Tuesday 17 February 2015

Game 49: Elvira - Won

By Deimar

Jake Spenser Journal Entry #7: "Ok, ok. Let me check the ghost busting manual. Magical sword belonging to a long forgotten king. Check. Six golden keys to open the chest. Check. Burning coal to shot the cannon and destroy the tower hiding said chest. Check. Magic stone to open the tunnel to hell. Check. It seems like is all ok. Time to face the evil witch and get my reward from Elvira. I hope it’s kidney pie. I love kidney pie."

Oh. My. God. This game sure can be frustrating. Even considering I had already played and watched walkthroughs. If you remember, last time I had a little problem with my dexterity score which was making fights really difficult for me. Not that my natural clumsiness was making that part easy anyway. But who doesn’t like a challenge?

He doesn’t. He enjoys beating easy prey like me.

The thing is, I was unable to mix the only spell I thought could help me. And I didn’t have any clue where to get the clover I was missing. Maybe the garden but I hadn’t seen anything there in my last visit. In any case, I needed healing so I mixed a Wooden Heart, the same spell I was given by Elvira at the beginning of the game. I spent all three charges and got back to almost 100 life and 44 strength. And just 27 dexterity…

Well, no sense in crying. I took the sledgehammer and the prayer I found inside the bible in the second floor and ran to the chapel. Only it was more like a walk. A painful and repeated walk. There was a purple soldier in the chapel door waiting for me. These are the most difficult soldiers and they hit like a truck and quite fast also. I tried to best him to no avail, although I took good practice fighting in the screen instead of using the commands. The trick seems to be that is the enemy’s left and right side instead of the screen’s.

And so I tried several different strategies. First I mixed a Brain Ache spell, which slows and paralyzes an enemy, but it did next to nothing. Next round I mixed a Demon’s brew spell, which the manual says is the most powerful attack spell. Two charges worked, but I didn’t want to spent such a valuable resource in this guy. Back to the drawing board I tried mixing a Knightyme Pleasure spell, the most powerful defensive spell, but I was kicked from the game after the third time I failed to give the right ingredients. But Deimar, did you have a brain fart? You DO have a manual with the ingredients, don’t you? I do, I do. But after searching the internet for a bug or something that explained this behaviour I found out that is also a matter of the number of ingredients, not only selecting the right ones (even though there is no number in the recipes in the manual). Great, no protection spell as I hadn’t found the right amount of ingredients apparently. I even tried another healing spell, Clotted Surprise, that did absolutely nothing.

Desperate, I decided to man up and take the purple guy upfront. And by upfront I mean that I used a demon’s brew charge and a crossbow bolt. I don’t know how many charges of the spell I have, but I do know I only need one more bolt.

So… is this where the well of the souls is hidden?

Once in the chapel I approached the altar where the gold chalice was. The gold chalice with an octagonal hole in the middle. Just like the shape of Elvira’s ring. Subtle, isn’t it?. The ring opened a passage under the altar which led to a chamber with a crown in the middle, and a picture at the back with a Latin phrase and the drawing of an angel giving a sword to a knight.

Only the penitent man shall pass

I remembered that a note in the gatekeeper’s office warned about removing the crown, so I let it there for the moment, concentrating my efforts onto the wall. Effort is the name I’ve used to call the sledgehammer. Sadly, it did nothing. They say the pen is stronger than the sword, so I started to pray. In the game too, by reading the one I was carrying. To be fair, the picture also showed someone praying. The wall came down revealing a death skeleton holding a sword. The skeleton seemed to be a king of shorts, but it didn’t have a crown. Hence I put the crown in his head and he allowed me to take the sword. Yes, that means I took it from his cold hands. The sword had the drawing of a hideous monster and a pentacle in the hilt. And I know exactly which hideous monster it was.

He seems so happy with his little toy crown and his little toy sword...

Back to the tower catacombs and to the guy with the stone. Lucky for me, the only enemies I found in the way were the flying skulls, because otherwise I might had been in trouble. The troll was even harder than it looked even considering I now had the right weapon. I managed to kill him in my first attempt, but he took too much life so I reloaded. This fight is special because you don’t have to defend yourself, you just have to spam the attack button until you chop the beast’s hand. I suspect my lack of dexterity was hurting me, but I killed him after receiving just one hit the second time.

Do you want me to give you a hand? Do you catch it? Wink Wink

The runes in the stone told about a hidden passage in the depths of the castle. The crypt he was guarding was mostly empty but for a key inside one of the sarcophagi. Not a golden key, mind you. A rusty key. I was starting to get worry because I was still missing two more keys and I only remembered where one of them was. But I had more work to do down there. I decided to drop the torturer’s bones in the empty sarcophagus and open the water one to see where it would take me.

To the bottom of a cesspool. That’s where it took me.
Become a ghostbuster they said. You will see the world they said.

