Game 29: Leisure Suit Larry III - Pandering to Passionate Patti

Larry Laffer Journal Entry 4: “I’ve met the woman of my dreams! Her name is Passionate Patti, she’s a keyboard player at the casino bar, and I simply must have her! Unfortunately, she’s playing a bit harder to get than some of the other women around here, including Cherri Tart, who didn’t hang around after I managed to have sex with her. That little episode ended more than a little embarrassingly, with me dressed in feathers and dancing in front of hundreds of spectators, but I managed to make the most of the situation. In fact, the $500 I made was very useful; being just the amount I needed to get the divorce papers Patti demanded to see. Sadly, now it appears she’s not entirely impressed by my relaxed physique. Nor is Bambi, a chick I met at the gym. I’ll show them...as soon as I can figure out the combination to this damn locker!”

It took me ages to find this place! It better be worth it!

So I’d finally found Dewey, Cheatem & Howe! It was time to go in and see if I could get this land deed. Inside there was a male receptionist who I asked if there was a lawyer available to see me. He asked me what in particular I needed a lawyer for, to which I answered “land deed”. (20 points) Two of the three lawyers were currently preoccupied, but the third one, Ms. Cheatem, was readily available. I entered her office, and took a seat on the couch at her instruction. I “looked” at Suzi Cheatem, who of course turned out to be a stunner! While I hadn’t entered the room expecting to do anything other than get the papers I needed, I was now thinking that there might be another opportunity to get some action here. Before I could make any moves, Suzi informed me that the first consultation would be free, but that any further work would come at a price.

Suzi Cheatem: Very worth it!

I spent quite a few minutes trying to figure out what it was that might impress Suzi enough to get her naked, but she just wouldn’t give me anything. I noticed there were TV guides on the shelf alongside the text books, so I thought perhaps she would like an invitation to the park with the TV (hey, it was worth a try), but that didn’t get anywhere. In the end I simply asked her about the deed, and Suzi explained the ancient island custom. “Any land owned by either or both spouses upon dissolution of the marriage becomes the exclusive property of the male member of the household.” This meant I was now the owner of “a considerable chunk of Nonoonyt real estate”, and she asked her secretary (Roger) to get the papers organised for me. (30 points) I had one last unsuccessful attempt at seducing Suzi, and then left her office to go see Roger. He told me to come back in a few minutes, which typically for a Sierra adventure game, meant stepping outside and coming back in.

Why don't you tell me what you really think!

I collected the deed, but not before Roger told me how worthless the land was, being so isolated from the main tourist areas. (20 points) I rushed back to the casino showroom and knocked on the door. Cherri was there as promised, and she asked if I had the deed. “I’ve got it right here, sweetheart, and I think you know just how much I’d like to give it to you! Now you can give up show business and move to your own little place out in the country.” (25 points) Her response proved that not everything was as it seemed: “640 acres of virgin Nontoonyt rain forest, perfectly suited for slash burning and typical agricultural pillage”, but she did invite me backstage to allow her to express her appreciation. Score! Cherri and I walked behind some sort of half transparent prop, causing our bodies to be nothing more than silhouettes. We then took off our clothes and got down to business! Just as things were really heating up, the lights went out!

Somehow I don't think Larry could...

It soon became apparent that the second show was about to begin, so both Larry and Cherri rushed to get their clothes back on in the darkness. Of course, when the lights came on, I found myself in Cherri’s show costume, standing in front of a packed audience! Larry decided to do his best Cherri impersonation, and went through all the shimmies, shakes and spins. Funny stuff to be sure, although the quality of the graphics don’t really allow for much discernible difference between Cherri or Larry onstage at such a distance. “The audience must also appreciate your talents as they begin the throw dollar bills - - at you!” After the show was over, Larry collected no less than five hundred dollar bills! (43 points) I went backstage again to change back into my suit (25 points) and then made my way down the corridor to the bar. This time Patti was there, seated at the keyboard!

