Game 40: Future Wars - Final Rating

I really wanted to like Future Wars, but I can't say I really did. Apart from the visuals, I don't think there's any part of the game that stands out as exceptional, so I have a feeling the PISSED rating will turn out well below where I originally expected it would. Time to find out!

Puzzles and Solvability
The puzzles were unsatisfying in Future Wars. A large proportion of them were solved by following the leads of the environment without any real motivation. To pass the monks in the Middle-Ages, I needed to disguise myself. Why should I climb a tree to achieve that? I did it of course, because that was the only thing that I could do, but there was no logical deduction required and so very little satisfaction. Want to gain entrance to an office? Put a bucket on the door above your boss’ office! Need to escape a prison cell? Use a gas canister to kill all the guards outside! I had no reason to do these things other than the fact that there was nothing else I could do. Other than this lack of motivation, the other main obstacle standing in the way of progress was the huge requirement for pixel hunting. Items and points of interest were so tiny, that it often took many sweeps over a screen for me to find them. Once again, not very satisfying! I suffered quite a few dead ends too, and picked up opportunities for many more while playing. Thankfully the majority of them became obvious fairly quickly, meaning I didn’t have to restore too far back, but clearly Delphine didn’t pay any attention to what the rest of the industry was doing around this time. Earthrise (the last game I played) had its flaws alright, but the puzzles at least made me use my brain and gave me a real sense of achievement when I solved them. Not the case here…
Rating: 3

It's a lovely spot and all, but...

Interface and Inventory
I’ll start by saying that I didn’t mind the right click – select action interface that was designed for the game. It was a little slow to use, but there were some shortcuts available and it was perfectly functional. The game’s ridiculously pedantic demands that I stand in exact spots to complete certain actions was another matter. It’s fine that the player needs to stand in front of a console if they are to use it. That’s realism that I accept. Having only one exact position that the player can stand in to close a door from is just unnecessary. It literally took me minutes to find the spot on the ground I needed to stand on when using the lance to get the habit out of the tree. The fact that in real life I would have been able to do it from pretty much any angle made it more than a little infuriating! The movement for the most part was slow and clumsy too, and while my experience was vastly improved when Sha1tan informed me that pressing the number key would allow me to use the arrow keys instead of the mouse, there’s no excuse for what I was forced to endure in the game’s “climactic” maze. With only six minutes on the clock to make it to the computer room and then to the first aid hangar, every second counted. Struggling to get my character to stop directly in front of ladders meant I was forced to save and restore my progress dozens of times to make it through what would already have been a challenging experience. The inventory was nothing more than a list and nothing was selectable. Since there was no parser, I literally had no way to look at any of my items, and regularly wanted to.
Rating: 4

I must have read "Go a little closer" over a hundred times while playing

Story and Setting
I found the premise of Future Wars to be reasonably interesting. It soon became apparent that very little of it was going to make any scientific sense, but time travel stories never really do. There were quite a few questions that came to mind that were never answered, and unlikely coincidences occurred throughout, but the biggest issue was how predictable and cliché things got once the basic premise was set. It was so very obvious that certain events were going to take place. Of course Lo’Ann was going to save me from my execution! Of course the bomb was going to be detonated 65 million years ago and wipe out the dinosaurs! I know that a lot of games have predictable plot devices, but there was something particularly telegraphed about the stuff that went on in Future Wars. I was subjected to quite a few explanatory conversations in the game, but reading over them now it becomes clear that they all cover exactly the same ground in slightly different ways. Most of it was cryptically explained in the manual before I even started. I think it was Laukku who mentioned how bland the game’s characters were and he’s absolutely right on that front too. My own character was boring and as much as I wanted to get excited about the “beautiful” Lo’Ann, her actions and dialogue was entirely wooden and predictable.
Rating: 4

I wasn't exactly racing for the restore button at this point.

Sound and Graphics
I was a bit disappointed with the sound in Future Wars. I’d read somewhere that Jean Baudlot had been responsible for some great game soundtracks, but there was nothing memorable or impressive here. For the most part I was sitting in silence, which is something I’ve started to punish, and when music arrived, it was all a bit blah. The visuals were quite fantastic though!!!! Actually, let me adjust that statement slightly. The outdoor visuals were fantastic!!!! From the side of the skyscraper at the beginning, to the swamp and forests in the Middle-Ages, right through to the ruined landscape of the future, the environments were both convincing and beautiful. I really think the colour selection was far and away the best of all games so far (with the possible exception of Loom), and a major reason for the game’s attractiveness. The indoor sections were also attractive, but the designers’ decision to decrease the window size in proportion to the space dramatically affects the outcome. Pixel hunting was required to succeed in Future Wars, but it was made extra difficult by the play environment constantly being shrunk in this fashion. As a final point, the animation is very smooth, but it could probably be blamed for the very slow speed that the main character moves at.
Rating: 6

Chahi would re-use this colour scheme months later for his masterpiece

Environment and Atmosphere
As you would expect for a game that takes place in several time periods, the environment of Future Wars was varied. These environments included an office block, swampland, forests, futuristic post-apocalyptic landscape, an underground sewer, prehistoric caves, and an alien space station. As mentioned in the graphics section, it was all pretty convincingly realised (well, apart from the futuristic bits which already look a tad dated). Many times I was reminded of Out of This World and Flashback, which are two games that graphics man Eric Chahi would go on to play a major role in. I can’t fault his design or the result. When it comes to atmosphere, I didn’t get into Future Wars anywhere near as much as I felt I should be. The graphics and environments should have been right up my alley, but the X factor, the magic, just wasn’t there. Perhaps my character’s complete lack of motivation was transmitted from him to me? The lack of effective humor (or anything resembling entertaining dialogue) didn’t help, and my struggles with the interface / movement wouldn’t have either. Now that I’ve thought about it more, I think what was really missing from Future Wars was fun!
Rating: 5

It should have been epic, but sadly wasn't.

