Game 33: Space Quest III - Won!

Roger Wilco Journal Entry 3: "What a rush! After destroying a huge force field generator on Ortega, I opened up an opportunity to visit Pestulon and save the two guys that contacted me through Astro Chicken. It certainly wasn't easy, as I firstly had to get into the complex unseen, then disguise myself as a janitor to gain access to the room where they were being held captive. Just when it looked like we were going to escape unnoticed, it turned out the boss and his guards were watching me all along. Thankfully the little dweeb overestimated his ability to play Nukem Dukem Robots, with his challenge resulting in his defeat and my eventual escape. You'd think after all that I would gain some reward and happiness, but as usual, not all ends well for Roger Wilco, oh no! Our ship was sucked into a black hole during our escape, transporting us to a parallel universe where the two guys I just rescued were hired by a software company called Sierra, leaving me to once again travel off into space on my own. I don't know what awaits me...but let's hope it doesn't involve me risking my life all over again. I've had enough adventure to last a lifetime!"

It's back to Ortega we go!

As expected, my third session of Space Quest III was the last one required to complete it. I’ll save my overall thoughts for the Final Rating post and try to get the rest of my play through wrapped up in this post. So where were we? Oh that’s right, I’d just found out that the Two Guys from Andromeda were being held captive on the planet Pestulon, but had decided to go back to Ortega now that I had the thermoweave underwear to protect me from the harsh environmental conditions. Once I arrived I discovered that I was now able to walk around the planet without melting, so that was a vast improvement over my first attempt. After making my way across a dangerously loose rock section (I failed the first time and plummeted to my death), I looked over a wall to see a “short range scout ship” parked with no-one around. When I walked around the wall to gain access to it, I ran into a bunch of ScumSoft employees, who were using various telescopic and radar devices for unknown purposes. They walked away before I could consider interacting with them, and I heard the ship take off. They did however leave their stuff behind, so I began looking through it, hoping to find something useful.

The death scenes are highly enjoyable in Space Quest III!

So all these planets have breathable air!?

Amongst the equipment were “a telescope, an anemometer on a pole, some seismic equipment, and a crate of some sort”. I opened the crate and found a bunch of detonators inside. I picked one up (10 points), then also collected the pole (10 points), ignoring the anemometer (whatever that is). I didn’t appear to be able to get anything else, so I moved on to the east and then eventually upwards towards the peak of a “decayed cinder cone”. There was a large machine at the top, sitting within a volcanic crater, although its purpose wasn’t clear to me at the time. I entered it, and found myself inside a huge pink and blue metallic room. The room description stated that the machine was a “massive force field generator”, although I’m not sure how Roger would know that. I wandered around inside and then climbed a tall ladder that took me right up to the very top of the machine. There I found a large hole at the peak where the force field beam apparently originated. I had a sudden urge to throw the detonator into it. I can’t say whether it was my memory telling me to do it or whether finding large holes while holding explosive devices can result in only one form of action, but I did it regardless! “The explosion disables the force field generator. You may now travel to Pestulon.” (20 points)

Seems like a safe place to put it. What could go wrong?

Who was in charge of decor around here?

Hmmm…I didn’t even realise that I couldn’t travel to Pestulon. I guess I’d figured that learning about the Two Guys trapped there was all it took to add Pestulon as an option on my navigation screen. This got me thinking though. Since there’s no real reason to play Astro Chicken or indeed visit Monolith Burger at all, it’s quite possible for someone to blow up the force field generator without even being aware of Pestulon. Even though I knew about it, I still didn’t really understand why I was on Ortega or why I might want to blow up the machine. Not very good game design!  Anyway, now all I needed to do was get back to my ship, and this task was made more urgent when I was informed that the detonator had set off a chain reaction of earthquakes. I made my way as quickly as I could back through the large room and headed for my ship, only to find that the loose rock section had fallen away into the lava. There was no other pathway I could take to reach the ship, so I was going to have to jump over the gap somehow. Any experienced gamer would have no problem figuring out the solution, since there were so few items in my inventory at the time. I typed “use pole”, and watched as Roger ran towards the gap and pole vaulted across. “The Romanian judge gives you a 9.5!” (20 points)

So that's why I'm here?!