Well, it seemed funny when I came up with it.

I walked over, sat myself on a stool, and introduced myself. (5 points) Her response came as a bit of a surprise, given how unused I am to women trying to pick up Larry in return. “And hello to you, Larry. I’m the girl of your dreams, Passionate Patti!” I got a close up look of Patti, and immediately turned to the art of seduction. Unfortunately, Patti wouldn’t give me much in the way of interests, only telling me that “you won’t get much out of life if you don’t go for it.” I didn’t have much in my inventory, but I thought I would try giving the lei I’d made out of flowers. “Patti, here. Take these wilted, old flowers.” Well that wasn’t quite how I would have sold it, and not surprisingly, she responded with “No way Larry. Although I have a soft spot in my heart for orchids, I could never accept these tired old things. Is that all you think of me? Dead flowers, indeed!”

Where have you been all my life?

Well that might not have gone too well, but it told me the flowers were the key. There must be some sort of timer that takes the orchids from nice and fresh to old and wilted. I made my way back to the cave and collected a new bunch of flowers, then made a fresh lei for Patti. I took them straight to Patti, confident that we’d be horizontal in no time. “No, Larry, not now. Although I have a soft spot in my heart for orchids and I am growing more fond of you every moment we’re together, I could never date a married man!” Married? I’m divorced! I guessed that I was going to have to prove that Kalalau and I were no longer married, which would probably mean paying another visit to Suzi Cheatem. Oh well, at least that would give me another opportunity to bed her too! Not that I’ve used a bed at any stage in the game so far.

Yes, I tried everything! Needless to say, it didn't impress her.

Arriving back at DCH, I walked up to Roger and typed “ask about divorce”. He informed me that Suzi would be happy to meet with me again, but that this time it would cost me $500. Well, it’s hardly a coincidence that $500 is exactly the amount I picked up while on-stage in the casino showroom, so I handed it over. (10 points) I spent another ten minutes or so trying to seduce Suzi, but I just couldn’t find the trick to it. Perhaps there isn’t one?! Or perhaps there’ll be another opportunity down the track. Forgetting that for now, I asked her about the divorce, and she told me she would “get started on it right away. It’s a fairly straightforward agreement; it shouldn’t take long to prepare.” (40 points) As usual, all I had to do to get the papers was walk out of DCH and then back in, collecting them from Roger at the front desk. (20 points)

Come on Suzi. Just tell me what you want so we can get it on on the couch!

I rushed back to Patti, collecting fresh flowers for a new lei on the way. Surely she’d be mine now! “Patti, look! I did it! My divorce is finalized. Here, take it. Frame this thing and mount it here on your piano!” As I handed the papers to Patti, Suzi’s membership to Fat City fell out. Excellent! That means I can get into the gym, and it also might just give me a way to get Suzi to be very “grateful”. That would all have to wait though, or so I thought! (100 points) “Congratulations, Larry. Did I mention how much I love single men? Suddenly you’ve become a lot more interesting to me. We should get together some time.” What do you mean by “some time”? I’m ready to go now Patti! Confused, I tried talking to Patti again and all she would say is “Larry, I believe in the old saying: a good man is hard to find... but a hard man is good to find!” The gym membership! I was going to have to tone up for Patti to be truly interested. Man, she really is playing hard to get!

Well then I'm the catch of the century!

Taking Suzi’s membership card to Fat City, I realised I had three doors to choose from once there. I chose the one on the left, which led to the most daunting locker room I’ve ever come across! (3 points) I have to admit that just seeing this screen suggested whatever was about to happen was likely to be challenging, but I had little idea as to how. I could see what appeared to be naked women in the distance, but there didn’t seem to be any way of getting to them. What initially looked like a bitch of a maze turned out to be a very limited pathway through about 50 lockers! There were two doors at the back of the room, the first one leading to the showers and the second to the gym itself. I wasn’t able to enter either of them, as I was still in my suit. Clearly I was going to have to get changed, but which was Suzi’s locker??!!

