Blue Force – WON!

by Alex

Adventure games, as with any sort of storytelling, consist of a series of promises. In a narrative that at least attempts to be coherent, you have a setup, whereby you promise your readers/viewers/players that something will happen, and then you have a payoff, where you keep that promise. This is a reduction of storytelling into two broad parts, but the setup/payoff combination comes into play many times during the course of a given narrative.

Generally speaking, audiences are forgiving up to a point. Fool them once, okay that can slide. But anything more than that and you’re in dangerous territory where you will leave the player, as the case may be with Blue Force, with a serious case of blue balls expectations.

In the first comment to my last Blue Force post, which was published last year, esteemed adventure game designer and all-around cool guy Corey Cole began by stating “This is actually starting to sound like a complex, multi-layered story . . .”Imma stop you right there, Corey. No, it is not. Blue Force is all about setup with little to no payoff. A twist ending that you see coming a mile away. A fireworks display that fizzles out like so much flatus in the breeze. It is a story that promises something bigger but feels so small despite the attempt to make you feel the weight of the stakes at hand. Even the fact that you get to throw a live grenade in a dude’s face can’t generate any excitement.

Catch, ya filthy animal.

Instead of busting up international arms smuggling, the denouement consists of a villain telegraphed with the subtly of a sledgehammer to the forehead, a “mastermind” whose plans and motivations can be summed up as “reasons,” and a lot of time spent futzing around with extension cords and a fuse box.

I’m not kidding.

Romantic relationships go nowhere. Resolutions are absent. The final “assault” on the bad guys’ compound is memorable only for the fact that you get to throw a live grenade in somebody’s face (did I say that already?), and the ending is so unsatisfying that M. Night Shyamalan uses this game as an example of how not to end a story.

This entire romance subplot is never mentioned again.

I mean, the ATF is involved, and they don’t even shoot anybody’s dog . . . and there IS a dog in the endgame! Once again, the payoffs are subverted.

If you’re ATF, and you don’t shoot at least three dogs per year, they kick you off the force. True fact.

As an aside, Blue Force: The Movie, directed by M. Night Shyamalan would be awesome. Bet he’d have the ATF shoot a dog . . .

If it sounds like I’m spoiling this post before it even starts, it’s because I am. I want to manage expectations so you don’t go into this anticipating something really cool, novel, or unique out of Blue Force. That wouldn’t be fair. I’m trying to set you, dear reader, up for a payoff that won’t sound cheap or gratuitous. Because I think we can take a great lesson out of Blue Force we perhaps haven’t seen too often here on The Adventurers’ Guild: this game commits the cardinal sin of any art.

It is bland. Perhaps the most interesting, unexpected, and unique thing about Blue Force is a white guy named Tyrone.

I think this is Tyrone. Or maybe it’s Frank. They’re just so darn memorable, I can’t tell them apart.

You thought I was going to say the grenade thing again, didn’t you? More grenades would’ve helped, but even that scene has sort of a cursory, tossed-off quality to it. Not enough bang for your buck, you follow?

Even throwing that live grenade in that dude’s face is kind of “Eh, whatever, here ya go.”

I know I was enthusiastic about this game in my last few posts, but this end game really soured me. I think it was because the set up was generally well done that the pay off annoyed me to the point where I fear this post will sound bitter and resentful. Alas, like a spurned lover, I am compelled to carry on, giving my reasons why things were just not meant to be between Blue Force and me.

We last left off where Jake Ryan, fresh off of finding evidence that (yawn) his parents’ killer (boring) is involved in this case (zzzz), was about to head to Marble Head Island himself to figure out something about the armory robbery or whatever.

They should’ve called this game Marina Quest because like 75 percent of it takes place here.

Jake got a book of coupons for boat rentals from somewhere I don’t care to look up, so here we are, back at Carter’s Marina where a relatively interesting puzzle presents itself, albeit one that isn’t set up very well.

See, we found Jake’s dad’s nickel in the safe back at Grannie’s house, and we saw from our first trip to Mr. Carter’s that he’s into old coins. It seemed like a non sequitur at the time, but now, when we’re presented with a rack of keys and told to take only the rental key . . .

. . . but we also see the key to the Future Wave . . .