After practising pole vault with all his brooms over the years, this was never going to be an issue for Roger

There were no further obstacles, so I hopped back into the Aluminium Mallard and accessed the navigation screen. As expected, I was now able to travel to Pestulon, so I set my course and prepared for the game’s climax. Pestulon turned out to be a very green planet, with odd, twisted “trees” all over the place. I decided to head east for no particular reason, and was surprised when the first screen I accessed held the ScumSoft complex! Hiding behind some vegetation, I watched as several guards exited the building, obviously trying to find out what the unidentified craft was that landed somewhere in the vicinity. Suddenly I was given a choice as to what my next move would be. I could “Stay Here”, “Return to Ship” or “Enter ScumSoft”. I hadn’t yet used my invisibility belt, and this looked like a perfect opportunity! I chose “Stay Here”, then typed “use belt”. Roger disappeared, but I was informed that I only had a few moments before the belt’s power pack would be depleted. When the decision options appeared again, I chose to “Enter ScumSoft”, and then witnessed a barely visible Roger running across the grass and straight past the unsuspecting guards into the complex. (25 points)

I'm sure Iggle Piggle and Upsy Daisy are around here somewhere

I'm sure guarding a software company on an otherwise vacant planet that's historically been protected by a huge force field is one of the more rewarding careers

I made it just in time, with the invisibility belt running out of juice as soon as I’d reached safety. My view shifted once inside and I could now watch Roger running towards or away from the “camera”, making his way around a circular hallway. There were exits on both sides of the hall, so I took them in the order I reached them. The first doorway I passed through did something unexpected. While Roger did indeed go into the room beyond, the door simply closed and my view didn’t follow him inside. This wasn’t the first Space Quest game where this had happened, so I immediately knew that this was a janitor’s closet! I typed “look in closet”: “Rummaging about the cramped closet you find a pair of old, grimy janitorial coveralls.” I put them on, finding a trash vaporizer in one of the pockets. “You’ve seen these babies in all the janitorial supply catalogs but your superiors were always too cheap to outfit you with one.” (5 points) I did indeed have the coveralls on when I exited the closet, so I moved onto the next door. This one led to a typical office environment, with numerous ScumSoft employees banging away on their keyboards and manager-types wandering around with clipboards. I remembered the scene from past experience, and knew I had to make my way through the maze of partitions while playing the part of a janitor.

That looks more like a young Gene Hackman than Roger Wilco!

This is pretty much what my first office environment looked like, right down to the partition colouring

As long as I used my vaporizer to empty each bin of its scrunched up paper, the managers would leave me alone, leaving me free to explore the area. Eventually I found a picture of the boss (Elmo Pug) on one of the walls, which I was able to pick up. I seemed to recall using the photocopier near it for something, so I typed in “copy picture”. It worked, so I put the real picture back on the wall and took the convincing copy with me. (5 points) Exiting the maze to the north brought me to the boss’ cubicle area, but I couldn’t really investigate it while he was there. I walked around behind him and gained a view of my spaceship sitting in the ScumSoft vehicle bay. I wasn’t sure how I was going to escape after saving the Two Guys, but put that thought aside as I hadn’t even found them yet. When I walked back inside I found the boss had now departed his desk, so wandered into his office to take a look around. There was a keycard sitting on the desk just begging to be stolen, so I obliged! (5 points) I couldn’t find or think of anything else to do in the office area, so I made my way back to the hallway, hoping to find another doorway I could try out.

An office run by a snotty nosed fourteen year old. Joy!

Honestly, they could have made some of these puzzles a bit harder.

I found one, and this one had a keycard security system on it. I typed “use keycard” and the door appeared to unlock, but then a message popped up saying “Keycard verified. Standby for composite facial scan.” That was obviously what the picture of Elmo was for, so I typed “show picture”. Roger held the picture of the boss up to the scan, and it did the trick, opening the door and letting me through! (20 points) The chamber beyond had four exits, including the one I’d just entered through, and the Two Guys from Andromeda were held captive on a platform in the centre. The two of them were held by green jello, and it was difficult to tell whether they were actually alive or not. At first I couldn’t figure out how I might reach them, as the bridges from all four exits were retracted. I could tell that there were keypads on the walls next to at least two of the exits, but I couldn’t get to them either. I took a punt and typed “use keypad”. Apparently there was one on the wall right next to me, only I couldn’t see it! I was able to make the bridge extend, allowing me to wander across and stand next to the jello. I tried to talk to the guys, but they only responded with “HELPH!”

Please work, please work, please work...

What have they done to you now Han!?