Dialogue and Acting
I’ll say straight up that the dialogue and descriptions in Future Wars are like literary masterpieces when compared to that found in the previous French games on the list so far. Mortville Manor, Chamber of the Sci-Mutant Priestess and Emmanuelle: A Game of Eroticism all had shocking translations and I’m not convinced they would have been much better in their native language (I can’t criticise Captain Blood for bad translation, but deciphering it’s alien language offered a very similar challenge). Future Wars contains perfectly adequate English, but it’s difficult to call it anything other than that…adequate. Effort was made to inject humor and some of the landscape descriptions were relatively detailed, but none of it really achieved anything beyond letting me know what was going on. The blame for the blandness of the characters shouldn’t be laid at the feet of artist Chahi, and instead with the writer, Paul Cuisset. Even Lo’Ann, who could have been a really strong character, gave me very little to care about (or be attracted to given my character’s apparent feelings for her). I’ve been pretty harsh throughout this post, but I guess I won’t be too harsh on the rating for this category. After all, I’ve certainly had to deal with a lot worse than adequate!
Rating: 4

This was the third time that I'd had the situation explained to me at length.

So that's 3 + 4 + 4 + 6 + 5 + 4, which equals 26, divided by 60 comes to 43 when rounded down. Hmmm...that leaves it equal with both Earthrise and Neuromancer. Those games were pretty different to Future Wars, which makes it difficult to make comparisons, but the sour taste I have in my mouth is compelling me to remove a discretionary point here. No, I won't do it. I've definitely punished the game enough, so 43 it is!

I really can't remember what sort of scores were predicted back in the Introduction post, but wouldn't be surprised if people were fooled by the impressive visuals. I'm off to take a look...nope, no-one went as low as 43, but Kenny McCormick predicted 44! His comment was "Graphics is cool and sound is crisp but gameplay and plot are both amateurish and clumsy". That's pretty much how I feel! Well done Kenny! The King's Quest Collection is yours if you want it.

50 CAPs for Lars-Erik

• Sponsor Award - 20 CAPs - For sponsoring the blog with free games

• Traitor’s Gate Award – 20 CAPs – For figuring out my Raven riddle

• Genre Support Award – 5 CAPs – For announcing a new adventure game sale on GOG

• Genre Support Award – 5 CAPs – For announcing a new adventure game sale on GOG

40 CAPs for Ilmari

• Traitor’s Gate Award – 20 CAPs – For figuring out my Raven riddle

• True Companion Award – 20 CAPs – For playing the game with me.

35 CAPs for Canageek

• Han Solo Award – 10 CAPs – For picking my Star Wars reference

• Genre Support Award – 5 CAPs – For announcing a new adventure game on Steam

• Genre Support Award – 5 CAPs – For announcing a new adventure game sale on Steam

• Genre Support Award – 5 CAPs – For announcing a new adventure game sale on GOG

• Genre Support Award – 5 CAPs – For announcing a new adventure game sale on GOG

• Genre Support Award – 5 CAPs – For announcing a new adventure game sale on GOG

30 CAPs for Laukku

• True Companion Award – 20 CAPs – For playing the game with me.

• Bio Challenge Award – 10 CAPs – For figuring out what Bio Challenge was all about

• Caption Contest Award – 10 CAPs – For inserting a sexual reference when one surely must go

• Failed Tricky Smackdown Award -10 CAPs – For betting against me and losing.

20 CAPs for Charles

• Spaceballs Award – 10 CAPs – For picking my Spaceballs reference

• Caption Contest Award – 10 CAPs – Come a little closer aarrgghhhh!!!!!!!

20 CAPs fo Sha1tan

• Number Lock Usage Award – 20 CAPs – For informing me that I could use the arrow keys to move in the game!

10 CAPs for Kenny McCormick

• Psychic Prediction Award – 10 CAPs For correctly predicting what score I would give the game.

Game 40: Future Wars - Won!

Hero Journal Entry 5: "I never wanted to be a hero! It's preposterous to think that just days ago I was cleaning the side of a building in the year 1990. Now I'm a hero in the year 4315, having travelled 65 million years into the past to reprogram the last of the Crughon's bombs in the process. Humanity has won the war, and Lo'Ann and I played a huge role in that victory. I just hope things will be quiet for a while now so I can get to know my new friend more and get some well deserved rest."

Looks like I'll have to hijack this thing!

