyDeleteThat's what happens when I post from a work computer that randomly blocks *some* gaming sites, like the one Laukku posted his link from which I couldn't actually click on until I was on a different computer. I still think there's probably a way to cheat/hex edit your way to the end in the PC version, but at this point it's probably moot. Well, that's Rome for you!
At least you tried. If I did end up managing to cheat my way to success it would at least have been true to Hector's personality.
DeleteThank you SO MUCH, TBD, for getting through this lump of a game in my place. I think this one is a contender for worst game of the year. That dead end is simply inexcusable! I am sorry you got saddled with it.
ReplyDeleteHappy to do it. And I'll be voting it for worst for sure, unless something surprising pops up.
DeleteIf Curse of Enchantia didn't have such good graphics it'd be the worst for sure.
DeleteI really thought Curse of Enchantia would be worst game of the year by far, but finally it appears it's gonna be a tight fight!
DeleteAnd people thought that Hugo III would be the worst one, back when making guessing 1992 rankings in... 2016 holy cow it's been so long already!?
DeleteTime flies when you are having fun!
DeleteFrankly, I am amazed that you persevered so long. Let's hope you'll face no as awful game in the nearby future!
ReplyDeleteI think my obsessive compulsion to finish kicked in at some point but fortunately it left me after I couldn't get the Amiga version to work.
DeleteInterestingly, the hill behind you on the "losing" screen looks very much like the Acropolis in Athens. Some nice real estate in Attica at that time.
ReplyDeleteHa. Maybe in my shame I walked all the way to Greece with a hangdog expression on my face, kicking stones as I went and refusing to be happy that I was a slave in a burning city weeks earlier and was now a rich landowner.
DeleteFunny thing. The worst games tend to make the best reading. I often find this to be the case here and at the crpg addicts house.
ReplyDeleteYeah, bad games are fun to write as well, perhaps because you get to vent your frustration - good games are great fun too - I think it's the average games that I find least fun to write
DeleteIs it possible to win without the Dagger if you build up 200 sesterces during your last opportunity to make money (which I guess is the chapter before Egypt) - so you can hire the assassin twice?
ReplyDeleteI'm confident the answer is yes, but seeing as I had many attempts to complete Chapter 4 and only ended up succeeding with 2 sesterces to spare, I don't think it will be easy. And the only way to make money before borrowing money partway through Chapter 2 is by getting the dagger in Chapter 1 and threatening people before the lava hits.
DeleteI did briefly consider restarting from Chapter 4 anyway until I remembered that the game only lets me have a single save game, so I could either restart Chapter 6 with 102 sesterces or start the game from Chapter 1 again.
So, my guess is the only way to realistically do it is by buying the dagger anyway in order to start chapter 2 with some cash, thus avoiding the moneylender's exorbitant fees and being able to buy a slave earlier and compete in the first gladiator arena
There's one other way to make money. You can buy a loaded die in Herculaneum and gamble with it in Chapter 2. It's not a huge influx of cash (if you stop before the other gamblers figure out you're cheating), but it can provide some extra pocket change.
ReplyDeleteI beat this game as a kid, and I remember utterly despising the RTS sections. I think I'd be willing to replay the other chapters, but never again will Hector invade Britannia.
But you'd still have to get the dagger too in order to be able to get the die and still escape.
DeleteSo...
DeleteYou need the dagger to get the die
Without the dagger you are sure to die
(Yeah, I'll show myself the way out...)
This is one of the greatest games I have played as a child and still brings back memories. You who say it is aweful, well it was ground breaking when released - it was basically GTA style RPG (rob people and some innuendo style references later on). Day and night cycle. Intrigue and violence. War and beauty.
ReplyDelete