Tuesday, 12 July 2016

Elvira II - Won!

Written by Deimar

Dirk Gentley Journal Entry #6 "Finally, after way too much bait and switch, I have managed to rescue Elvira. And I only had to kill a real vampire, although a bit old-fashioned; re-animate and de-animate a monster made of human parts; resurrect a dead priest; bring some magic mumbo jumbo to the crazy Indian janitor; and kill one of the major demons in hell. And all of that in the span of a night. Go me? I certainly hope Elvira’s reward is worth all the personal nightmares I am going to have from now on."

Finally, after many hours of dungeon crawling, I see the light at the end of the tunnel. But let’s not get ahead of ourselves, as the game still has one last curveball to throw in my way. But first a recap. Last time we had cleared both the catacombs and the spider nest, having “rescued” two Elviras. I was still lacking the one in the haunted mansion. The only rooms I had not cleared there were the attic with the vampire and the basement with the Frankenstein’s monster, which had a door behind it.

From my previous playthroughs and the hints in the library I knew I had to re-create the Frankenstein experiment, but for the life of me I couldn’t remember how to defeat the vampire to set the experiment in motion. And I tried everything. Every spell which could remotely be related, every weapon and several deaths trying to desperately click on things in the room. I even faced dead-ending myself by taking a stake in the catacombs behind a destroy magic spell and nothing worked. The library was of no help, and it only noted that primal vampires have very few weaknesses. I was starting to fear I had missed or used an item I should not have, but after my initial RfA in my first post my fears were dissipated. I’ll try my best here for a clickbait title: You won’t believe what happened after.

Boom! That’s what happened

The solution for this particular puzzle was to use a tuning fork while inside the room, which makes the glass of the window in the attic shatter, letting in sunlight, despite the fact that later you go outside and it is a very dark night, and killing the vampire. If there is a text-book example of a cartoon logic puzzle I think this may very well be it. I mean, the puzzle has some logical base, but I don’t see how anyone could think to do that. It is even worse, as a tuning fork is needed for the lightning spell, which suggests that the only use for the item is to serve as craft material. Lucky for me, my paranoia, developed after having played Elvira I, served me well here, as I only crafted spells with worthless items.

In any case, that solved the problem. I took the portable stairs from the nearby work in progress room to access the roof through the shattered window. Outside, a perfect clear night. Must have been a dyslexic vampire. I put the copper rod next to the chimney, connected to a power cable. Then I mixed the summon storm spell using the barometer from the entrance. And the rest is history. Or a gif.

1.21 gigawatts!!

A quick trip to the basement later, I was in front of a fully functional lab and ready to play the mad doctor. This is another tricky part. You see, the moment you power the monster, he starts walking towards you. At any moment you can touch its head and, if you are wearing the wire cutters from Elvira’s car, you can stop him right in his tracks. However, if you do it too soon, you are not able to open the door behind the monster. And if you do it too late you may die, or even worse, you may be bugged without being able to move at all. Or unable to extract the monster’s brain, which is needed to resurrect the priest in the church.

He won’t miss it

The door behind contains another Elvira. But just when I was about to start nuking it from orbit, she turned out to be the real one. I was a sad psychopath, but a happy player. Elvira chose to insert herself into my inventory, with the Indian magic bag, and together we went to face the last threat: Cerberus. And I had just the right recipe from the library (where else?) and the Indian janitor. First order of business: get the old man to do his magic on the items.

The magic of peyote, I am sure

Next, resurrect the priest so he can do some un-priestly things. The resurrect spell is one of the last puzzles in the game. There is no description of its ingredients in the manual, although there is an extensive guide in the library. The spell requires three body parts of the deceased, specifically the heart, the brain and some skin. These three are easy to get, as they are all in the lab (well, the brain was inside the monster, but that’s technically also in the lab). Next item in the shop list is something dear to the deceased. The signed bible does the trick. The final ingredient is the “shell” of a living creature. The quotes are not mine, it is written like that in the library. After checking my by now vast inventory, it took me a while to realize that the basket of eggs was the one fitting the description. And voilá! Father Callahan is on his feet again!

And quite ready to paint a blood pentagram to allow me to
summon a demon from hell! Way to go, priest!

The priest painted a pentagram of bloom in the parking lot of the studio upon my request (and my chalice full of blood). However, there was one last thing before the final encounter. I was going to need a bind demon spell, as advised by the book in the library. I had gotten the scroll detailing the spell from the scorpion in the spider’s lair, and it said it requires a binding item. The rope from the bottom of the lake is the needed item here, which together with the scroll allow you to craft the spell. I was just ready to fight. Well, almost. I had to let the game run for a while to recharge spell points, as I had run out of mana potions. The final encounter at the parking lot is almost as disappointing as that phrase. Just follow the instructions of the janitor: put a black candle in each of the star points, light them with some matches, use the magical bag to summon the demon, cast the bind demon spell to block him for doing any harm, throw the lance to kill it and use the tomahawk to do him a Fatality. It is very reminiscent of the ending of the first game, which is basically another sequence you have to carry out to kill Emelda. I have recorded the whole scene here for your personal pleasure.


And with that we finish Elvira. I will reserve my thoughts for the final rating, although you can already see they won’t be very good.


And we got a winner ladies and gentlemen. Lupus Yonderboy guessed the exact number of deaths. Attaboy!! CAPS will be on your way!

Session Time: 4 hours 06 minutes
Total Time: 23 hours 56 minutes


  1. Another one bites the dust! Thanks for this review and I'm looking forward to the final rating.

  2. Catholic bishop, who allows a magic user to raise himself from death? I don't think so... I'm guessing it's yet another demon, who just helps you for his own nefarious purposes.

    Congratulations for finally getting through the game! This one seemed a slog.

  3. If you haven't noticed, there's a new feature on TAG - our Hall of Fame:


  4. I wonder how a circle of bloom works against such a great demon.

  5. Ah, the misspelling of pirana in the ending video brings my mind back to Martian Memorandum.