Game 40 is in the bag! I knew when I finished my last post that the climax of Future Wars was approaching, and in theory that was true. I was indeed very close to the end, but it took me close to two hours to actually make it happen, for reasons you’ll understand soon enough. This last session began with me approaching the Crughon ship on my own, having sent Lo’Ann back to the year 4315 for medical attention. When I was standing in front of the entrance, I could see a Crughon corpse lying beneath the ship. Examining it revealed a magnetic card in its pocket, which I took with me onto the ship. I found myself standing in what appeared to be a cockpit, with a video camera turning to monitor my movements. I didn’t seem to be able to interact with the ship’s console, which was surprising, but I could play around with the hibernation box in the corner and a panel on the wall. I could see that there was a garment in the hibernation box, but I struggled to find a way to open it. I tried operating the lid numerous times with no success, so I turned my attention to the panel on the wall. There was a card-reader, so I used the magnetic card I’d recently acquired on it. “Ah! It pops out again. You take it back.” It didn’t seem that anything much had happened, but I did notice there were a few more lights shining on the panel that weren’t there previously.

It's not like I can talk. My next shower will likely occur around 65 million years from now!

Hi mum!

I went back to the box, and figured out that examining the base revealed a mechanism to open it. The glass lid rose, allowing me to pick up the garment within. Clicking on the box caused my character to get into it and lay down. I was concerned about the video camera on the wall, but since there didn’t seem to be a way to turn it off, decided to try closing the lid. The ship took off and travelled away from Earth, swirling through some sort of wormhole until it arrived at a space station! As soon as the ship landed, I was greeted by a huge Crughon reception committee and captured. Game over! The message made a point of mentioning that the aliens had been monitoring me the whole time, so I figured the video camera was the likely culprit. I restored my game back to the cockpit and tried using the garment on the camera. It worked, meaning the Crughons wouldn’t be able to see me in the hibernation box. This time after travelling to the space station, I awoke alone in the cockpit, although I could see a couple of guards waiting outside the ship. I stood up, but before I could do anything else the door opened and two guards came in and caught me again! Clearly I was supposed to use the invisibility pill before they entered, but I was going to have to restore and try again. This was particularly annoying as there was no way to skip the lengthy cutscene that showed my trip from Earth to the station and I hadn't saved my game in time.

This doesn't seem risky at all...right?

Whhhoooaahhh!!! Like trippy dude!

Seriously guys, you didn't have to do all this just for me!

As soon as I arrived the next time, I saved my game so I wouldn’t have to endure the cut scene again. Just as well too, as I died quite a few more times before I finally managed to avoid the guards. The trick was to walk to the back of the room next to the door, and then take the invisibility pill just before the guards entered. I then had to go through the doorway, down the ramp, and then finally walk straight past them and hide behind the boxes before the effects of the pill ran out. I wasted a fair bit of time trying to go through the door I could see at ground level until I finally tried simply walking behind the boxes. Once I’d had success, I found I could interact with one of the boxes, and doing so caused my character to hop inside and close it back up. Obviously the box was moved to another location, because I hopped out into a room containing numerous other bits of cargo. It was in this room that Albert II opened communication with me again. “Sir, it’s Albert II... The mental interface! Thank God we’ve found you again! The Earth fleet has just arrived here. We’re going to set up a diversionary attack to allow you to get to the computer inside the Crughon fortress. But we won’t be able to hold out for more than SIX minutes! So you’ve only got SIX MINUTED TO REPROGRAM THE BOMB AND MAKE YOUR GETAWAY. The computer is on the last level of the fortress. GOOD LUCK, sir. Over and out.”

How the hell could we lose to anyone when we have invisibility technology!?

Because...you know...why not!?

Apparently Albert II can pick the difference between audible versions of 2 and II!

When I left the room, I found myself in a corridor, with ladders ascending and descending. A large red timer appeared at the top of the screen and began ticking down from 6:00. Oh no...a maze! I soon discovered that this maze had innumerable dead ends too, which when combined with the time limit made for a hair-tearing experience. To make matters worse, it was extremely difficult to get my character to stop running exactly in front of a ladder, which was required to use it. I can’t tell you how many times I was forced to restore after wasting valuable seconds just trying to align myself where I needed to be just to climb a bloody ladder! When I finally found a doorway that had four large arrows directing me into it, I found that I wasn’t able to go inside. I figured I must have stumbled across the getaway path before the computer room, but there was nothing to tell me whether or not I was right. Albert II had told me that the computer I needed was on the “last level of the fortress”, so you’d think climbing down as many times as I could would lead to success. Nope! I had to climb most of the way down, then climb up numerous other ladders, and then begin descending downwards again until I finally found what I was looking for. By then my clock was nearly at 0:00, meaning I had to restore anyway and try to find my way back there.

The interface / movement of Future Wars + time limited platform section = not good

There are so many dead ends just beyond the edge of the screen, which is a really bitchy thing to do!

I finally managed to make my way to the computer room with two minutes and forty seconds left on the clock. There I used my magnetic card on the console and Albert II took over to reprogram the bomb detonation to be “a few million years before our era”. Once done, he told me to make my way to the hangar and use a first aid ship to escape. I figured the original doorway I’d found must lead to the hangar, but finding my way back there was a bitch. After a full hour had passed, I finally completed the maze section by reaching the hangar with about fifteen seconds on the clock. As Albert II had suggested, I hopped into a first aid ship and flew away from the station. “HURRAY! YOU’VE DONE IT!” Lo’Ann’s voice came over the intercom: “The doctors cured me as soon as I got back. I owe you my life for a second time.” After she’d finished thanking me, another voice took over: “BAILEY HERE... ORDER TO ALL VESSELS. RETURN TO THE ASSEMBLY POINT... MISSION ACCOMPLISHED, LADS! CONGRATULATIONS FROM EARTH HIGH COMMAND. HIGH COMMAND HAS ALSO INFORMED US THAT THE SCORZUUM EXPLODED 65 MILLION YEARS AGO. THE MENACE, THE THREAT THAT HUNG OVER US, WILL SOON BE NOTHING MORE THAN A BAD MEMORY! EARTH IS SAVED! THE HUMAN RACE HAS WON ITS FIRST BATTLE! THREE CHEERS FOR OUR BRAVE HERO! HIP, HIP, HURRAY!”

