Let’s start from where we left off last post: Diermot had hid inside of a barrel, taking Ewan’s place, and was carried by a Skorl into the castle’s wine cellar. TBD helpfully pointed out that having “one’s turn in a barrel” is a rather vulgar Navy joke, and I like to imagine that Diermot did somehow participate in this rather nautical way of relieving tension.
But I digress.
It turns out that this boy is Minnow, Morkus’ son, whom Morkus sold to the Skorl for beer money.
|Yawn. Child slavery ho-hum.|
Diermot can then have Minnow tell the Skorl that there’s someone in the basement. Minnow agrees and tells Diermot to hide somewhere.
I try to hide where it looks dark, since I can’t move Diermot behind anything, and then this happens:
|It’s a visual metaphor, see? Diermot represents the player and the Skorl is the game.|
Still, inventory items usually bespeak of puzzles, even though I’m lugging around a statue, a flask of water, and a sprig of herb that thus far serve no function whatsoever. But a man can dream, can’t he?
I explore the rest of this catwalk. It continues for one more screen before leading outside, where a raised drawbridge bars Diermot’s path to the tower beyond.
|This is a rather pretty screenshot.|
- Find a way past the Skorl guard
- Find a way to lower the drawbridge
- Find Selena and use the Eye of Gethryn on her
Sounds like some actual puzzles!
To solve the first one, yes, the answer really is to just to stand on the catwalk after telling Minnow to alert the Skorl that someone’s in the basement. Once the Skorl leaves, I just walked back downstairs, through the dining hall, to the conveniently located drawbridge operating mechanism beyond.
Anyway, in the drawbridge room, there is a lever and a winch attached to the mechanism. Neither will budge, though the rusty lever will be operable once Diermot rubs that disgusting fat all over it.
Still, nothing happens. It didn’t take too long for Minnow to wander into the room. I tell him to pull the lever while Diermot operates the winch. It took a bit of timing, but we eventually lowered the drawbridge.
Upstairs, the drawbridge is down and another man-bear-pig comes at Diermot for Lure of the Temptress’ second go-round at absolutely tension-free combat.
Nah. It’s an automatic sequence that requires no player input whatsoever.
At least the animation was nice.
Now, this is like if in Quest for Glory I, you don’t have to do anything when you finally reach the enchanted Elsa posing as the brigand leader. In both the original and the VGA remake, you have to first have gathered the ingredients for the healer to have made a dispel potion (you know, a puzzle) and then make sure you use it on Elsa before she runs you through. The Lure of the Temptress approach would be you get the potion after finding one stupid thing, the game doesn’t let you advance until you do this, and then automatically finishing the final confrontation for you.
And now, the ending:
Here’s what the developers could have done:
- Created some kind of side-quest where Diermot could have won Goewin’s heart.
- Had there been an endgame sequence where Diermot had to choose the right response to Selena, or even had to dodge her magic spells or whatever, before finding the right time to use the Eye of Gethryn on her.
- Had Selena and Diermot end up falling in love in an unlikely pairing that would have at least been a little entertaining. Maybe they could have seeded references to this throughout, foreshadowing their ultimate union.
- Had the rest of Turnvale’s citizens be involved with an uprising—an uprising Diermot helped Luthern foment—while Diermot was in the castle. I mean, they’re all friends with Ultar the barbarian! Couldn’t he have caused some damage?
- The dragon in the caves could have been used to fight the Skorl, as hinted at in the game itself. Maybe this, coupled with the aforementioned uprising, could have been the distraction Diermot needed to get into the castle.
And these are ideas I literally just came up with off the top of my head with barely a second or two of thought.
But nah. Plot threads dangle like the dangly things on the bottom of a jellyfish like a great big unsatisfying mess. A great big unsatisfying mess that stings.
I do not recommend that anyone play Lure of the Temptress. We’ll see how it fares in the PISSED rating next post, but I can’t imagine it will do too well. The graphics are pretty nice, at least. Beyond that, we’ll see.
And one final thing before I go: what happened to Ratpouch?!
|Let’s see this again, because I like watching Diermot get punched.|
Session Time: 30 minutes
Total Time: 7 hours, 25 minutes of my life that I will never get back