Wednesday 28 December 2016

Missed Classic: Geisha - The Broad Way of Pleasure

By Ilmari

Where I stopped last time

Story so far was that Eva, the fiancee of the hero, was kidnapped by men that were supposedly members of Yakusa. A new plot twist turns everything around. Mr. O who might help me, is actually the leader of Yakusa. The real villain of the story is Napadami, famous scientist, who has created gynoids, which are in principle female sexbots. Napadami had once kidnapped geisha loved by Mr. O and used her exceptional beauty to power up his machines. The geisha died of repeated orgasms, and the same fate awaits Eva, if I don’t get to Napadami’s gynoid brothel Shato, which is located on a nearby island.

I am starting to feel a bit of a headache...

 “Youthful looks”, said the manual. If he is youthful, I need not worry about my age
After telling me the plot of the game, Mr. O told me he would contact me afterwards with e-mails and then promptly disappeared. I was left beside a fabulous pool, with a woman suntanning herself.

She does look a bit pale

I could leave the scene, but since I could not return, this seemed like yet another dead end trap. There wasn’t much to try my hand on. If I touched the woman, she told me to go away. If I took the bottle of oil and held it above the woman, the icon of the bottle tipped and some oil was poured on the woman - and now if I touched the woman, she thanked me, but I still went away with empty hands. Finally, if I took the cocktail glass and held it above the woman, I’d drop the drink on her. The woman would raise her head and scream to me, but at the same time she would drop an access card (it was probably hidden in her hair). It’s great to begin a day with a puzzle that makes no sense!

After getting back to my hotel room, I read a message from Mr. O, who told me that I should take a look at Napadami’s other establishments, first of which was the Jade Temple.

Seduction ended with me throwing drinks on women. I wonder how this will go

The gimmick of Jade Temple was the use of holosuits - the guest puts on the suit and his hologram appears on the stage, where a woman will move about and the guest feels this movement through the suit. The manual told me that the woman on stage happened to be Eva, but the game itself showed no signs of this.

My aim was now to find a sequence of five movements, which when executed by my docile partner would take me to absolute pleasure (suddenly my headache became worse). The different movements were represented by numbers (there were eight in total), the order of them had to be exact and I had only a limited number of guesses available. This sounds quite familiar...

Yes, it’s Master Mind

Lucky I am not descapitated

Having save states to use, the minigame wasn’t too hard - and looking now at my screenshots, it shouldn’t have been even that hard, since the correct answer is told you, when you lose. Oh well. When I had found the right movements, I saw a brief animation of the woman twisting around my hologram and then climax occurred with maximal efficiency.

After this bit of “fun”, I was seized by Napadami’s men, who challenged me to a run of Erotic Battle.

 I will, if I can stop playing Master Mind

The Erotic Battle is a simple game of cards. You and the opponent have a set of five cards and both play one of them on the table. If only one of them is trump, the one with the trump gets a point. If neither or both is a trump, the one with the highest card gets the point.

And if you are wondering, here’s the order of the different cards, highest one being on the left

After both players have played their five cards, the one with more points wins the round. The player winning two rounds wins the whole game.

The game was surprisingly fun, and I could well imagine playing it with someone else. The most fun part are the little animations, reminiscent of the old Battle Chess in that the characters in the cards show little pieces of animation after each draw of cards. The only even remotely erotic ingredient of the game appears in these animations, which at least imply various sexual proceedings.

In one of the less sexual interactions, we see samurai slicing
sumo wrestler’s pants, making him run away bare and ashamed.

But the best part is that the opponents let me choose the trumps. With odds like these, how could I loose?

You are a trained triathlonist, so we’ll let you start half an hour earlier.”
“You are a noted grandmaster in chess, so we’ll play without our queen.”
“You are…”, oh you get the point

After having been beaten fairly and squarely (not a single restore, I tell you!), Napadami’s henchmen just let me go back to my hotel. Such decent chaps!

The next item on the list was Baths of Desire, but gaining entrance required finding geisha balls (these are apparently quite a rarity in Japan). Luckily, Mr. O could help me. He suggested that I would go and meet pearl fisher Oko, who might help me to find some black pearls, which assumedly make great geisha balls.

So far the game hasn’t done it, I hope this time it’s different

Oko suggested we should enter the submarine city of marine collector Li-Fou, who had got hold of a rare shellfish that Oko had fished. At the same time, Oko would collect me some black pearls, which apparently are an important ingredient for geisha balls. Unfortunately, Oko did not know where pearls could be found.

If this were an early adventure game, they would be found in caves

Some of you might remember from the earlier post that I had seen an ad of Li-Fou’s marine collections, which provided me information of the whereabouts of certain marine animals. Problem was that the names of the animals were in Latin. Nowadays, it’s all just one google away, but back in nineties this type of puzzle would have been extremely hard.

Manual underlines that this delicate creature swims in the nude

Time for another minigame! Diving is a typical example of an action game, which I am so not good at. The ocean view had three levels and I could move Oko from one level to another. At every level, there were dangerous fishes swimming, and if Oko hit them too many times, she was a goner - luckily I could also shoot the fishes. At the very top, Oko could take some oxygen, if her air was running out. And the lowest level contained all the pearls. Some of them were white, others black - and I needed two of the latter.

After too many attempts, I finally managed to obtain two black pearls, and Oko made them into two geisha balls. I had now gained entrance to White Willow or the Baths of Desire, where I was supposed to meet Kine, a dancer who had just returned from Shato and who might help me gain entrance.

“Kine liked to be stripped - for her it combined business
with pleasure since she gave massages with her whole body.”

Of course it wasn’t as easy as speaking with Kine, but I had to go through another minigame. This time, it was kind of an action variant of rock, paper and scissors (or sword, statue and fan). At first, I chose the object I wanted - then the cursor started running wildly through rows of swords, statues and fans, and I had to pick the correct item on time. A successful round let me take away one piece of Kine’s clothing.

I can’t believe this game has so many fans!

After being completely disrobed, Kine finally told me the bare truth. Apparently Shato was well guarded, but there was a submarine entrance I could use, but it was guarded by deadly virobots that I could neutralize with an extaser, which Kine gave me (I smell another minigame coming up).

Already? I thought there’d be more foreplay

The story in the manual breaks at this point, so this seems like a natural place for me to stop also. I’ll just quote the final passage from the manual, just to give an inkling what’s in store for me:

“By now the excitement was becoming unbearable, my blood was pulsating all through my body and I had reached the point of no return. There was no turning back, however I had to postpone the final explosion. The ecstasy was the prize………………..”

Dear, I think I have too much headache tonight...

Time used: 3 hours
Total time: 4 hours


  1. No further mention of the opening photograph scene yet, eh? I'm sure that's going to come back in the eleventh hour to inflict a severe case of venatus interruptus.

    1. Oh, it will definitely come back to haunt us. Luckily, I took the precaution of starting the game twice, and seeing something change, I knew exactly where I should take the photo. I'll leave further details to next post.