Wayne's World - Whoa, We're Halfway There

by Michael

So, how to start off this post?  How about a shocking thought:  this game is nowhere near as bad as I expected.

I'm not saying it's great.  I'm not even saying that it's good.  But there's actually a few things in here so far that are actually an improvement over the last game I played for the blog.  A LucasArts game, remember.

For example, some commenters on that last review were distressed by the lack of tool tips or mouse-over item descriptions.  This game has both.  It has icons that function very similarly to that of old-school LucasFilm games, where you can select an action, and then whip around the screen, the names of items showing at the bottom of the screen.  Not only do most items have a description when you look at them, but often, different descriptions when either Wayne or Garth is looking at the item.

Wayne has control...

...and now Garth does.

The icons on the bottom of the screen are mostly obvious, the first one swapping which character you are in control of.  I never really noticed any puzzle yet where my choice of player mattered, but after the first few, I gave up and just let Wayne do most of the talking.  There was one puzzle in particular that I restored and tried with Garth, just to test, and the game took over and had Wayne handle it.  I’ll mention it when I get there.

At the end of the last post, I mentioned the list that Wayne and Garth were brainstorming.  It’s an inventory item in Wayne’s collection, and if you look at it, he commends himself on his organizational skills.  But there’s another icon choice, the “extreme close-up”, which is a reference to something in the skit and movie where the camera rapidly zooms in and then back out on a subject.  In the game, it’s used to closely examine an item.  It’s only been available to me a few times in this session, the other times Wayne dismisses me.  But we can read the list.  As we complete some items, they’ll get crossed off the list.

So, we have a clear-cut list of puzzles to solve, but no real hint on how to start.  So, I’ll start by looking around the room, and there’s a laundry basket, a guitar, and a hockey stick I can take, so I do.  

Flashback to PQ3’s tracking device

One thing the game is missing is a walk icon.  So we leave, by clicking USE on the stairs.  That’s not a good design choice.  Leaving the basement brings us to a map.  If you explore around with the mouse cursor, there’s different regions, and when you click on one of them, it zooms in to show your choices there.  There’s a double-digit number of places to go, so let’s see what pops up.

It really DOES suck.

First stop is Inventions ‘R Us, which I suppose is a science lab for hire?  They don’t really specify.  Just inside the door is the Suck Cut™, a throwback to the movie the game is based on, which if Garth looks at, he says, “A Suck Cut™!  Keep that thing away from me!”  If Wayne looks at it, he just says, “It’s just one of those Suck Cut™ machines.”

I nabbed that, and then looked around at the robot (“I don’t think he bought that at Kmart”) and the, um, creature next to it (labeled “?????”), and the computer screens and even the mice cages.  The file cabinets are locked, and I can’t use the computers. There’s an electrical outlet, too (Wayne: “That’s where the electricity comes from.”  Garth: “I got my tongue stuck in one of those once.”)  Looking at the projector screen, Garth reminisces back to his tween years: “I wonder if he has that school classic ‘You and your Body’”).

At this point, I should have explored further, but I didn’t.  Because I discovered one of the great flaws in the game.  See, there’s a menu button on the bottom of the screen, click that, and you have options such as turning sound on/off, saving a game, and even quitting back to DOS.  If you do that, it asks you the standard, “Are you sure?” message with a Yes or No prompt.

But... if you accidentally brush against the letter Q on the keyboard during game play, it rush-quits you to DOS.  No prompt, no warning.

I have many four-letter words in mind right now.  I didn’t have a recent save, so I had to start over.  And I did things in a different order.  So, for the rest of this post, I’ve moved stuff around to tell the story better, even though I did some of it in a different order.

Why does this game have to be so complicated?

In my new travels, I find a convenience store.  The clerk behind the counter looks just like 2002’s Avril Lavigne.  There’s some candy for sale, some 2-day old hot dogs, and scratch-off lottery tickets.  Wayne has $5, and I don’t know if I should spend this money now (or if it will put me in a dead man-walking situation) but I take the gamble.  

Actually, that was a nice touch.

I scratch off the ticket with the mouse, and win a Sugar Munch Candy bar.  Somehow, I suspect it’s not as tasty as the licorice that movie Garth prefers.  I talk with the clerk some more, but it seems that’s all there is to do here right now, so more exploration.

It seems Capstone really likes their restaurant scenes.

Off to Stan Mikita’s Donuts.  Sadly, they didn’t use the name from the movie, instead just calling it Donut Shoppe.  I suspect it was a rights issue, since Stan was a real-life hockey player they named the fake restaurant after.  (A couple of decades later, though, they would open up a pop-up donut shop for the NHL All-Star weekend just a year before he passed.)

