Hear my words Adventure Gamers: RETROSMACK IS UPON YOU!
This unsuspecting planet is about to feel the full force of RetroSmack, and I invite all of you to visit my domain to witness your approaching doom before the rest of humanity. It pleases me much to know that your suffering will be extended, knowingly awaiting the oncoming storm while others live in ignorance around you. As a token of my gratitude for our former allegiance, I have decided to offer you a single chance for glory. You have three days to visit www.retrosmackblog.com and join my cause. Do this, and I shall reward you with riches beyond your wildest imagination. I will allow you to trade your worthless CAPs for glorious Smacks, and you will be trained in the ways of RetroSmack so as to prepare for the upcoming Retrocalypse. Three days I give you. The clock is ticking.