Sure! Why don't you just finish the game for me!?

I'd bet my house that no-one ever got through this whole section without having to restore. Even after I knew what I was supposed to do, I still only made it with a handful of seconds left!

Over 2000 years from now, they still say hip, hip, hurray!

Rather predictably, I was then shown a view of the dinosaurs roaming the land in the Late Cretaceous Era, and was informed that I had contributed to their end. “How could they ever imagine that this morning, the Earth will turn a definitive page in its history and today will mark THE END OF THE REIGN OF THE DINOSAURS!!” The game closed with me staying in the 44th century with Lo’Ann. Humanity is reorganising itself, preparing itself for any future wars with the Crughons. Meanwhile, it appeared I got the girl, as the final scene had her and I standing on a platform high above a huge crowd of grateful people. So there you have it! Future Wars: An Adventure in Time is over. I’d had very high hopes for it prior to starting, and while some of those hopes were met, I have to say that the experience was not a particularly positive one. I'm still yet to play a French game on the list that I consider to be really good, but this one was the best attempt. It will be very interesting to see what PISSED rating the game scores in the next day or two. You'd think it would do better than Earthrise, but with different pros and cons, I'm not 100% sure. After that post is done,  it’s onto Les Manley: Search for the King, which is a game I have a very bad feeling about!

Way to make a guy feel bad about it!

Actually, while I have your attention. What is your name anyway!?

The mission clearly wasn't dangerous enough. Let's make them stand out on a small platform a hundred metres up!

Session Time: 1 hours 45 minutes
Total Time: 6 hours 30 minutes

Game 40: Future Wars - The Grate Escape

Hero Journal Entry 4: "What have I got myself into now!? After being captured and imprisoned on a Crughon ship, which I managed to escape through a combination of genius and luck (more of the latter really), I was then moments from being executed by the very council I'd been trying to find. Thankfully Lo'Ann came to save me, but there was very little opportunity to celebrate as we were soon afterwards travelling back into prehistoric times to find the third Crughon bomb. As soon as we arrived it became apparent that we were too late, as the Crughons had already activated the bomb. Somehow Lo'Ann and I managed to take out the congregating army and their leader in a shootout, but my new friend was seriously wounded in the action. I've sent her home to get her wounds treated, and am now facing the prospect of finding and detonating the bomb all by myself! I guess I'll save Earth or die. Perhaps both!"

Aaahhh...finally I can get some shut eye

My last post finished with me boarding a shuttle on my way to meet with The Council. I’d had a bad feeling that I was facing a dead end though, since I’d failed to do anything with the newspaper rack before boarding the train. This gut feeling turned out to be correct, but I won’t spoil the fun for those of you that haven’t played the game. Let’s play it out the way I experienced it. The shuttle took off and an announcement was made to inform myself and the other passenger that we would reach PARIS IV in exactly half an hour. For a while there I wondered whether I was going to have to sit through the entire thirty minutes, but then suddenly something rather dramatic occurred. A Crughon ship dropped down from above, situating itself on top of the shuttle I was in. My character froze while the other passenger opened the cabin door and jumped out! Two Crughons hopped down into the cabin and pointed rifles directly at me. “DON’T MAKE A MOVE, EARTHLING! ONE MOVE AND YOU’RE DEAD!” Rather unheroically, my character fainted at the sight of the aliens and awoke in a small prison. I immediately set about trying to find a way out, discovering an air duct on the wall that was covered by a metal grille. Looking at my inventory, I wondered whether the gas capsule would be the solution to this situation.

Oh come on! Can't I have a moment's peace?

The size of this frame makes me feel claustrophobic, let alone the prison cell.

I tried using the capsule on the air duct, but was informed that I would have to remove the grille first. Hmmm...how could I remove the grill? I tried using the key on it, and was actually surprised when it worked! “OK! You use the key to remove the screws that hold the grille in place. The grille is now removed.” Awesome! I once again tried using the gas capsule on the air duct and that also appeared to be successful! “So, you pull the cartridge open and throw it into the duct. A greenish gas begins to escape from it." Unfortunately, the gas drifted back into the room and suffocated me, meaning I had to restore and figure out a way to stop that from happening. I wasn’t even certain why I might want to put the gas capsule into the duct, but then when has this game ever had puzzles with real motivation?! I tried a few things, but as time went on, I started to think about that newspaper in the rack. Could it be that I was supposed to use the newspaper to cover the duct after throwing the capsule in? The more I thought about it, the more certain I was that it was so. I restored my game back to the train station, and instead of hopping on the train, spent some time trying to figure out what I was supposed to do with the rack.

Finally our hero had simply had enough! No longer would he battle against obstacle after obstacle without proper motivation!

Did you really have to make the coin slot accurately proportional to the rest of the environment?