. . . we have to distract kindly old Mr. Carter somehow so we can snag both sets of keys.

This is where the nickel comes into play. You give it to Mr. Carter and he heads in the back to find the price guide, leaving Jake free to snag the extra set of keys.

Wow! You could buy a better adventure game with that nickel!

However, this puzzle was not set up very well because the nickel could be found well in advance of being able to use it, making it seem disconnected from any sort of natural progression. Why would Jake carry the old nickel around if he didn’t know he’d need it? I understand this is an adventure game, but it’s a police procedural set in the modern times (1994 might as well be 2023, just minus cell phones). You expect a certain modicum of realism. It’s not King’s Quest where you buy some weirdo in a pointy feathered hat cramming clovers and chestnuts and buckets and cheese into his pockets because he just might need them someday. We give fantasy, and even sci-fi, a bit more leeway than we do games that try to hew closer to the real world; whether that’s fair or not I leave it up to you to decide, but this is just an observation I had while playing Blue Force. I mean, even the first two Police Quest games had much better puzzle setups than this (let’s not talk about Police Quest III; I’m still traumatized).

In any event, I do what any self-respecting private eye would do and I snoop around the Future Wave. Conveniently, nobody’s on board. I click everywhere and find a key in the soil of a potted plant.

A soiled key.

This doesn’t open anything anywhere on the boat, not even the locker on the outside (more on that later).

I’m gonna need some of what’s in this locker by the end of the post.

So off to Marble Head Island. The boat quickly takes Jake there, and we get another map screen where we can return to the Marina or go to shore.

As with land-based exploration, the cursor changes to an arrow when Jake can go somewhere, a feature that is appreciated. Going to shore takes us to an area where, similarly to finding the boat-hook in the storage locker near the Future Wave really early in the game (again, hold that thought), there’s a crate containing a fuel-soaked rag and a bottle of diesel fuel that looks to have no immediate purpose now. But it’s an adventure game, so into Jake’s pocket they go.

There’s also some lumber and an abandoned fire pit that don’t serve any discernable purpose. Up the hill and through a few screens of scrolling vegetation, we start to hear a dog barking. Clearly, the ATF has not been here already. At the end of the path, there is a nasty looking canine behind a locked gate guarding the entrance to a warehouse.

The key from the potted plant in the Future Wave opens the gate, but predicably the dog, not understanding English, doesn’t run in fear when I yell “Freeze! I’m with the ATF!” at my computer screen, so there goes Jake’s jugular.

Gross!

The game doesn’t even let me pretend to be ATF and use Jake’s gun to shoot the dog, or at least scare it. Clearly, I need something else to get past this mutt.

You know what the solution is, huh? Well, do you? It’s a microscopically small fishing net on the little raft outside of Mr. Carter’s office. So this puzzle I figured out on my own, but not the next one.

You can kind of see Jake bending down to pick it up here.

You chuck the net on the dog and then open the gate and the door to the warehouse, both with the same key. Seems odd to me to have one key for both doors, and then to hide it in a potted plant, but then again, what do I know about the ways of illegal arms smuggling (as opposed to the legal kind, which me and Oliver North could tell you a thing or three about).

I’m showing my age here with this reference.

Inside the darkened warehouse we encounter a puzzle that is both pedestrian and annoying. First, you have to mosey on over to the fuse box in the upper-left corner and turn on the lights; otherwise, Jake can’t do much of anything.

Much better. Jake also discovers a secret panel with a hidden switch and by clicking around on the fuse-box. I flip a bunch of switches, but nothing happens, except when I turn the lights back off, I get some points. I file this away, as it means turning off the lights is something I’m supposed to do.

There’s a forklift you can’t do anything with, some insulation, a generator, and a can of paint atop a pile of lumber. On the wall hang a saw, a shovel, a yellow extension cord, and a hose. Against the far wall is a blue barrel of fuel, a generator, and some insulation. This has become Home Improvement: The Game, and I’m again showing my age with these super-timely references. What’s next? Name-checking Ralph Kramden?

“To the moon, Alex.”