Inside, there’s a biker gang, a couple of cute girls at a table, and a waitress.  (This is 1993.  We weren’t calling them servers yet.)  Looking around, there are many different seating areas, set up almost like cliques in high school.  (Here’s where the newbies sit, here’s where the regulars dine, this is the Twilight Zone, or geek territory. Garth says some of his friends like to sit there).

Talking to the biker gang gets us nowhere, they laugh off everything we try to say, wanting to get them to volunteer for the pizza-thon.  I suspect we’ll need to win them over somehow.  The boys dismiss the idea of talking to the girls, because they have more important business to handle.  

At the counter is Irma, who has worked there “forever”, here at the home of the day-old ‘rawhide’ donuts.  She tries to get us to buy a fresh donut for $1, but Wayne balks at the price.  “I never pay more than a quarter for a donut.”

It’s been a while since a quarter was a reasonable price for a donut.

Flirting with Irma doesn’t solve the problem (“Why don’t you ask my husband?  He’s in the kitchen.”) I try otherwise to sweet-talk her into a deal, both as Wayne and Garth, but no luck.  I don’t feel like spending any more of Wayne’s money yet, but I’ll try to remember it for later.  She does offer Garth a box of stale donuts at a sale price, 36 for $10, but since we’re not that rich, I pass.

What is it with Aurora businesses offering stale, day-old treats for sale?

The Blues Brothers did this scene better.

Looking around at City Hall, Wayne tells me that he sometimes gets his pizza money from the fountain, but the game doesn’t let me pick up any now.  (Hmm, I didn’t think to try the Suck Cut™ there, that’s a thought for next time.)  So, we go inside the building, where I emerge from an elevator into a corridor with a couple of locked doors.  I try silly things (like using Garth’s drumstick as a lockpick) but nothing yet.  I’ll keep this in the back of my mind and come back another time.

When there’s only one candidate, there’s only one choice.

Another stop as I randomly explore is Mayor Buckley’s house.  “Hi Wayne, hello Garth...  You’d better not come in.  I think I’ve caught a summer flu bug.”  We try to figure out the mess with the budget, and when we tell him our plans to host the pizza-thon, he doesn’t try to shut us down.  “That would work, I really don’t know of any other way.”  He then says that the budget is in shambles, and rushes off to work on it.

In his bathrobe?  Hmmm.  I wonder if we’ll be blackmailing him somehow later.

Synchronize swatches.

I happened upon Mondo Video... 

He’s not quite ready for prime time.

...or at least a pale imitation. Eugene’s “Make-a-Video Emporium” has equipment for rent and videos for sale.  There’s a guy at the door who looks like a bouncer, so I talk with him.  Not a bouncer, but instead an inspiring magician (Slobotski, magician extraordinaire) who feels his act is missing that special something.  He doesn’t know what it is, but he says he’s not good enough to appear in public.  So, I suspect that we need to help him with this somehow to cross magician off of our list.

Looking around the room, we see different sections of videos, like the comedy section or the “Freddy Kills Everyone Except the Babe” section.  Behind the counter, we talked to the clerk about lending us video equipment.  No go, he won’t even take promotional time on the pizza-thon because he gets all the advertising he needs.  But for $20/hour, we can rent the stuff.

There’s another dialog choice, for a puzzle I didn’t know I needed to solve yet.  Bad game design.  Ugh.

“Will you consider letting Cassandra out of her contract?”  where he responds the same, asking what he gets out of it.  This is the first I’ve heard of Cassandra or a contract in this game, and at first I thought it was a throwback to the movie, but I later found out there are plot considerations.

So, let’s look around some more.

Overseas readers:  I strongly suspect this is meant primarily as a reference to the American word “bum”, meaning a vagrant or transient, and not the Euro-centric word, referring to someone’s derriere.  Although both would be appropriate here.

I found Gilligan’s Groceries, and when I try to go in, I’m told “I think we should stay out here” but with no reason given.  So I look around back and find an entrance to the warehouse in so far the only screen that scrolls, if only just a little.  “That must be where he keeps the spare munchies.”

In the warehouse are some shelves of munchies that I cannot use or take (Wayne isn’t into shoplifting), some locked lockers, and a clock on the wall that is basically nailed down, so I can’t take it.  So, nothing I can do here right now.

There’s a board game that could help.

Back at the invention center, there’s a lever at the mice cages, which I tried to pull, which brought out the mad scientist that runs the place.  He yells at me not to touch anything, which brings out the inner rebel in me that now wants to touch everything.  Especially because I’m playing an adventure game.

He needs to go prepare for his television show (which we’ll learn about later) where he’ll be introducing his newest invention, a robotic handyman.

