Missed Classic: Personal Nightmare - Mail Quest

Written by Morpheus Kitami

Once again I apologize for the delay between entries. There is a lot of tedium in this game. One might say this is the flaw in playing old games, but often whenever I end up playing modern games I'm not working past tedium to get to the good parts, the game itself is just tedious. So I often put a bit of breaks between...well, you can figure out why pretty quickly.

There was nothing special about the month, I just happened to accidentally start it the same month that it mentions.

So I decided to stake out some places, figure out when and where people arrive and leave their locations. With one house with an unknown occupant, I decided that would be where I began. As I walked out onto the street, I noticed a car driving by and had a better thought. Stake out the mechanic!

You can't really interact with people moving around,

Hmm, Susan walked by sometime in the early hours of the morning. I'll have to figure out why. The car drives by at about 9, as expected, but he doesn't stop, so he must have just thrown the license into the trash from the street. I know that the license plate wasn't there all morning until he arrived. It's possible that the mechanic put it in the trash, but I don't care enough to check that. So that's a wash, and does nothing for me. Guess I better look outside that house now.

I can interact with the roses and wall here, but if there's a reason to, I haven't figured it out yet.

Interestingly, I can knock on the door, and by looking in the letterbox (or windows) I can tell someone is inside, but neither of these two events seem to do much. Well, once I have the key I can always look inside before entering, so I won't get burned alive/arrested. At some point, Susan walks out of the building. Why, it seems like Susan just walked out of a stranger's house on the day her husband was murdered! Whatever could it mean? Eventually, a man walks out, Michael Williams, the man from the city. I didn't know that at the time and assumed because of the sprite that it was a woman.

This sentence feels like a "if you know what I mean" should be added afterwards.

It's at this point that I'm curious as to how the vampire attacks at night, since I basically went from, hey, there's a vampire to dead vampire. So I wait around for nighttime. Oh, look, someone new in the bar: Michael Williams, the man from the city. He doesn't have much to say, about his job or the city, but he does tell me that Susan got over the death of her husband real fast. The game points out he's pale, but I'm not sure that means anything.

After all that the vampire just grabs you, no animations or anything. Bleh.

Well, what's he going to do about it? Run me through with his pitchfork? This is Britain, you can't do that!

Right, well, now what? It doesn't occur to me to actually do what I was trying to do, which is stake out people's locations on day 2. So I just randomly wander around the area, and find myself back at the burnt down mansion. Hey, a fence! I didn't notice that before...one of the stakes is loose. Oh...yeah!

Unless his master is someone on earth...uh oh...

I return at night, taking the stake, and it's time to say good night, doggie. I get plenty of time to prepare myself to stake the dog. Yeah, that's a job well done. Don't know how I know he's a servant of satan, but whatever, he's dead, one problem solved! Now, what's inside the mansion? Oh, I can go somewhere to the west first!

And it's just a closed mausoleum. I guess the place I previously called a mausoleum is actually a crypt. I can't open it, I guess I'll have to find something to open it with. Now, the mansion!

I wonder if the banister is important?

Oh, come on! Great, gotta find a ladder or something. This game is doing a really good job of pretending to allow me to solve puzzles before ever so cruelly throwing another obstacle in my way.

We would show you that, but it would cost another 12kb.

It still doesn't occur to me to stake anyone out on day 2, but I instead think that because I took out the dog with something from that area, I can do the same at the church. Well, there's nothing anywhere, but I notice a lot of the descriptions imply that the church is no longer holy ground, and that a horseshoe on the altar is part of it. Well, I admit I don't know anything about why that is. Anyway, while checking the desk I assume that it isn't actually locked, just stuck and I have to hit it or something. As my own might does nothing, I figure that sledgehammer is a good tool...and it smashes it, revealing the key to the parish house. That is, the house in the graveyard.

I know there's the reasoning of being able to actually discover this, but couldn't he at least pick the a brown shade?

Just walked on in. Hmm, that is some suspicious plaster, and I have a hammer. Let's see...

In my defense, that mouth doesn't really scream terror, instead screaming a biting motion.

Oh, Jesus Christ, I just let out a vampire. Again.

...Wait, I'm not dead, and she's actually dead. You must forgive me for not recognizing that. She seems a bit similar to the lady vampire in Elvira. I feel like maybe I should do something here, but I can't yet. I hit the wall again, and I see a crucifix. Hmm, this is making me suspicious. Why did my father put her in here? I wonder if I should stake her or something. I take the crucifix and wear it, assuming that even offers protection.

She just looks so uncomfortable here, and that's before I have to start cutting.