It didn’t take me long to realise that I hadn’t pixel hunted as carefully as I should have the first time I tried. I guess I was distracted by the train constantly arriving and departing, particularly as I wasn’t able to do anything while it was in the process of doing so. This time I found not only a tiny coin slot towards the top, but I also discovered a coin collector at the bottom. Examining the collector revealed a coin that said “1 ecu” on the reverse! I picked it up and eagerly put it into the coin slot. “Nothing happens! Maybe you didn’t put it in properly...” Well that was surprising! I knew that the cubicles in the toilets at the next stop required 1 ecu to enter, so perhaps I was supposed to go there? Maybe the coin was all I needed and not the newspaper? I thought I would try putting the coin in one more time to make sure, and this time it worked!!! I now had a newspaper! I made my way back to the prison and this time after using the capsule on the air duct, I used the newspaper on it. “A good idea. You use the newspaper to block the duct, so that the gas cannot drift back into the room.” Eventually, in what is a very unlikely turn of events, there was a click as the door to my cell opened. I walked out to find myself in a room filled with dead Crughons! Clearly the gas had flowed through into this room from the duct, and then one of the aliens had fallen onto the cell release button.

Caption contest

Haha! My plan to open the door by randomly putting gas in this duct has worked perfectly!

Actually they are still in uniform motion, but let's not be picky.

This solution was completely ridiculous of course, but I was just happy to be out of there. I was about to start investigating the room when an announcement was made. “CROUTONS! THIS IS THE CAPTAIN OF THE EARTHSHIP ANDROS II. IT IS USELESS TO RESIST! WE ARE HOLDING YOU IN OUR TRACTION BEAM!” As if my release wasn’t miraculous enough, now the ship I was on was being boarded by my people the moment I was free. I watched the two ships landing back on Earth, and then found myself standing in front of The Council for judgement. A man spoke to the President: “Sir, here is the Crughon prisoner whom we detained. He was carrying documents on him which came from Crughon headquarters.” Clearly he was talking about the documents I’d picked up way back when I was in my boss’ office. I argued that I was an Earthling, but the President wouldn’t have any of it. “SHUT-UP, CROUTON! You’ll speak when you’re asked to!! Carry on, Captain.” The captain went on to inform the President that they’d conducted a DNA test, and while the result was negative, the fact that my genetic code wasn’t in their database meant I had to be a Crughon spy. Things were not looking good for me, and they were about to get much worse when the President expressed his views on my role in events. He blamed me for the air raids that killed thousands in PARIS II and PARIS VII before asking for the jury’s verdict. It was guilty of course, and I was sentenced to death!

Here we find a male of the spaceship species, having impressed the female through numerous acts of superior maneuverability, claiming its prize.

Can I at least have a lawyer?!

Before I knew it I was facing the firing squad, my hands locked behind my back. I figured one of two things was going to happen. I was going to be shot and forced to avoid this situation somehow, or Lo’Ann was going to save me in the nick of time. Just as the guns were pointing at me and the Captain’s arm was raised and ready to command my death, a voice was heard shouting “STOP! STOP!” Lo’Ann ran into the room with a written order from The Council to stop the execution. I faced up to The Council once again, but this time they were extremely apologetic for their actions against me. The President then went on to explain the history of the war between humans and Crughons, although I don’t believe he told me anything I didn’t already know. Century long battle, space colonies wiped out, forced back to Earth, built SDI shield to defend people, years of peace, Crughons hatching a plan to go back in time and plant bombs in the locations where the SDI’s three poles would eventually be placed. At the end of this long-winded story, the next part of my journey was revealed. While Lo’Ann, her father and I had stopped the bomb from being set in the middle ages, The Council was unable to find the second bomb which they believe was planted in my time. It was this bomb that destroyed pole 3 and gave The Crughons the opportunity to attack.

"I ... am ... a ... man!"

This is one of those moments where sorry doesn't quite do the job!

And they say chivalry is dead!

The third bomb was still out there somewhere in space and time, and the documents I’d had on me apparently revealed its location. The Council announced that Lo’Ann had already volunteered for the mission to go back in time and destroy it, at which point my character eagerly volunteered also. With this decided we made our way to the Chronoporters and prepared to time travel. This preparation included me being given a crash course in hypno-education. I sat in a small alcove in the room and a machine was attached to my head. My brain was barraged with information and I was taught everything I needed to know about the mission in mere moments. When it was over, my character apparently knew lots of new stuff, but I didn’t. I assumed this newly gained knowledge would be passed on to me at appropriate times. Lo’Ann and I readied ourselves, at which point she informed me we were about to go back to the Cretaceous period, which is about 65 million years ago!!! In two flashes of light, we were gone, reappearing in some sort of cave system. Lo’Ann was standing on the cave floor while I was on a higher level. I climbed down to meet her, and she handed me a compressed airgun. Clearly she expected a fight, and after we walked to the left off the screen, we soon found ourselves in the thick of one!

It's gonna happen! It's gonna happen!!!

Hang on a second! Is this Total Recall? That would seriously explain a lot!

The first time is always a bit surprising!