Roomba’s great-grandmother.

Wait, didn’t I JUST play an adventure game with one of those?  Is this 1993 or the future of 1962?

Another Indiana Jones-esque puzzle?  I have Wayne talk to Garth, and he agrees to distract the good doctor, by showing off some tricks he can do with his tongue.  The game moves Wayne back over by the cages and the lever.  So, while the doctor is distracted by the linguistically-gifted Garth, I yank the lever, which releases the mice all over the place.

The doctor is really pissed off, and leaves to go to the store to get some cheese.  I just left there, but I don’t feel like following him yet.  There’s more to explore.  Like, say, behind that projector screen.  I pull the cord, and it retracts up.  There’s a safe behind it, that opens right up and gives me a remote control.

He’s a stand-up philosopher.

At the unemployment office, the only man we can talk to is a part-time comedian, part-time lawyer.  He’s sitting next to a skeleton that’s been waiting there an extra long time.  Just like Guybrush’s parents at Disney World.

Wow, does this seem like someone I might POSSIBLY need to befriend to win this game.  You think?

His style of comedy?  Dan Quayle impersonator.  Really, these games are becoming a history lesson for our younger and overseas readers.  He says there’s not much demand for what he does anymore.  

So, we’ll come back later when we have something for him.  I suspect we’ll be needing him for something contract-related.

Protesters: “TWO, FOUR, SIX, EIGHT!  SUBMIT! CONFORM!  IT’S NOT TOO LATE!”

The community access station office downstairs is here.  (“Anything good on TV this week?” “Only Wayne’s World”)  This seems like the likely place to get TV air time for the pizza-thon.  There’s a 3-hour slot in a couple of days (which, if my calculations are correct, would make it just prior to the deadline) but it’s taken up by Dr. Gadget to show off his latest invention.

I think I know who that is and what that invention is.  The only question is how to negotiate with him for it.

Nothing else urgent I can see in the office at this time, so let’s explore some more.

They did write her to match the movie personality.

Let’s go to Cassandra’s place.

Talking with her, we find out that she would love to be our musical act, but she’s locked into a contract with Eugene.

Wait, I knew that.  Because Eugene already told me.  Without context.  Thanks, Capstone.  But at least I think I know how to handle this.

Also, this was the scene I said I tried as both Wayne and Garth, but when I entered the room with Garth in control, the game ignored that and had Wayne take over.

But enough of that, let's go a few blocks away to the ad agency.  Why?  Because it’s somewhere I haven’t been yet.

It’s an ad that speaks for itself.

They seem to have misplaced their company mascot, a mouse.  So, the office is all depressed and won’t work until he’s back.  Sadly, that’s the way many offices work, easily distracted and unwilling to work as required.

They refuse to talk to me, but the boss hands me a stack of business cards.  I suspect I need to find that rodent in order to get advertising.  Maybe there’s a chance the lab rats are related?  Damn, I should have caught one of them somehow.

Right now, I’m getting hungry.  For something with cheese.

It’s-a me, Mario

Let’s go to Pepe Roni’s Pizzeria.  Okay, that name is kind of cute, I suppose.  Well, it’s a pizzeria and it looks like it has a performing stage, so I’m thinking this is the right place to have a pizza-thon.  But Pepe shuts me down.  What about him making money?  He couldn’t shut down for that.  But he also gets sidetracked and tells us about how much he misses his hometown of Roma, Italy.

For attention to detail, if Wayne looks at one of the candles on the table, “It kind of reminds me of Madonna... HOT!”  What the hot musician is doing on those tablecloths, though, I don’t know.  “The fake plastic tablecloth is coated with pizza grease.”  Looking at the exit door, we find it “stained from millions of greasy fingers.”

But away we go, to a television station.  Not our own, I guess, but another one.

Protesters: “Television has got to go.  Why?  Because we told you so.”

Looking around the outside, I see some dark windows.  I’m curious.  Since they’ve borrowed some good things from LucasFilm Games, let’s try something from The Last Crusade.  Yep, the window opens.

Who knew reviewer Alex was a star of this game?  (Just kidding.  Please don’t sue me.)

A prop room for the studio.  And what isn’t nailed down?  A magician’s cape and a top hat. 

Huh.  I think I solved another puzzle, but let’s just finish exploring the studio first, shall we?

The door in the back is locked, so I leave back out the window and then use the front door of the studio to go inside.  I find a very large waiting room, complete with an attractive receptionist who won’t give us the time of day, and a shelf of trophies filled with “more shiny plastic than in Madonna’s bra.”  

Are you noticing a theme with Wayne yet?  (Don’t worry, he was like that on SNL and the movie too.)