I’ll tell you why this puzzle annoyed me. Here are the steps:

• Pick up the yellow extension cord
• Turn on the generator
• Connect one end of the yellow extension cord to the generator
• Connect the other end of the yellow extension cord to the fuse box

You can see the two outlets in the lower-right secret panel.

Nothing happens. I fart around for a while. I fantasize about playing a different game. I click every object on every other object. I do that classic adventure game thing and go back to the mainland to check all other locations only to come up empty.

I do learn that this lady has been leading me on the whole time.

I’m glad one of us is having fun here, Jimbo.

Here’s where I got antsy to just finish this game and consulted a walkthrough. It turns out you have to pick up the black extension cord from the forklift—something I did not find despite clicking the “Eye” icon all over this place—because you have to be in a really particular spot.

Oh okay

This cord also plugs into the generator and the fuse box, opening up a secret wall in the upper-right of the warehouse.

I click around like mad until I find the one crate—indeed, the one object—I can interact with, and find a bevvy of automatic weapons.

All the better to shoot dogs with!

Remember that?

Honestly, the dog was enough.

The bit about covering tracks is a clue, and this is honestly a pretty good puzzle, unlike the other one, which is just a click-fest with little-to-no actual thinking required. After taking a gun as evidence, I made sure to put everything back as it was—cover the crate, close the wall, turn off the generator, return the extension cords, turn the lights back off, close the secret panel, close the fuse box, lock the warehouse door, lock the gate, shoot the dog use the fish hook to get the net off the dog—

Wait, what? That’s right—the fish hook that any savvy player would find on day one of this game finally gets used. I guess having it right near the Future Wave allows players to get it now if they missed it then so they can cover their tracks before going back to Lyle with the gun, but it just seems a little ridiculous that the means of getting the net off the dog couldn’t be found later on in the game, or elsewhere.

Not having any desire to really explore this game further, I didn’t bother to see what happened if Jake doesn’t cover his tracks. And I’m glad I didn’t, because you can put the game in an unwinnable state if you save your games carelessly. See, if you don’t put everything back just so, when Lyle and Jake return the next day, the place has been cleared out.

Instead, I head back to Lyle’s office and let him know we’ve got what the ATF is looking for.

“Just tell them there’s a dog there, Lyle!”

Nah, just kidding. The automatic weapon is enough.

Lyle tells Jake to meet him at the Marina the next day for a final assault on the island. Marina Quest continues. Maybe this should’ve been called Boat Simulator since so much action takes place in the nautical realm. It’s like Miami Vice minus the cool. And no Frank Zappa as a villain either.

PROTIP: You can make whatever it is you’re doing exponentially cooler by adding Frank Zappa to it.

Back at the Marina, Jake once again gets keys to the rental boat again with his seemingly endless supply of rental vouchers, and then Lyle appears. I can’t get the Future Wave keys even though I’d like to check out the boat again, because the nickel is inexplicably removed from Jake’s inventory—I guess he put it back overnight? I didn’t take a screenshot to confirm if the boat is there now or not, but as you’ll see it doesn’t matter.

“They said they were practicing for a major operation, Jake.”

I would like to take this time to point out that I have no bone to pick with the ATF; it’s just that their presence in this game made me go looking for ATF jokes, and for some reason I find these “ATF dog memes” funny. Your mileage may vary.

When Jake and Lyle take the boat for a spin, uh-oh . . . it’s the Future Wave! I smell danger! And annoying puzzles!

On the boat, our old friend Bradford Green is holed up inside, and he won’t come out. I figure out that Jake can climb a ladder to the exhaust pipe—something I don’t recall being able to do in my 43 other excursions to this stupid boat—and I shove the diesel-soaked rag and the bottle of fuel down there, hoping to smoke Green out.

The thing is, I can’t ignite the stuff, and shooting doesn’t work. I also can’t open the aforementioned locker on the side of the boat. So I go back to the island to see if there’s anything helpful there. You know, like a lighter . . . matches . . . a different game . . .

The fact that you can go back to the island at this point is actually good puzzle design, because if for whatever reason you didn’t pick up the rag and the fuel, now’s your chance. But if you try going further up the path, you end up in a shootout you just can’t win.

Nice try, Jake, but you’re fighting a man, not a dog.

