Where we last saw Larry, his wedding night didn’t go quite as planned. Fawn, his bride, tied him up with the tacky heart-shaped bed’s tacky bow, swiped his money as “repayment” for the wine, and skedaddled. To add insult to injury, it’s pretty clear she hopped into the bone zone with the alcohol-delivery boy while Larry was out. Can’t a guy catch a break?
It’s a good thing that Larry traded that box of wine to the friendly wino outside of the convenience store for the pocketknife two posts ago. Also, recall the wino’s semi-cryptic words about the kinky women of Lost Wages preying on handsome studs like Larry. It’s pretty easy to put two-and-two together and come up with using the knife to cut the bonds (10 points), but as far as I can tell, this is a classic Sierra Walking Dead ScenarioTM if I ever saw one.
In a humorous little animation, Larry thrusts his hips and the knife pops out from somewhere in his massive adventure game character’s pants—or in this case, boxer shorts—and lands in his hands, allowing him to cut the ribbon. The text that pops up next is a very subtle hint as to what the player may want to have Larry do next.
|Subtle for Al Lowe.|
“. . . Larry reads his copy of JUGS and finds an article about window washers securing themselves with a rope around the waist before working on the sides of tall buildings . . . . A clue for the mysterious other window at Lefty’s, perhaps? If only I had some rope . . .”
Better snag that ribbon before I go (3 points). There’s nothing else Larry can do in this room, save shut the radio and take a swig of the leftover wine. Trying to take anything else gives Larry the following admonishment: “Why take it? You don’t want to remember Fawn (that scum-sucking gutterslug!).” Okay game, I get it. Time to gamble. I’d need to, anyway, because save for being able to walk to the chapel, every other destination requires taxi fare in excess of ten bucks, and I really want to get whatever it is in that window on the alley by Lefty’s. Something to help with Faith, the security guard at the casino penthouse, perhaps?
Still feeling blue, Larry figures he’ll take in the dancing “ladies” at the cabaret to cheer him up. Instead, there’s a rather pale comedian and his afro-sporting drummer cracking jokes to an audience of zero.
|What’s wrong with your face!|
|Police Quest I, Space Quest I, and Larry I. Did someone at Sierra have a gambling addiction? Or is it just padding? The world may never know.|
A $26.00 cab ride and an awkward walk by the pimp (STILL WATCHING THE SAME PORN! SERIOUSLY, WHAT CHANNEL IS THAT?!) and the hooker (still under the covers and still smoking), Larry climbs back out of the window and finds himself looking into the abyss of Lefty’s alley.
|Venereal disease, public exposure, and now bestiality. This game’s got it all!|
|Because the game flat-out told me?|
|The music is working itself into a fever pitch at this point.|
|Love the paintings.|
|Two words: pure class.|
|Caption Contest #2: Who is this celebrity look alike?|
|Even the game’s disgusted.|
|Ho, hum. I guess I’ll chase this thing.|
|No particular hurry.|
|The girl of Larry’s dreams.|
|And although you get no points for it, you can flip the switch next to Eve’s elbow to turn off the bubbles.|
Anyway, Larry gives Eve the apple (15 points . . . only three more than blasting the blow-up doll! What the hell?), and then:
|Obviously, Larry’s never eaten a durian.|
|I got 25 points right here.|
Session Time: 1 hour 30 minutes.
Total Time: 6 hour, 40 minutes.
Points: 212 out of 222.
Inventory: Wallet with $1,349.00, breath spray, watch (time: ???), remote control, disco pass, pocketknife, issue of JUGS magazine, hammer, password.