… It was a dark, stormy night. Wasn't it always? People in my profession never got to do things in the sun. 'Laffer', he said his name was. 'Larry Laffer'. Turns out the little pipsqueak had a 'video game contract'. It was a really confusing mess – muddled like yesterday's peat moss. He'd spent his last game trying to work out what had happened in his life to get him to where he was – he had a happy life, the job he'd dreamed of, the body of while not a Grecian God, certainly 'a fairly fit person'. 'I was looking for my game, y'know, The Lost Floppies? I was searching, and then I ended up in a little place called Los Angeles. And that's when I saw him. He was like me, only without the cool duds?' His 'duds' were cool back when my Grandma was still dating. Before the War. The First one. 'Manley. Lester Manley. Y'see, he had a game that was all about fitness babes, and that's when I got to thinking – what had I been doing for the past year?' Fitness babes sure sound like my thing, y'know? He worked at a TV station, and in my last critically acclaimed game, I did...' I really didn't want to stare at his combover any more, but he just kept going...
Sorry if I clicked through things a bit fast to read – but without the clicking the video took over five minutes.. and the music was getting to me. For some reason, DosBOX lost it. You're not missing anything. At all.
|I'm shocked we're actually playing this too, Les|
|… 'The male bodybuilders are pretty scary, too.' (They photographed people for this – were they just convinced that the girls pictured would probably never play the game?)|
|… 'So far.' Oh, Les! You're so classy! (I guess that these are the world class actors the 'making of' was talking about.)|
|I've read this publication literally nones of times. Totally a real magazine. Sold in a newspaper machine. Totally.|
|This game may have several things wrong – but I can confirm that Hulk Hogan was always billed as being from Venice Beach, California. I'd far rather play as Hulk than Les, though. Hulk Hogan: Lost in LA? Now that's a game I'd like to play|
|Those eyes will haunt me to my grave, Les. Thanks.|
|I'm fairly certain that that's how Hollywood is laid out, too. I'm amazed that the 'Giant Bus' north of Sunset and Vine isn't a bigger tourist attraction|
Wilhelm scream count: 2 (DosBOX doesn't like the fact that I'm using MT32 for music, methinks)
With what essentially comes down to the choice of Paramounds Studio or Hollywood Boulevard, I feel it right to head out to seek Rock the traffic cop. Naturally, I think he must be the one standing next to the abandoned wax museum, but this thought is evidently one generated solely in my mind. In fact, I find literally nothing to interact with in the first screen sans throwaway jokes. (Why would you go to a place to seek one person, find one that looks identical and assume that they have something to do with what surrounds? That's just crazy talk!) The next screen doesn't seem much better, though I do manage to find an interesting little tidbit which suggests that maybe Sierra tried to have a go at Accolade for Les Manley? (I do recall the image of Leisure Suit Larry literally being in the 'dream' sequence of part 1, which might well be where this 'letter' came from. Corey Cole, information please?) Across from there diagonally is Blade, a man who is standing around 'waiting for a call' – he's attempting to do so without a phone being nearby. We know he's serious, though, because he got into 'trouble for breaching computer security systems'. Edgy. (Eh? Get it? Edgy? Blade?) Across the street again (without a single car running over Lester in his attempts as he is after all omnipotent and has already died at least once with his heaven camera getting him his present job) is Murry's Hotel, where a creepy looking old man asks for cash for a room that has a phone jack (sans phone). I've located another puzzle, methinks!
|A cop! He's not this one though. (The game was off by a few years on 'T3'.)|
|The plot thickens! Actually.. no, wait. No, it doesn't!|
|Murry proudly tells us about his carpeted walls, which did at least get a chuckle..|
|And the fourth wall breaking is actually worth a small laugh|
|Exposition! (He also lets us know that the girls who work at Club Mud are college students. I'm not sure if that's a good thing..)|
|Sadly, I don't get to use it. (I have a cracked version.)|
|This would be incredibly fun.. were I playing any one of those other games. Except maybe the Mike Ditka thing.|