I throw caution to the wind and hammer the wall again, revealing a prayer book in her hands. Well, she's still not moving, so I think its safe. I take the book...only I can't, her fingers are gripping it tightly. Oh...yeugh...I know what the secateurs are for. I guess now I have the lord's prayer. I really need it now because I feel dirty. Sorry I had to desecrate your corpse, but Satan is around and I need it more now.

Rereading the manual to find out what Michael's last name was, I realize that its my father who did this, as he mentions remodeling part of the house just a day before my visit, which is why I'm at the inn. And that my mother went to visit her sister, Alice, in another town. Uh...well, this lady is a bit too young to be my mother. I wonder if that reference to another Alice is intentional or if it is a lie?

The rest of the house doesn't seem to have much in it. In the living room a book tells me of how in the past, an evil lord of the mansion was killed with a holy axe and holy water. Subtle hint, but who's the lord of the mansion? Is it Michael? Or maybe Alice?

Just how thin is this savings book anyway?

Upstairs I find the real treasure in my old room, the biggest of them all. The game notes that I have all my old books and toys, so I start examining it. The game draws attention to a copy of Treasure Island. I open it up, and my old savings book comes out. With a whopping 20p! Wow, I might just be able to buy myself a stamp and an envelope! I hope. That's what that costs, right? I know if I had 20 cents in 1989, I probably wouldn't be able to buy both those things, but back then the pound was in stronger shape.

This statue looks awfully creepy in a way a statue shouldn't for some reason.

Still, first things first, let's deal with that angel statue. I say a prayer and the statue cries. Aha! This must be holy water! I don't have something to carry it in. The only thing I know of are the glasses at the tavern, but I suspect that won't work.

Considering I'm so poor I can't afford a stamp, I don't think that was wise.

I admit I didn't quite know how to get the money, because I did not have a savings account as a child and this didn't even occur to me until I tried to buy a stamp. I still had to try searching the savings book first. Then I had to figure out what the game wanted me to do. I first tried to show the postmistress the savings book, but I had to give it to her. I actually looked it up, because it was driving me nuts. Funny, I keep losing sight of easy solutions while more difficult puzzles are giving me less trouble.

Uh, I still don't have an envelope. I feel like its a mark against the game that the main thread driving the gameplay at the moment is my desperation to find an envelope so I can find out whatever filth a dead man has been taking pictures of.

As you can see, I'm not very fast on the draw.

Right, well, what was I doing? Ah, yes, staking out people's houses. Day 2, standing outside Susan's house. When does she arrive? When does she leave? Well, she's in the house for most of the day. Don't feel too bad for me, I spent the time listening to music. Its more annoying that I have to count the bongs of the clock rather than having any other ability to check time outside. For most of the day the most interesting thing that happens is that the guy who ran over Jimmy drove back into town, and I caught a glimpse of his face in the car. You know those stereotypical villain/spy outfits? The black trenchcoat and fedora? Yeah, that's what he wore.

And Susan is in all day. I'm glad I wasted my time, now I just have to figure out where that Michael character goes. Surely he isn't just in her house all day?

I found this randomly at around this point, and no, it doesn't do anything against anyone.

Without anything better to do, I decide to do two things, first, wait in the bar to see if Michael returns and leaves something I can search. Two things occur to me during this. The first is that I realized who the lord of the mansion is... Tony Donaldson, the probable pyromaniac and child of indeterminate age. Wow, this in a game that was sold in K-mart. The second is that I might need to get something out of the snooker table, since that also costs 20p: Personal Nightmare - The Quest for 40p.

I also wander into the kitchen at some point, and discover a key in Donaldson's pocket. I have no idea what it opens, but it doesn't open the glass case containing the soldiers.

Would someone who isn't a vampire say that?

What I find after waiting in the bar, I discover that only Peter Mason and Mr. Roberts come to the bar, so there's not much point in waiting around here for now. Mr. Roberts is probably from another town. I do discover that I have about 5 days from the start before Satan arrives and there doesn't seem to be anything preventing me from staying awake all that time. That's good, that means I can figure out Michael's path around the town without any kind of trickery

Incidentally, there is a limit on the number of letters you can type. Rather than preventing you from typing more, it just starts again at the beginning. This is the only game I've played where this is an issue and I hate it... all of one times its cropped up.

Literally crawling up from hell?

But first I think up the idea of showing people the marriage certificate. There are a couple of problems with this, firstly, I have to type out marriage certificate whenever I show it. Whenever I type in-game, more letters don't go through than would usually be so. I have to admit, I didn't think I was a fast enough typer for that to be a concern. Secondly, nobody knows anything, and they don't even acknowledge that I'm showing them something I clearly shouldn't have. If I show it to the police officer, he does express interest at Susan's maiden name, Perkins... Is that the same as the Calvin's friend from Calvin & Hobbes? No, that's Derkins. Seems funny though. He does note that he should give it to the registrar...

