Space Quest 1 (VGA) - Part 4: Return of the Sariens - WON!

Written by Andy Panthro

Inside the Sarien ship

So here we are, on the enemy ship, only able to use our wit and cunning to save the day. Hopefully all of those action movies I've watched when I was supposed to be working will come in handy. Of course the last thing the Sariens would ever suspect is that the janitor of the ship they robbed would come and act the hero, so I have the element of surprise on my side (and little else).

The airlock leads to a storage room (the design of this ship makes no sense)

I managed to make it out of the airlock at least, but now I'm not sure where I am or where I'm supposed to go. All there is in this room is a door out of here, some large storage containers, a small box, and an air vent. A peek outside the main door reveals sarien guards, so that's out of the question. The large containters are useless to me, so all that's left is to use this box (nothing interesting inside) to stand on and access this vent.

In my shiny new Sarien uniform, minus almost all items

Thanks to my trusty Xenon Army Knife, the vent is opened and I can crawl inside. I can only thank the designers of this ship for making vents large enough for a grown human to fit through. All I see in here are space-rats (you can tell they're space-rats, because they're found in space), and after much crawling one other vent opening. I kick the vent open, and drop down into... the laundry room.

The elevator guard seems nice... for a Sarien

Well this isn't ideal, and already there's the sound of footsteps approaching. Thinking quickly, I dive into the washing machine and hope the Sarien goes away. To my surprise, he takes his uniform off and throws it into the machine, and then turns it on! Unusually, being thrown around a futuristic washing machine's spin cycle doesn't kill me. I end up exiting the machine feeling clean, and wearing a smart Sarien officer's uniform. I grab his ID badge from the floor and exit the room.

The Star Generator, and a massive guard

Instead of being shot at, the Sariens think I'm an officer so they actually stop and salute. Quite handy that, because it means I can wander freely around the ship. I quickly locate the Star Generator, but it's guarded by a large soldier and a powerful forcefield. Also of note is a cartridge reader (in case you didn't check it at Kerona), a lift to the escape pod (guarded), and an armoury with sarcastic droid (is there any other kind?).

Sarcastic droids wherever I turn

Using the ID I found with the uniform, I blagged a weapon from the sarcastic droid, and when he was in the back room I stole a gas grenade too, just for kicks. Walking back across the walkway above the Star Generator, I clumsily dropped the gas grenade on the head of the guard below. He choked to death on the gas, so I guess it was pretty powerful stuff. I felt a little bad about this, but put it out of my mind and continued onwards. Unfortunately, as I was close to getting in the elevator to the floor below, I tripped and my helmet fell off. Cursing my luck, I was about to get up and grab it when the cleaning droid stepped on me and took the helmet. Far too efficient these cleaning droids, that's why you should employ a proper janitor.

I almost feel bad gassing this guy to death

Anyway, not helmet-less I knew my days were numbered if the Sariens got a good look at me. My only recourse was to shoot first, and try and finish the mission. Getting to the Star Generator was easy, and I used the remote control from the guard to disable the forcefield. Next all I needed was the self-destruct code, which I managed to input on the fourth attempt (if my memory was better I wouldn't be a janitor!). I only had five minutes to get off the ship, so I got my gun ready and prepared to make a run for the escape pod.

The escape pod seems a little out of place

I had to shoot a few Sariens along the way, including the guard by the elevator. He seemed nice, as far as Sariens go, but there was no time for pleasantries so vaporisation was the only option. Knowing that time was ticking away quickly, the ride in the elevator was incredibly tense. Luckily, there wasn't a guard on the lower deck, and I could get into the escape pod and get away in plenty of time. I didn't even have to remember to buckle my seatbelt, or open the bay doors, or put on a space-suit!

Best fireworks display ever!

With the Sarien ship exploding behind me, for once I felt truly good about what I'd done. I was no longer just an ordinary space-janitor, I was Roger Wilco, Hero of Xenon! I punched in the coordinates for my home planet and headed back for a rather lovely ceremony and the prize of a Golden Mop. Now all that's left is to make the most of my new found fame, and get a good book deal.

There's no place like Xenon

There's a nagging feeling though, that this won't be my last adventure...

The Golden Mop!

Interesting Death of the Day (TM)

Where did that even come from?

Today's death features the armoury on the Sarien space ship, a sarcastic droid, and yet another unfortunate death for Roger Wilco. It turns out the armoury has a unique defence system...