Jake Spenser Journal Entry #7: "Ok, ok. Let me check the ghost busting manual. Magical sword belonging to a long forgotten king. Check. Six golden keys to open the chest. Check. Burning coal to shot the cannon and destroy the tower hiding said chest. Check. Magic stone to open the tunnel to hell. Check. It seems like is all ok. Time to face the evil witch and get my reward from Elvira. I hope it’s kidney pie. I love kidney pie."
Oh. My. God. This game sure can be frustrating. Even considering I had already played and watched walkthroughs. If you remember, last time I had a little problem with my dexterity score which was making fights really difficult for me. Not that my natural clumsiness was making that part easy anyway. But who doesn’t like a challenge?
|He doesn’t. He enjoys beating easy prey like me.|
Well, no sense in crying. I took the sledgehammer and the prayer I found inside the bible in the second floor and ran to the chapel. Only it was more like a walk. A painful and repeated walk. There was a purple soldier in the chapel door waiting for me. These are the most difficult soldiers and they hit like a truck and quite fast also. I tried to best him to no avail, although I took good practice fighting in the screen instead of using the commands. The trick seems to be that is the enemy’s left and right side instead of the screen’s.
And so I tried several different strategies. First I mixed a Brain Ache spell, which slows and paralyzes an enemy, but it did next to nothing. Next round I mixed a Demon’s brew spell, which the manual says is the most powerful attack spell. Two charges worked, but I didn’t want to spent such a valuable resource in this guy. Back to the drawing board I tried mixing a Knightyme Pleasure spell, the most powerful defensive spell, but I was kicked from the game after the third time I failed to give the right ingredients. But Deimar, did you have a brain fart? You DO have a manual with the ingredients, don’t you? I do, I do. But after searching the internet for a bug or something that explained this behaviour I found out that is also a matter of the number of ingredients, not only selecting the right ones (even though there is no number in the recipes in the manual). Great, no protection spell as I hadn’t found the right amount of ingredients apparently. I even tried another healing spell, Clotted Surprise, that did absolutely nothing.
Desperate, I decided to man up and take the purple guy upfront. And by upfront I mean that I used a demon’s brew charge and a crossbow bolt. I don’t know how many charges of the spell I have, but I do know I only need one more bolt.
|So… is this where the well of the souls is hidden?|
|Only the penitent man shall pass|
|He seems so happy with his little toy crown and his little toy sword...|
Back to the tower catacombs and to the guy with the stone. Lucky for me, the only enemies I found in the way were the flying skulls, because otherwise I might had been in trouble. The troll was even harder than it looked even considering I now had the right weapon. I managed to kill him in my first attempt, but he took too much life so I reloaded. This fight is special because you don’t have to defend yourself, you just have to spam the attack button until you chop the beast’s hand. I suspect my lack of dexterity was hurting me, but I killed him after receiving just one hit the second time.
|Do you want me to give you a hand? Do you catch it? Wink Wink|
The runes in the stone told about a hidden passage in the depths of the castle. The crypt he was guarding was mostly empty but for a key inside one of the sarcophagi. Not a golden key, mind you. A rusty key. I was starting to get worry because I was still missing two more keys and I only remembered where one of them was. But I had more work to do down there. I decided to drop the torturer’s bones in the empty sarcophagus and open the water one to see where it would take me.
|To the bottom of a cesspool. That’s where it took me. |
Become a ghostbuster they said. You will see the world they said.
|Beauty is such an empty thing… Just like this moat. Completely empty.|
|What’s your favourite colour? Green. NO! Re… AAAAAAAAAAAH!|
I hate the castle moat with a passion. Really. It’s fascinating. If you swim at the surface, you can cover like five or so positions in one step. So in order to explore the bottom of the moat you have to dive to the bottom and walk one position at a time. But the moat is four positions deep. And three steps width. And each movement takes some air from you, even turning. Which means that to explore it all and find the knight’s corpse you have to be going up and down all the time. I didn’t even bother to check how long it was before going back to the tunnel’s grate. And there is absolutely nothing in it besides the corpse. Very boring. But I found the corpse. And the sextus (sixth) key which was part of the handguard of the sword.
|Somehow I feel the need to search for a puppeteer...|
|That moat is deeper than the Atlantic so this doesn’t seem that big of a deal|
Back down I went to the dungeons where I had more problems with the enemies, which were green. Took the tongs, without any problem now, but no sign of the key. I re-explored the garden, the keep (taking some burning coal from the kitchen with the tongs), the gatekeeper’s office, the forge, the towers… It was in the stables. Do you remember when I said that getting the torturer’s bones and the golden key there was a bit tricky because they were behind an iron ring that didn’t register as an item anywhere? Well, guess what. There are three “iron ring used to tethering horses”s. Except the third one only says “iron ring”, and is guarding a key. And again it doesn’t register in the room inventory. At least you get it in yours when you drag it. It just seems like these two puzzles were half implemented.
Anyway, time to wrap it up. I went back to the tower with the cannon and did what any sensible person would do. Use the burning coal to ignite it and demolish half of the tower in front. The one from where the knight came. Going there reveals a hidden chamber with a mysterious chest with six keyholes. What could it be, what could it be…
|I forgot to wear the casserole and jump inside. Damn it.|
|At least the devil knows how to make a good presentation when gifting evil daggers and scrolls|
|To be honest, I’m tempted to let you keep hitting me…|
|Puzzles 101: Put the thing in the hole with the same shape|
|Amazing, I guess...|
UPPER TOWER LEVEL MAP:
|The blue squares are position in the open while the white ones are towers. By the way, the road between the SE and SW tower is only three positions. It’s funny how crazy this place is...|
DEATH BONUS ROUND (TOTAL DEATHS: 12 and a half)
|The crown cannot pass beyond the great stairs!!i|
|Emelda just sucks me dry|
Total Time: 7 hours 50 minutes