We stood overlooking a vast area where Crughons ran around in front of one of their ships. Lo’Ann was in a panic. “THE CRUGHONS! We’re too late. The Scorzuum has been activated!” My hypno-educated brain started to come to the fore, informing me that Scorzuum was the delayed-action bomb that the Crughons planted. “Once the timer has been started, there’s no way of stopping it!” Thankfully Lo’Ann had a plan: “We’ve somehow got to smuggle ourselves onboard the Crughon shuttle! It’s our last chance! We must get the bomb to go off in THIS era, but to do that we have to gain access to the master computer inside the Crughon space fortress!” This sounded difficult, and it was made even more difficult when our presence was detected and the Crughons began firing at us! I was now required to shoot the Crughons by moving the cursor over them and pressing the left mouse button. They swarmed from the left and the right, and the ones positioned at the front of the charge were highlighted in red and marked as dangerous. These highlighted Crughons were the ones I had to focus on, as failing to kill them quickly resulted in me being obliterated. I died many, many times until I finally got used to things. The real aim was to kill the leader as he swept across the sky on his platform, but it wasn’t easy to even attempt that as failing to concentrate on the front line for long meant a game over screen. Eventually I cleaned up enough running aliens fast enough to be able to target and kill the leader, and then take out the remainders.

I think you might have been excused for including some really nasty expletives there Lo'Ann.

Well that's one way to explain the controls!

My celebration was short-lived however, as moments after victory, a lone Crughon appeared on a platform and shot Lo’Ann! I took him out and then checked out my friend’s health. She was alive, but I was told that to save her life I would need to send her back into the future for medical attention. Examining her uncovered a little box of invisibility pills. There was only one pill left, and the box informed me that it would last for only one minute. I was going to have to make good use of it! I also found the pendant I’d given to her previously, and figured it might help me get Lo’Ann back to her time. I used it on her and then heard a voice inside my head! “Albert II. Mental Programming system... Awaiting your orders, sir.”  My character asked Albert II who he was, to which he responded: “I’m Albert II! At least, that’s what Lo’Ann calls me. My real name is AX401ML367 II, which I admit is not quite as easy to remember. I’m a mental interface, part of CHRONOSYS, the master computer of the time travelling system.” I asked Albert if he could move Lo’Ann to the year 4315 for urgent medical treatment, and thankfully he replied in the affirmative. He couldn’t however take both of us, since the “positronic charge shows a serious loss in power”. That was fine by me, as I still had a mission to complete. Lo’Ann was whisked away to safety, while I watched my character slowly make his way toward the ship. It seemed likely that the end of Future Wars was now approaching. Join me in a few days to see how it all plays out!

If you've ruined my chance of getting laid, I swear I'll revive you just so I can kill you again!

I'd prefer it if you'd let me decide how excited I am.

Session Time: 0 hours 45 minutes
Total Time: 4 hours 45 minutes

Note Regarding Spoilers and Companion Assist Points: I've written a set of rules regarding spoilers and companion assist points. Please read it here before making any comments that could be considered a spoiler in any way. The short of it is that no points will be given for hints or spoilers given in advance of me requiring one. Please...try not to spoil any part of the game for me...unless I really obviously need the help...or I specifically request assistance. In this instance, I've not made any requests for assistance. Thanks!

Game 40: Future Wars - Back to the Future

Hero Journal Entry 3: "I have saved Lana! Well, her name turned out to be Lo'Ann, but I definitely saved her. She's really smart and beautiful too! Her father explained this whole situation to me once I'd returned her safely, and it involves a century old war between humans and an alien race called the Crughons. Lo'Ann and her father are agents of TRIANGLE and were sent 3000 years back in time to 1304 to investigate potential Crughon activity. I still don't completely understand everything that is going on, but Lo'Ann and I have now been sent to the year 4315 to meet with the Supreme Council. They will decide what to do about me, as I now know way more than a normal person of my time should. Typically, things haven't gone to plan, and I'm having to make my own way to the Council without Lo'Ann. I sure hope I get to see her again!"

...and then spend half an hour trying to find a use for it.

At the end of my last post I’d been feeling a bit perplexed. I’d collected the remote control from the now drunk Father Superior in the monastery and then used it to uncover a magnetic card hidden within some furniture in his room. Despite a lengthy effort, I’d not been able to figure out what to do next. There appeared no way of leaving the monastery and yet there appeared to be nothing that I could use this magnetic card on. My post finished with me committing to using every item on everything I could interact with in the monastery before requesting assistance, so that’s exactly what I did. I started in the alcove where I’d originally collected the golden cup, but my pixel hunting once again uncovered nothing I could interact with. I moved onto the cellar, where I was convinced the only items I could interact with were the eleven barrels. I’d already retrieved the alcohol from the barrels, so it seemed unlikely I would find anything there, but I tried anyway. I examined every barrel, but was told repeatedly that they weren’t interesting. I operated every barrel, but was given no further information apart from the fact they were empty or full. I used the magnetic card on every one of the barrels, but achieved nothing in the process. I’d already found the use for the remote control, but I used it on every barrel anyway. When I clicked on the second barrel, something happened!!!

Of course! Why wouldn't I use the remote control on an empty barrel!!??

Using the remote control on the second barrel caused it to open up. I have no idea how I was supposed to know to do this, and it’s just as well that the monastery area overall isn’t very large, as I may never have tried it otherwise. Did I miss some piece of information that suggested one of the barrels might be more than it seemed? Anyway, I’d got past my game-halting obstacle, so was just happy to be able to move on. While the opening in the barrel didn’t look very big, it turned out that I could actually crawl through it into a room beyond. There I discovered Torin’s daughter Lana held captive in some sort of glass case! Examining her gave me the following: “She seems to be asleep... the young girl is extremely beautiful and you ask yourself whether she is not the reason for your feeling of disquiet.” There was a console near the case, but when I tried to use it I was told that “there are some strange signs on the keyboard, but no letters of the alphabet”. Pixel hunting revealed a little gas capsule on the ground near the case which I picked up, but that didn’t seem of much use for my current predicament. I tried using the magnetic card on the console and it worked, releasing Lana from captivity! She was now awake and strangely unaffected by her recent condition: “Thank you for setting me free, stranger. My name is Lana, daughter of Torin.”