You can empty both clips and you’ll never hit this clown. I am very annoyed at this point, so I shamefully consult a walkthrough and figure out that, yes, my solution does lie inside of the locker on the Future Wave. Once again, my instincts were right, but the solution is obnoxious.

My guitar wants to kill this game.

Y’see that pouch on the back of the seat? See it? That’s where you were supposed to click. This is lazy puzzle design. It’s not Roberta Williams-level insane; it’s just “we’re sick of trying.” Which is fair, because at this point I got sick of playing this game.

I know which one I want more at this point.

In goes the flare. Here comes the smoke. Out comes Green, with a live grenade in his hand. Whoa baby, things escalated quickly!

I chose violence, and sadly violence wasn’t the proper solution to this problem.

Nope. You just . . . click your handcuffs on him.

Boring.

Once again, you just talk the clearly unbalanced and highly violent Green off the ledge and he acquiesces with a shrug. You know, somehow this game just feels small. Small stakes. Small danger. Every time I really want it to lean into its cheesy cop-movie tropes, it pulls back in an unsatisfying way. There’s a dirty joke in there somewhere I am not going to make because this is a family blog and I’m classy like that.

Jake takes the live grenade and then cuffs Green to the boat. Remember this for the game’s final puzzle.

Off to the island we go, ready to throw some grenades and take names.

And I’m outta grenades!

Somehow, the gunman isn’t turned into hamburger. Searching his body produces . . . a dog whistle. What happened to the net? Knowing that he’d be coming back to the island, wouldn’t Jake have kept the net that let him get past the vicious, man-eating dog? Or was he banking on the ATF having already gotten there first? The world may never know.

Lyle takes care of a bad guy off screen, you click the whistle on the dog to get it to go away, unlock the gate and the door, etc. and so on . . .

Here we are! The final showdown! There’s a shadow of someone moving visible in the back room, and if you try to go there, you get your brains blown out. I shut the lights, but that also gets my brains blown out.

What you have to do is go back to the fuse box, click on the switch in the secret panel to close the secret door, and then kill the lights and open the door again. This lets Lyle get the jump on the mystery guy when he comes to check out the disturbance.

In a twist that surprises no one, it’s Nico, aka Mean Mr. Mullet from the game’s intro, the guy who (yawn) shot Jake’s parents.

He’s also grown a sweet ‘stache since then. Are we sure he’s the villain and not just the bass player in a Lynyrd Skynyrd tribute band?

And this bigger fish is, drumroll please, Mr. Stuart (or was it Stewart?) Cox, the corrupt District Attorney. I’m blindsided by the epic reveals going on here.

Me neither, Nico.

Cox, aka U.S. Senator Lindsey Graham, is very confident he’ll get away with his scheme.

Oh really? So do I, and they’re called bullets!

Yes, I blew them both away and you’ll be shocked to discover that’s not the solution. No, the real solution is much more exciting: you talk to both guys until they have nothing else to say, you close the door and take the yellow extension cord to tie them up—not the black one, which doesn’t work, silly—because you used your only pair of handcuffs to secure Green (hey, why the hell doesn’t Lyle have any handcuffs), and then make sure you search Nico to find his gun before the ATF comes to save the day.

“I mean, you didn’t shoot any dogs, but good work, I I . . .”

And that’s a wrap. That’s it. Grenade-tossing shenanigans aside, what a weak, anticlimactic, and disappointing ending. No assault on the Demon Wizard’s tower a la Quest for Glory III. No dramatic showdown a la Freddie Pharkas. No grand rescue/epic denouement a la Conquests of the Longbow. Not even a shootout like the first two Police Quest games. In fact, this reminds me of Police Quest III’s end game, where silly stuff happens with silly solutions to silly puzzles until the game is over and you go “Wha . . .?”

There’s an ending where our three baddies get sent to Federal prison. Their sentences are given and then it’s game over, roll credits over that weird close up of a dude’s head. I don’t get it.

Nico

Green

Cox

This guy.

My enduring memories of Blue Force are boats and extension cords.

Final rating next post.

Session Time: 1 hour and 30 minutes
Total Time: 3 hours and 30 minutes

Score: I don’t know.

Inventory: Boat coupons and extension cords, probably. Who cares?
Arrests: I lost count because I didn’t care.