Surely this means more sex!
At the end of my Won Part 1 post, I'd just been given a map by Stacy. That map was indeed a map with directions to her apartment, and this time I had no trouble following it. On entering, I began my search for the items she’d told me about. Stacy had mentioned that everything I needed was in the kitchen, so that’s where I started my search. The only things I could find of interest were the three canisters on the counter, which contained sugar, flour and coffee. They didn’t seem to contain anything else though, so I moved onto the fridge. The first thing I noticed was that there was something on the top of the fridge, so I walked over and typed “look on fridge”. The answer I got was “You’ve left me responseless”, so I assumed it wasn’t actually something I was supposed to pick up.
I guess I should strip off and get comfortable.
In the fridge was some typical food items, but the only one I was able to interact with was the butter. There was a plastic bag in the butter dish that contained a note. This note gave me information about the catering company, more specifically that they deliver twice a day to the compound, and that two guards search the caterer prior to entry every time. This was obviously hinting at how I might gain entrance to the compound later, but was unlikely to be the items Stacy wanted me to find. I refocussed my attention on the canisters, and began emptying the contents into the sink. After emptying the sugar, I find that the canister had a false bottom, which when removed revealed a tranquilizer gun stuck between two pieces of foam.
When she gave me the keys to her apartment, she knew I would go through the butter in the fridge to find her note.
Great, so I had a weapon! Stacy hadn’t arrived yet, so there must be something else I was supposed to do. There was a phone on the wall, but I had no numbers to call. It was then that I noticed the small green card on the wall next to the phone, which turned out to be a business card for the same catering service mentioned in the note I’d found in the butter. Interestingly, there were two phone numbers on the card, but no mention as to who the second one might be for. I rang the catering company, and typed “order food” when someone answered. About five seconds later there was a knock at the door, which really put me off guard! I hadn’t actually considered what I would do when they arrived. I opened the door though, and watched as they walked in, put the food on the counter, and asked for payment.
Yes, can you please send someone over here so I can take them hostage and steal their clothes?
I could think of nothing else to do but “use gun on man”, and was a little bit shocked when the caterer begged for his life. Was I really supposed to take advantage of a poor innocent civilian to gain access to the compound? I guess so! I demanded he give me his clothes, and he quickly stripped down to his boxers and asked “what now?” I didn’t really need anything else that he might have, so I tried to tell him to leave in about ten different ways, none of which worked. If I didn’t do anything within about thirty seconds, Stacy would arrive and tell me we were too late to save the Ambassador. I think I restored about twenty times at this point, trying to pick up the clothes, tell the caterer to get on the ground, tie him up despite not having anything to do it with, and got nowhere! I started to think about what James Bond might do! That didn’t work either.
Um...I'm not sure...this is my first time!
I restored back to before I’d made the phone call, and called the other number of the card. A voice answered with “This is Basal! Speak your business!” Once again I was caught off-guard, not having any idea what to say. Who was Basal and why did I need to talk to him? No matter what I said, he always responded with “you’re making no sense” and hung up. Perhaps Basal’s purpose would make sense later? I have to admit I was getting pretty frustrated at this point. I really wanted to finish the game and move onto something more enjoyable, but had to struggle on with no real purpose. Suddenly that object on the fridge caught my attention again. Surely it wasn’t just part of the fridge. What the hell was that thing!?
Basal! Howzit hangin bro!?
There were a lot of things I didn’t like about Codename: ICEMAN, but nothing annoyed me more than the parser limitations. When I walked to the fridge and typed “look on top of fridge” and received “on top of the icebox you see a roll of tape”, I was really pissed off. “Look on fridge” didn’t work, but “Look on top of fridge” did?!?! That’s really bad programming and that sort of thing popped up all through the game. Letting my anger go, I immediately picked up the tape and went back to the phone. The tape’s use was obvious, and once the caterer arrived and had taken his clothes off, I used the duct tape to tie him up. Finally I was able to change into the caterer’s clothes, and then Stacy arrived, proving that I’d now done what I was supposed to do in her apartment. Or so I thought.
Apparently the tape is not "on" the fridge. It's "on top" of the fridge. There's a difference you know!
She advised me to take the caterer’s van and head over to the compound, and also told me not to forget to “conceal the weapon”. I figured I should take the food from the counter before leaving to complete the disguise, but I didn’t seem able to. I also tried to “conceal weapon”, but the game responded with “Don’t be a wimp.” Alright then, it was time to go get the Ambassador! Once I left the apartment, I automatically hopped into the van and drove over to the compound. On arrival, I typed “conceal weapon” again, and this time Johnny hid the weapon in the food that I apparently had ready for delivery. I hopped out of the van and tried to enter the compound. The guard stopped me, saying “You are not the regular caterer. Something is not right here. What is your name?” I answered with a fake name (automatically), and he then searched me and found the gun, ending my game in the process.