You mean to find Lana? Well, yeah, it's approaching pretty damn quickly actually!

Of course she's beautiful! Any decent damsel in distress would be!

My character showed her the pendant to convince her that I was a friend sent by her father. This indeed gained her trust, and she expressed an urgent need to leave. “We must be quick now, I hope they have not yet begun phase two.” Lana typed something into the console keyboard before telling me that she’d programmed the destruction of the Crughon’s Scrugh. She told me a few other bits of information, but none of it meant anything to either me or my character. One thing was clear though...we needed to get out of there...now! Lana pointed at my pendant and then the two of us were teleported to her father in the castle. The relatives were clearly overjoyed to be reunited, and Lana informed Torin of my role in her rescue. Once the small talk was out of the way, the next stage of the plot began to come out. Both father and daughter recognised that my character was not only foreign to this land, but also to this time! I explained everything that had occurred since the incident in my boss’s office, after which Lord Torin asked me to follow him. “I think we owe you an explanation, young man.” The three of us walked to another room, which once again was clearly too advanced to be in a medieval castle. There he began a lengthy spiel which I’ll summarise below.

You mean the game?! Oh please tell me you mean the game! (No, it really isn't that bad.)

Yes, which is why I took on a cleaning job back in my time.

Alright! Let's hope the father leaves us to it soon!

“First of all, you need to know that we are in the year 1304!!! The time transporter took you back hundreds of years into the past. Lana and I were born in the forty-first century. We have travelled three thousand years back in time. So in a sense we are your distant descendants! My real name is Lear Bailey and this is my daughter Lo’Ann. We are agents of TRIANGLE, the institute of the research. We were sent here to investigate possible Crughon activity. They are a nation which originated on Betelgeuse. They are violent and bloodthirsty humanoids with whom we have been at war for more than a century. They possess a technology which is far more advanced than ours and, thus, they have the advantage in this war. Luckily for us, they have not completely mastered their technology because they did not create it. They use the artifacts left behind by a civilization that has disappeared. It was a civilization which must have had immeasurable power, if the wonders of their technology are anything to go by. These wonders enabled our civilization, and that of the Crughons to take a giant step. The art of time travel was revealed to us when we translated their ancient writings. But even though we can use it, I must confess that the technique uses laws which are very far from being perfectly understood. Unfortunately, the Crughons also took over this invention, and we are afraid they will use it against us. So we took the place of Lord Torin and his daughter in order to pursue our investigations.”

In other words, the writers could come up with no scientific explanation that made any sense whatsoever.

The lord went on to explain that the real Torin and Lana were under psycho-hypnosis, and would believe they’d been living a normal life for the last few days upon being awoken. It soon became apparent that I too might be put into a trance: “By rights, I ought to put you into a psycho-hypnotic trance as well but, to be honest, I find it difficult to make that decision in view of all the help you have given us. I think it would be better to refer the matter to the Supreme Council.” Lana gave me more modern clothes to get changed into, and once done we used the teleportation system (called Chronoporters) in the room to travel to the year 4315! Something must have gone wrong on the way, as I arrived on my own! Lo’Ann was nowhere to be seen, and there was no way for me to know whether the ruin I found myself in was actually in 4315 or some other year. There was nothing else to do but to investigate and see what I could find. There was debris and rubble everywhere, but on the right side of the screen I could see an item that stood out. It was a blowtorch, which I picked up, and then walked east. On the next screen I could see another item that stood out from the orange and red surroundings, but at first I couldn’t see how to get to it. There was a steep ledge in front of me and there appeared no way to climb up it.

We're about to see some serious shit!

Oh man! I finally meet a hot chick and then...

Say it again! I dare you to say it again!!!!

After revisiting the first screen to make sure I hadn’t missed an item or path, I came back and found the solution. All I had to do was walk to the right of screen along an upward sloping path that I couldn’t see due to the foreground landscape. Once I was up on the ledge I was able to check out the box, but on the way I found a manhole that had been covered in rubble. I thought I’d better look in the box before attempting to open the manhole, and doing so revealed some fuses. I picked up the whole box and then successfully removed the manhole. I descended beneath the surface and reappeared in a sewer. Since there was only one direction I could go in, and nothing to interact with, I walked through a few screens until I came to a tap that was sticking out of the pipes on the wall. I tried using a few items on it and discovered I could fill my blowtorch up with whatever was coming out of the valve. I continued following the sewer through quite a few more screens until a woman’s voice was heard crying for help. I found her on the next screen with her child, and both of them were facing a nasty looking sewage-mutated water creature! “Help us, sir, please!!! Save my child!” My first attempt at doing so resulted in me being eaten, but the second attempt saw me using my recently filled blowtorch to fry the vicious monster.

Town? We're calling this a town are we!?

Aha! That's where that stench came from! And I thought it was the interface the whole time!

Never fear m'lady! I am an expert at removing sewage-mutated water creatures!