There’s a schedule of TV show tapings on one of those letterboard signs, marked as open or closed, which I suppose is about the doors to the audience.  Two are open, a game show Name That Babe hosted by Bink Nightingale, and Professor Von Ludwig’s Build it Yourself show.  Is that what the mad doctor was referring to, or the closed Science World show?  Or somewhere else, because Wayne asks the receptionist about where Dr. Gadget is going to film his show, but she doesn’t recognize the name.

For those outside the US, there’s a reason games like Larry 2 and this one, among others, parody the names of the hosts in this way.  There was a famous game show host named Wink Martindale who hosted many prolific shows over his 40+ year career.

Around the room are a few doors.  On the left is the locked-up prop room, and on the right are a couple of studios.  The rear door is locked, but I can access the one closest to me.

That’s something new for a game show.

We join the audience for Name That Babe, but the audience feels a little underwhelming.  After listening to Bink do his opening, the contestants are introduced, and then:

“Let’s give a warm welcome to our other contestant, who has his own TV show on Public Access, say hello to WAYNE CAMPBELL!!  Good luck, Wayne!”

In case you’ve forgotten, this gimmick has been used in Larry 2, Larry 6, Les Manley 2, and how many other games starting with “L”?

Answer: The Judds.

So, it’s a Jeopardy-style quiz show that is somewhat educational and respectful to the female answers.  But you have to participate in the whole damn thing.  25 questions!  As long as you get at least a couple of points on the board, it will end up being a success, because of the way the Final Jeopardy round is handled.  Get it right, your points double.  Get it wrong, you go bankrupt.  

Predictably, the other two contestants get the question wrong.  “Which American music artist had a video which featured a dancer with an unusually peculiar ‘unit’”

I wonder which one is correct?

The dialog tree lets me choose from 4 different options.  I think really, really hard, and make the right choice, winning me an all-expenses paid trip to Rome, Italy.

Yeah, I think I know EXACTLY what do do with that.

Back to Pepe, and we give him the ticket.  He is grateful, and asks us to watch over the store while he goes on vacation, and even gives us his lucky sausage as a thank you, and also because “Da manager musta smell like-a pizza.”

Yes, he has a very thick accent.

Now that we have our location, I think I can nail down our magician next.

The cape makes the man.

I give the bouncer/magician the caper and top hat.  “Wow, I owe you guys!  What can I do for you?”

I didn’t actually realize that one of the dialog choices with Slobotski before was a hint of sorts.  I could ask him to “pull a rabbit out of your... ear” and the hesitation there was because he didn’t have a hat.  Now, since he has a hat, the dialog choice has changed.

I didn’t say it was a great hint, but again, I’m mildly impressed with some of the choices in this game.  It’s not at the Sierra/LucasArts level, but so far, certainly above the Accolade (Les Manley) level.

He now has loads of confidence. “Sure, easy... or I can pull a donkey out of your ear, or monkeys out of your butt.  I can do anything.  I am... THE GREAT SLOBOTSKI!”

I walk over and talk to Eugene again, and ask about the loan of equipment.  He says he;ll show up and do it himself if I do two things.  First, get Cassandra’s contracts rewritten to clear up the problems, and second, get the magician hanging out in his store signed up.  Well, I already took care of the second, so I think I know how to handle the first.

I go back to the unemployment office, and ask the lawyer to help.  He has two demands.  First, some paper to write on, but those business cards do the trick.  Second, he wants to be in the pizza-thon.

Well done, Garth.

So, let’s pause for now.  This is a longer post than I expected, but for the amount of time I expected to play.  Well, not including the backtracking (thanks, Q button).  But the screenshot above made me smile.  I went back to Cassandra’s to tell her about the contract, but she was already gone (and crossed off on the list).  So I looked around, tried to take her mirror (no go, either character) and then had both characters look at the bed.  That was Garth’s reaction.

Livin’ on a prayer

But wait, we’re halfway done?!?

Session Time: 1 hour 30 Minutes

Total Time: 1 hour 40 minutes

Wayne’s Inventory:  $4, hockey stick, final contract, lucky sausage, guitar, to-do list, laundry basket, Suck Cut™, candy bar, remote control

Garth’s Inventory:  Drumstick

Note Regarding Spoilers and Companion Assist Points: There’s a set of rules regarding spoilers and companion assist points. Please read it here before making any comments that could be considered a spoiler in any way. The short of it is that no points will be given for hints or spoilers given in advance of me requiring one. Please...try not to spoil any part of the game for me...unless I really obviously need the help...or I specifically request assistance. In this instance, I've not made any requests for assistance. Thanks!