Now what? Well, if I stake out Michael's house I'll never know where he goes, so I guess I better stake out Susan's? Funny, it doesn't feel like I'm doing the same things over and over again pointlessly. Since I might want to explore her house again. Hmm, you know, knocking hasn't done anything useful yet...

No kidding she's gotten over him...

Oh. Uh, let's ask her Jimmy is doing... talk about a happy marriage. She doesn't have much else to say, other than insulting Mrs. Jones, calling her a dragon. She really likes Mr. Jones, but I doubt that's important... is it? If I show her the film nothing happens. If I show her the marriage certificate...nothing happens, and I do so several times to make sure I didn't misspell it. I ask about her maiden name, her last name, her birthday, July, anything relating to the aspects of her that the game has drawn my attention to. Alice, Michael, the postmistress, my father, and Mr. Roberts. I could ask her about Margaret Thatcher, greatest prime minister ever and the second coming of Jesus Christ, unparalleled in political acumen, intelligence and physical beauty, in those exact words and all she'd have to say is she doesn't know anything about that. ARGH! Right, who's left in this village? Peter Mason I guess.

"I hate Jimmy, but I hate his murderer worse, somehow."

Uh... what...? But that's...wait, what if the person in the car this morning isn't the same person as the guy in the car that ran over Jimmy? It would explain how Peter seems to be a colossal idiot if I ask him about the license plate in his bin. Peter has nothing to say about anything, because people in this small town don't talk to each other and everyone is apparently an atheist who couldn't care if the local vicar was dropping a deuce in the middle of the road. Since this is Britain, I am of course saying he was terrible at cards.

Back at Michael's place I decide to futilely try to stake out his home. Maybe I can catch him just before he leaves. There goes Susan, and there's still someone inside...

Quickdraw Morpheus grabs another vital scene!

And it's Peter. Okay...this raises many questions, of which I'm not sure I can satisfactorily answer. If this is Peter's house, why were Susan and Michael in it? And where did Michael go?

Typing random stuff to see if there's a way to check the time, didn't work.

Okay, checking Peter's house from the game's start until 7 the first day, and nobody comes in or out. I catch Mr. Roberts being driven off in a taxi, but that's just because he doesn't live in this town. Why? I dunno. I haven't seen anyone come in after 7 so this is all very strange. This is also the same car that appeared when I was doing earlier stakeouts, I just didn't notice it.

Wow, he just flattened him!

The figure who runs over Jimmy is the same, but I doubt that's supposed to be a clue, since the guy I saw later has a different image. The thing is, he doesn't appear until he starts driving towards Jimmy, and he practically disappears afterwards. I can't quite construct the events of this day just yet. But there's one last thing I have a thought about, that key in Tony's trousers, does it open the coffin?

As an aside, everyone seems to say "Its hideous, what is becoming of this village?" whenever I ask them about Peter Mason. I think the trigger for this got broken somehow, so I'm going to go ahead and say he killed Jimmy unless the game says otherwise. He does have the only place in town someone can park a car. I know the British don't care for cars, but this seems excessive.

Hmm, looks like the drain backed up again...

I can get attacked by a demon of some sort if I enter the kitchen at night. Curiously, this doesn't always activate. I can stop it by putting the plug in the sink and running some water. There's also a knife and a breadboard in here. No, Tony's key doesn't open the coffin. If I had to guess, I'd say I need this for something in the manor.

Let's recap what I need to do so far.

• I need to find an envelope. Why is this so hard? Why isn't there one at the post office? Surely the postmistress would have one!
• I probably need to find another 20p to operate the snooker table. Why? I dunno, I'll figure it out later.
• I need something I can use to enter the manor/mansion. Surely the game isn't just showing me it for giggles?
• The mausoleum next to the manor is presumably going to be opened later. I swear if that stupid key opens this stupid door...
• I need a cup.
• I have no idea what I'm going to do in Alice's house yet, but I assume that's the endgame.
• Find out if Michael is a vampire.
• Deal with the demon in the inn.
• Find a holy axe.
• What's the deal with the toy soldiers?
• Break into Peter's place of work and home.

You know, for a graphic adventure, that's a lot of stuff to do. I'm not complaining, but I am noticing that I'm not running out of things to solve. Surely things won't get much bigger than they have by now, will they? I'm also amused that despite being a vicar's son, my character is so much of a thief in this game it must be his profession.

Items of note: Secateurs, sledgehammer, pajamas, 20p, oily rag, [several, various] towel, breadboard, mirror, mop, crucifix, prayer book, marriage certificate, fruit bowl, [as expected of an English businessman] set of clothing, stake, bugle, chemicals, film, voucher, stamp, knife, gloves
This Session: 3 hours 55 minutes
Total Time: 6 hours