The mother was extremely grateful for my assistance. “OH THANK YOU!!! You saved our lives. We took refuge here during the Crughon attack. The muta-octopus smelled our scent and without you – ugh, I prefer not to think about what might have happened. Generator Three blew up about an hour ago and the evil Crughons took advantage of the gap to get inside and attack us!” My character informed the woman of my need to find the Council, and she helpfully gave me some directions. “We are just below the underground station. The metro will take you to the shuttle port, and all you have to do is take the first shuttle to Paris IV.” This sounded easy enough, but how was I going to get out of the sewers and into the station? Thankfully the woman could help me on that front too, using some sort of little metal tube called a Metamol to create a ladder leading up right near us! We said our goodbyes and then I climbed the ladder, soon finding myself standing outside what I assumed was the metro station. I walked up to the doors and was surprised to find that they didn’t open for me. I didn’t seem to be able to manually open them either. There was a little video camera just above the door that I thought would detect my motion and open the doors, but examining it revealed that it was “in very poor state of maintenance”.

You know you could always come up with me? Or you could stay down here with the muta-octopi!

They still have standard videocameras in 4315?

I wasn’t able to go back into the sewers or leave the screen in any other direction, so figured there must be a way to get the door open somehow. I didn’t have too many items in my inventory, so I just tried using some of them on the camera. When I tried “use lance on videocamera”, the following occurred. “You have a good idea! You clean the camera viewfinder with the tip of your lance. Bits of dried earth which were blocking it fall at your feet.” Clearly no-one had used this entrance to the station in a long time! The doors were open now though, so I walked inside. As I did so, a female voice made an announcement across the station: “This is a priority 5 bulletin from the Council. Citizens, Crughon spies have infiltrated our ranks. Martial Law has been declared. Please inform the control units of any suspicious person. We remind you that DNA fingerprinting is COMPULSORY. Any obstruction will be severely punished! This is a Council bulletin.” Hmmm...that didn’t sound promising. I didn’t have a hope of passing a DNA fingerprinting test since technically I didn’t exist! All I could do was focus on the task at hand though, so I checked out my surroundings. There was an empty teller window and a newspaper rack, but I could only interact with the latter. Before I could get a closer look, a train arrived and the doors opened. Should I get on now or look at the rack? Would the train wait!?

Oh yes...what a good idea I had!

Let's hope there are no conductors on this line.

I saved my game and investigated the rack. When I operated it, my character gave it a kick which achieved nothing. A quick look at my inventory gave me no ideas as to how I might use it, and while I was thinking, the train pulled away! Thankfully another arrived pretty soon afterwards, but it was quite annoying that I couldn’t do anything while the trains were arriving and departing (I couldn’t click on anything). This gave me only a short window to try things on the newspaper rack. I hopped on the second train, feeling quite certain that I’d missed something, but not having any decent ideas. Shortly afterwards I arrived at the destination, where a hostess sat at a desk, a man guarded what appeared to be an ascending escalator, and some stairs led downwards. There was a TV floating in mid air too, but it wasn’t turned on. I tried talking to the hostess, but she paid no attention to me. “JUST A MINUTE!! Can’t you see I’m busy?” Examining the guard revealed he was carrying a weapon on his belt and he requested my ticket as I approached him. I didn’t have one of course, so I took the stairs leading down, not having a clue where I was going to end up. I reappeared in a bathroom that contained a couple of cubicles and a fuse box on the wall. I had some fuses, but I didn’t have a clue why I might want to use them on the box. Still, after discovering I couldn’t enter the cubicles without paying with a card, I tried using the fuses on the fuse-box. “Try and find something else.” Huh!?

I get the feeling I'm supposed to go right!

Is that something I should be excited about?

Surely the fuse-box wasn’t there for no reason at all!? Eventually some pixel hunting revealed that I was able to interact with the tiny fuses that were visible in the box. “The second fuse has completely burned out.” I used my fuses on the fuses: “OK! You replace the defective fuse. Nothing happens.” Awesome result! I failed to find anything else to do in the bathroom, so I made my way back upstairs. When I got there I found that the TV was now on, and the guard was giving all his attention to it. This is yet another example of solving a puzzle in Future Wars before I’ve even realised there’s a puzzle to be solved. I carefully walked behind the guard and got onto the escalator, removing the need to get a ticket. The escalator took me up to some sort of aerial transportation, and my character walked on and sat down in a vacant seat. “Ladies and gentlemen, welcome aboard. We’ll be taking off in a few seconds and reaching our destination, PARIS IV, in exactly half an hour. We hope you will have a pleasant trip on our line." I was flying off to meet the Council, but beyond that I had no clue what further adventures awaited me. What had happened to Lo’Ann? Would I see her again? And most importantly, was I supposed to do something with the newspaper rack? Join me in a few days to find out!

Worst...guard...ever!

Um...is anyone else concerned about that huge hole in the side of the plane?

Session Time: 1 hour 00 minutes
Total Time: 4 hours 00 minutes

Note Regarding Spoilers and Companion Assist Points: I've written a set of rules regarding spoilers and companion assist points. Please read it here before making any comments that could be considered a spoiler in any way. The short of it is that no points will be given for hints or spoilers given in advance of me requiring one. Please...try not to spoil any part of the game for me...unless I really obviously need the help...or I specifically request assistance. In this instance, I've not made any requests for assistance. Thanks!