I looked through my very small inventory in search of something that might work. The vaporizer seemed a good bet, so I used it on the jello. It worked: “Thanks dude! It’s great to be out of that green stuff. They discovered our distress message we coded into the Astro Chicken game and sent us here as punishment. Let’s get out of here before we’re discovered!” (245 points) I couldn’t agree more, but before we could begin our escape, the bridge retracted again, and then part of the wall did too, revealing Elmo Pugg and a stack of ScumSoft workers and guards watching us. (-235 points) “Nobody’s going anywhere... heh, heh, heh! You must have thought you were pretty clever, Mr. Wilco, disguising yourself as a janitor. Unfortunately for you, my boys found your sorry excuse for a ship in the woods. Escort this gentleman to the ARENA. You boys haven’t seen a good fight in quite a while.” The three of us were led from the room, reappearing in a huge arena where two giant mechwarrior-style bots awaited. I was led to the white one, while Elmo himself hopped into the gold one. “OK Wilco, the name of the game is Nukem Dukem Robots. The only rule is that there are no rules!”

In other words, I've decided to give you an opportunity to escape, because that's what villains do

Awesomeness!

The aim of Nukem Dukem Robots was simple. Press the J key to punch the opponent and the M key to block, while using the left and right arrows to move the robot back and forward. I ignored the block key altogether, preferring to just wait until Elmo moved his robot into range and pressing M. I defeated him in under a minute, watching with satisfaction as his robot fell through the wall in the side of the arena. (100 points) I climbed out of the robot, and the Two Guys and I bolted through the hole, which just happened to lead to the vehicle bay. We jumped into my ship and took off before anyone could stop us! The game had one last trick up its sleeve though, as short range fighters began approaching me from the rear. I immediately set my shields to rear, then pressed fire as they passed me and my targets locked on. This fight was once again way too easy, as all I had to do was put my front shields up when the target was in front of me and my back shields up when the target was behind me. There was no real challenge at all, and after I took down a few fighters, the remaining enemies simply gave up and went home. (100 points)

Round 1...Fight!

Sayonara suckers!!!!

I was in the clear, and Mark and Scott told me how awesome I was, suggesting we go grab some food somewhere to celebrate! Their tune changed quickly though when I informed them that the ScumSoft employees had deactivated my light speed system, so it was going to take ages to get anywhere. “What! Now I’ll never get any food! Some rescuer you are!” Scott found the Light Speed Maintenance Access Panel and reattached the belt, but since I hadn’t entered a course into the navigation panel, we were thrown into light speed with no destination. We flew blindly through space, eventually hitting a black hole that pulled us in. “A bright light becomes visible in the distance. It grows larger as your ship races toward it. Finally you are hurled out of the blackness into a parallel universe.” This universe just happened to be our own, and the Aluminium Mallard appeared not far away from a little green and blue planet called Earth! We landed the ship just outside a pleasant looking building surrounded by a forest of trees. It was Sierra headquarters, and in a fantastic self-parodying moment in gaming history, the Two Guys from Andromeda introduced themselves to Ken Williams, the president and founder of Sierra On-Line!

Hey, don't be playing with random electronics on my spaceship, you hear me!?

This is actually what the Sierra building looked like! Check out the photo below.

Mark: “Greetings Earthling. We are the Two Guys from Andromeda, Universally famous software authors.” Roger: “And I am Roger Wilco, Space age swashbuckler and all around nice guy.” Ken: “Sooo... You two guys are software authors heh? What are your credits?” Scott: “Ever heard of ASTRO CHICKEN?” Ken: “No.” Scott: “Good! Ken: “How about you two guys come to work for me?”Scott and Mark: “Sounds great! How many buckazoids does it pay?” Roger also saw an opportunity, asking whether Mr. Williams might also require a janitor. The answer was no, so Roger climbed back into his ship, feeling left out but knowing he’d accomplished his mission. “The Two Guys from Andromeda go on to create the Space Quest series of adventure games reaping fame and fortune. They grow fat on their success and soon become burnt out and begin a drunken tailspin into obscurity.” Space Quest III finished with Roger shooting off into light speed once again...course unknown! I on the other hand know exactly what course I will be taking now that this adventure is over. I’ll be trying my hand at a Laura Bow game for the very first time! I should let you all know that I’ll be having a short break before that happens though, as my wife and I will be leaving for a belated honeymoon trip to Tasmania tomorrow morning and will return in five days time. I’ll try to get the Final Rating post done before we go, although I will schedule it for the weekend if I do.

Only Sierra truly got away with this stuff!

THE END

Session Time: 1 hours 15 minutes
Total Time: 4 hours 00 minutes