My heart sank as soon as I entered this screen. Looks scary as hell!

I was suddenly reminded of that horrible Police Quest 2 puzzle where the locker combination I needed was on the back of my own business card. I tried looking at the back of Suzi’s membership card. Eureka!!! “Well, well. Look at this! Suzi wrote her locker number plus some words on the back of her spa keycard.” The locker number was 69, and the words were “Bippi’s Island Liquors, Nontoonyt Community Centre and Dewey, Cheatem & Howe.” (65 points) I began looking at the numbers on all the lockers until I found what appeared to be locker 69. When I tried to open it, I found that it required a combination to get into. Clearly the three business names on the back of the membership card were the key to figuring out the combination, but I couldn’t immediately see how. My first thought was that the manual was likely to be of assistance, so I opened it up.

Well at least that part of Police Quest 2 helped me out eventually

The first thing I came across was the ad for Dewey, Cheatem & Howe. I immediately noticed that the address at the bottom was 555 Hibiscus. Could the third number in the combination be 555? I looked up ad for Bippi’s Island Liquors, and was disappointed to find there was no address at all on that ad. In fact, there were no numbers whatsoever in the ad! Clearly I was going to have to take a different approach. I began to wonder whether the combination might have something to do with the page numbers that the ads were found on in the manual. Bippi’s Island Liquors was on page 10. Dewey, Cheatem & Howe was on page 16. However, the article that covered the different craft alternatives at Nontoonyt Community Centre started on page 6 and crossed over to page 7. I tried both 10, 6, 16 and 10, 7, 16 as the combination for the locker. Neither worked!

I couldn't find any hints in the Bippi's ad. Surely it's the page numbers!

A little bit confused, I decided to check out the other two doors in Fat City. Maybe there was a hint behind one of them, although I doubted it. The door to the right was my next choice, but when I tried to open it, the man behind the counter yelled “You can’t go in there! The tanning booth is out of order. We’ll get it fixed real soon now.” I therefore tried the third door, which I was able to enter! (3 points) Inside was a sort of studio, with monitors, speakers, a microphone and a camera set up. More importantly though, there was a bikini clad woman doing various gym exercises. I wandered over and talked to her, forgetting about Patti and lockers altogether. It’s nice to meet you, Larry Laffer. From the looks of that stomach, you’ve come to the right place!” I was then given the customary facial close-up and I have to say that in this instance I wasn’t all that impressed.

Fawning over Bambi (sorry!)

Reminding me of Cyndi Lauper, Bambi’s bleached hair, eighties style, and overuse of makeup just isn’t my thing. That wouldn’t stop Larry though, so I set about trying to discover what makes her purr. “My, my! Your body is certainly ready for one of my workouts!” While honesty is a fine trait, this woman is downright brutal! I asked her about this workout, and she responded with “maybe after I finish this aerobics video project, Larry.” Not to be put off, I then typed “help with video”, to which she said “not from you, Mr. Husky! What could a tub-o like you know about fitness?” Well, it seemed to me that both Patti and Bambi were not going to have sex with me until I lost a few pounds, so I had no option but to head back to the locker room and try to figure out the combination. This is actually where I finished my second session of Larry III, and it’s taken me close to a week to catch up on the posting side. I’ve played one further session since then, which I’ll report on in the coming days.

I'm pretty sure she just wants to have fun!

Session Time: 1 hours 00 minutes
Total Time: 3 hours 30 minutes

Note Regarding Spoilers and Companion Assist Points: I've written a set of rules regarding spoilers and companion assist points. Please read it here before making any comments that could be considered a spoiler in any way. The short of it is that no points will be given for hints or spoilers given in advance of me requiring one. Please...try not to spoil any part of the game for me...unless I really obviously need the help...or I specifically request assistance. In this instance, I've not made any requests for assistance. Thanks!