And it took me to the castle moat after using the rusty key on a gate in the underwater tunnel. I swam a little trying to explore but found nothing. I got back to the tunnel to find a hole in the middle which took me to the bottom of the well in the north east tower. I took some moss in the walls there and used the well’s rope to climb back up.

Beauty is such an empty thing… Just like this moat. Completely empty.

I climbed up to the tower with the cannon and advance a little. There I found a guy which “looks invincible in a close fight”. It’s even stated in the manual. Well, if I’ve learned something from this game is that there is no problem a crossbow to the face can’t solve. The “knight” fell down the walls, presumably to the castle moat. Anyone else coming for another bath?

What’s your favourite colour? Green. NO! Re… AAAAAAAAAAAH!

I hate the castle moat with a passion. Really. It’s fascinating. If you swim at the surface, you can cover like five or so positions in one step. So in order to explore the bottom of the moat you have to dive to the bottom and walk one position at a time. But the moat is four positions deep. And three steps width. And each movement takes some air from you, even turning. Which means that to explore it all and find the knight’s corpse you have to be going up and down all the time. I didn’t even bother to check how long it was before going back to the tunnel’s grate. And there is absolutely nothing in it besides the corpse. Very boring. But I found the corpse. And the sextus (sixth) key which was part of the handguard of the sword.

Somehow I feel the need to search for a puppeteer...

So at this point I was at a total lost about what to do next. I started to explore the castle again, room by room to see if I could find where the missing key was. Most of the enemies were no problem, because they were still red enemies. I think the difficulty increases the more you visit a room, so new rooms were quite easy, as the rest of the castle walls. I didn’t found anything there but a wooden plank in one of the towers which allowed me to see the moat from there.

That moat is deeper than the Atlantic so this doesn’t seem that big of a deal

Back down I went to the dungeons where I had more problems with the enemies, which were green. Took the tongs, without any problem now, but no sign of the key. I re-explored the garden, the keep (taking some burning coal from the kitchen with the tongs), the gatekeeper’s office, the forge, the towers… It was in the stables. Do you remember when I said that getting the torturer’s bones and the golden key there was a bit tricky because they were behind an iron ring that didn’t register as an item anywhere? Well, guess what. There are three “iron ring used to tethering horses”s. Except the third one only says “iron ring”, and is guarding a key. And again it doesn’t register in the room inventory. At least you get it in yours when you drag it. It just seems like these two puzzles were half implemented.

Anyway, time to wrap it up. I went back to the tower with the cannon and did what any sensible person would do. Use the burning coal to ignite it and demolish half of the tower in front. The one from where the knight came. Going there reveals a hidden chamber with a mysterious chest with six keyholes. What could it be, what could it be…

I forgot to wear the casserole and jump inside. Damn it.

Inside the chest, there is a ceremonial dagger and a scroll. I was expecting a good description from both of them but that’s as good as it gets. It seems the developers were as eager to finish as I am right now. Wait for me, Emelda, I’m coming. Yes, Emelda is how the witch is called, although it seems so long ago since we last spoke about her…

At least the devil knows how to make a good presentation when gifting evil daggers and scrolls

I went down to the catacombs and fought my way to the thing I said I missed in the floor in the catacombs entry. There is a new enemy here, which seems to be a scantily clad woman who appears as a ghost and the moment we advance tries to murder us with her dagger. But like the troll, we just have to spam the attack button, which at this point is a relief. The thing I missed is a hole in the floor in the shape of a particular rock with runes which you may remember from this very own post.

To be honest, I’m tempted to let you keep hitting me…

Puzzles 101: Put the thing in the hole with the same shape

Putting the rock opens a hole in the floor which takes us to the lair of the beast. Emelda in all her glory, sitting in an underground throne ruling over the departed. The moment we arrive she stands and tries to steal our vitality. There is a pentacle in the middle of the room, which reminds me of the sword. Using it there stops Emelda's attack. Reading the scroll makes her old again, and a bit of dagger in the chest finished the job. Of course that sequence took a bit of trial and error, but in the end it’s all worth it because we get a lame animation of Elvira and a screen of text telling us congratulations. As if it were a NES game, old school forever.

Amazing, I guess...


The blue squares are position in the open while the white ones are towers. By the way, the road between the SE and SW tower is only three positions. It’s funny how crazy this place is...


The crown cannot pass beyond the great stairs!!i

Emelda just sucks me dry

Session Time: 2 hours 30 minutes
Total Time: 7 hours 50 minutes


  1. Well done! I look forward to seeing how you rate it.

    A bigger achievement is how you managed to refer to two films about the holy grail in a single post!

  2. Hurrah! Good job! Quite a few grammatical errors, but I ain't no Nazi so I'll let it slide. I'm smooth like that!


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