Basal? It's me! Come on mate!
Hmmm...how could I avoid him finding the gun? He obviously searched me thoroughly because he didn’t recognise me, but how could I make him recognise me when he’d never met me before? I restored back to the apartment and rang Basal. That number wouldn’t be listed on the business card for no reason. It had to be involved somehow! Perhaps it was the guard’s number? Even if that was the case, what could I say to him that would make him let me through? I tried saying I was from the Caterer’s company in about ten different ways and also tried mentioning the food order, but got nowhere. With no hints whatsoever as to what I was supposed to be doing, I very nearly requested assistance at this stage. But...out of desperation really, I tried typing “talk to man”...and it worked!!!
Because all guards are stupid.
I don’t need to tell you why this bothers me greatly. I’ll just move on as we’re getting real close now. Apparently I explained to Basal, despite not having any idea who or where he was, that I was the new caterer that will make the next delivery to the compound. This of course allowed me to hop back into the van and repeat exactly what I did last time, with the difference being he didn’t search the food I was carrying. Once inside the compound, I found myself in a room with two guards and the Ambassador tied up. I placed the food on the table, removed the lid, and picked up the gun. I typed “shoot”, and was thrilled when one of the guards went down. Unfortunately, my slight hesitation at this point allowed the second guard to shoot me. Time to restore, hopefully for the last time!
Get on the ground right now or I will...make you go to sleep!
The next time I typed shoot, and then immediately typed shoot a second time. That was all it took to take down both guards, leaving me to untie the Ambassador and presumably finish the game. The Ambassador was extremely relieved and grateful to be rescued, and told me so in about eight different ways. While I was listening to him, one of the guards woke up (some tranquiliser!) and shot me. I should have known this game would have one more trick up its sleeve. I restored, and this time after untying him, I tried unsuccessfully to get him to leave with me. No matter what I typed, I always faced a message like “leaving now would doom the Ambassador”. OK...so what was I supposed to do? Leaving wasn’t an option, but nor was staying. Another disguise perhaps? I typed “change clothes” and was thrilled when the Ambassador changed into terrorist attire. Now...we could finally leave!
Ambassador Loyd told Johnny to wait outside. He had unfinished business!
The Ambassador and I left the compound, only to be confronted by the remaining guard outside. “I shall now kill you both!” *sigh* Can this game please just end damn it! It’s like the last twenty minutes of Lord of the Rings! Thankfully, I didn’t actually have to do anything this time. Stacy came to the rescue and took the guard down before he could fire a shot. The three of us hopped into the van and I then watched a cut scene of the van driving up a twisting mountain path to an awaiting helicopter, with terrorists close behind in a jeep. At least I thought it was a cut scene! Once the van reached the first corner, it ploughed into the wall and we all died! I was going to have to control the van myself.
Unfortunately you didn't tell me I had to turn LEFT!
That turned out to be pretty difficult. The controls were extremely unresponsive, and not only did I have to press left or right at exactly the right times, I also had to balance my speed exactly to avoid either driving straight off the cliff or being caught by the jeep. It wasn’t much fun, and at one point I took the option of pressing F8 to skip the whole scene. I just couldn’t handle the fact that I lost ten points for not completing it though, so I gritted my teeth and resorted to save and restore measures. Every time I got around a corner I would save my game, before continuing up the mountain. Once I reached the top, the game did, finally, end!
B A R spells bar!
There was a lengthy outro where the resulting political drama was explained and I was congratulated for my achievements. I was awarded both “the coveted Gold Dolphins” and “The Naval Distinguished Service Medal”, and was also promoted to the rank of Captain! As seems to be norm for Jim Wall games, Codename: ICEMAN finished with the main character getting the girl, as Johnny “tenderly kisses Stacy”. That my friends, is the end of the game, and I can tell you right now that I will not ever be playing it again. I’ve been frustrated by certain interfaces or puzzles throughout the course of this blog, but I don’t think I’ve been as consistently irritated as I have been throughout Codename: ICEMAN. I’m sure the final rating will reflect that irritation.
Save the day, get the girl. Mr Wall is such a romantic!
Session Time: 4 hours 30 minutes
Total Time: 16 hours 30 minutes