Companions of Xanth – Roc and a Hard Place

By Ilmari

Last time, I had just arrived in the magical world of Xanth. Without any idea what I am supposed to do, I ask my companion Nada Naga for advice.

Ah, the good magician Humfrey. No trip to Xanth would be perfect without a visit to the Good Magician’s castle. Originally a human with no talents, but a lot of curiosity, he eventually enrolled in a demon university and earned a degree of a magician of information. After a long period as a king of Xanth, Humfrey retired into a castle, but people began coming up and asking him questions, since he knew so much. Eventually, he decided to ask anyone visiting him for a year’s service – even his future wife, Gorgon (yes, the one with snakes as her hair and a petrifying look), when she wanted to know if Humfrey would marry him. Relatively recently in Xanth history, Humfrey and his family went missing and the place of the magician of information had to be temporarily assumed by Grey Murphy, magician with the talent of magic nullification and the son of an evil magician Murphy (the famous one with the talent of making things go wrong, if they can go wrong). Humfrey was eventually found in the anteroom of Hell, where he had gone to ask the demon X(A/N)TH release her previous wife, Rose of Roogna, whom he had forgotten due to drinking a lot of forgetfulness potion after her disappearance. Eventually X(A/N)TH conceded, but also returned Humfrey’s all earlier wives (now up to five and half) back to the world of the living. Since Xanth allows only monogamous marriages, Humfrey’s wifes have to take turns in living with Humfrey, while others reside in Hell.

Sometimes the Xanth series seems like one big soap opera.Nada says she doesn’t know where Humfrey lives, but there should be a village nearby. I move forward to a crossing, with a river and a couple of trees. There’s a logjam in the river, but I am not strong enough to pull the log. Instead, I pick up a buttercup, which of course contains some butter. One of the trees is a cherry bomb tree. Naturally, I try to eat one of the fruits.

Just a killer joke

Hey, maybe that cherry bomb could clear the log jam? No, it doesn’t work, the bomb just disappears in a puff of smoke. No matter, I can pick a new one. I try some of the roads, but most of them just make me confused and there’s only one direction I can really take. Now, I’m deeper in the woods. I see one of the wonders of Xanthian wild life, a tangle tree. Nada tries to prevent me, but I just have to touch it.

With expected results

With one restore later, I instead check the small pool and see a vision of Kim and Jenny.

The quality of the live action in the cutscenes does not cease to amaze me

They couldn’t find more convincing clothes for him?

So, Kim and Jenny have met Cyrus the merman. Or to be exact, something like ¾ merman. His father, Morris, is a full merman (and therefore cannot change his fish end to legs), but his mother Siren (sister of Gorgon, the wife of the Good Magician Humfrey) is just a half merwoman and can change into a human form, and that’s where Cyrus inherited his skill. Now he is out to find himself a nice merwoman to marry (what did I say about Xanth and soap operas?).

Finally the village I have been looking for. Isthmus Village, says the headman, and as far as I know, this place has never been mentioned at any other point in Xanth novels. He tells me that Humfrey lives far away beyond the Five Elemental Regions (that’s Air, Water, Earth, Fire and Void). He also mentions that the village is being plagued by dreaded censor-ship, the censers of which spread incense censoring everything the people say (I am not really sure, if this is a good pun). He tells me that the solution for this terrible situation could be found beyond the pail (yes, I wrote it correctly) northeast of the village, where Fairy Nuff (ha ha!) dwells. When I agree to find the solution, the headman gives me a rusty key.

The key opens the gate to the harbor where the censor-ship is situated. There’s a sailcloth, which I take, and a rope, which is tied up somewhere. I’ve started speaking with Nada regularly, and now she volunteers to go and check in her naga form what’s holding the rope. She finds an anchor at the other end and brings it and the rope to me. I note I can tie the rope back to the anchor, and the game tells me this makes an effective grappling hook. After a while, I have an idea and go prying the log with it. It works and now I have a log.

Going in the censor-ship, I see the censers spreading smoke to the village. I try to use the sailcloth to douse them, but it doesn’t work. Instead, I return to the screen with the village headman and notice I can pick up a rock and two lamp covers. I have another idea and go fill one of the covers with some water from the spring and try to use that with the censers. Apparently that doesn’t work either.

I remember that the village headman is also a carpenter and take my log to him. I try all the options, but the only thing he agrees to do with the log is to make it a board. I have no idea what to do with it, so I decide to finally continue the path further beyond the village.

I said I spelled it correctly

Going beyond the pail, indeed. I cannot grab it or throw anything at it, since it always manages to escape me. Should I just ignore the pail and move forward? Well, the path just loops back to the beginning, so that’s not the answer either. I ask Nada for advice and she suggests attacking the pail from far away, where it could not see me.

Talk about an explicit hint

I return to an earlier screen, with the road running between two steep cliffs. I check a boulder and do what the game suggests. Nada says that it’s a nice abstract sculpture, but still needs something. It’s pretty obvious I’m meant to put the rock on the board.

Even Nada agrees with me

I ask Nada to hit the catapult with her tail, and the rock hits the pail. Soon, I am a proud owner of a bucket. What’s more important, the path doesn’t loop anymore and I can move forward to a new place.

Eye spy…

My task is obviously to go through the door, but let’s investigate the screen more carefully. The little eyeballs on the snow are edible – they are eye scream – so I pick one of them. I check the mailbox and find a letter sent by the village headman to Fairy Nuff.

With nothing better to do, I start talking with the eye screen. After a few pointless rounds of dialogue, it tells that it is guarding the Ice Queen. When I ask about the Fairy, the door admits that he’s also living there, and hearing about the plight of the village, it decides to let me in. Inside, I find a golf course with a tee and an egg, which I obviously take, and a fair.

My eye scream does not enjoy the heat

Where else you’d find a fairy, but in a fair?

That’s the weirdest fairy I’ve ever seen… Oh my giddy aunt, I hope this is not an embarrassing gay joke.

With that possibility in mind…

…these lines are a bit suspect

 I mean, really!

I tell the fairy about the plight of the village, and he gives me a recipe for a solution.

My piece of eye scream has melted, but I know where to get more. I also have butter (in the buttercup) and I know that I can get fresh water from the brook. I have an egg, and the sailcloth is a fragment of the ship. Furthermore, I know where fireflies are flying (at the brook), all I need is to catch one of them. The one thing I have that might attract insects is the buttercup.

Score!

The only thing missing is two cough drops. Then I notice something.

 Cough drops

I talk with Nada, and she promises to catch the next cough drop when it drops. With the solution ready, I take it to the fairy, who divides it into the two lamp covers. All I need to do now is to pour them into the censers.

One down

And here goes the second

Time for a cut scene

 And I’ve become a real boy!

I am rewarded a sword

With this quest over, the village headman instructs me that the fairy knows a shortcut that lets me avoid the elemental regions. I go visit him again and he suggests that I move northwest.

And this is where I shall begin next time

Session time: 3 h 30 min
Total time: 5 h 30 min