Hand of Fate - We Are Stardust, We Are Golden, We Are Billion-Year-Old Carbon

Written by Michael

Last time we talked, I was in a dark cave.  

"My life is a dark room.  One. Big. Dark. Room."

But, thanks to having played the previous game in the series, I already knew the solution:  the fireberries.  Trouble is, I don’t have the hardened skin of King Brandon.  When I try to touch the berry bush to pick a bunch, I’m told they are too hot.

Much like myself.

Everglowing fireberries, new from Montesano,  are the latest in GMO digital plant life

But, it seems, filling a flask of icky swamp water and pouring it over the berries makes them cool to the touch, and I grab not just one bunch, but all three.  I don’t know how many rooms are in the cave, and I’m lazy.  Fortunately, it seems these won’t burn out as quickly as their less-hearty predecessors.  After all, they are “Everglowing” Fireberries.

So I make my way back to the cave.

Even ghost pirates need to see a dentist from time to time

Inside the cave, it seems to be just one room.  The only things to interact with are the teeth of a large skeleton, each of the seven incisors I click lights a different color and makes a different sound.

Wait, this seems vaguely familiar.  Flashback to my last entry, didn’t I find an equal number of fireflies who behaved in the same way?

Back to my notes, I find the pattern I learned, and then poke the teeth until I know which one is which color.  Then, I play the seven-note song.  The skeleton then says “Ah!”

I had to do it this way.  I couldn't find its ear.

A treasure chest is revealed.  It’s locked, of course, but using a “Skeleton’s key” on a Skeleton’s chest seems quite obvious.  Inside I find an alchemist's magnet, which can be used to turn lead to gold.  A solution for our ferryman.  I look in the chest again, and find some cheese.  I suppose that’s why the giant rat was guarding this?

I find Blue Cheese dressing revolting, so I've never understood the appeal of a moldy cheese.

Leaving the cave, I happen past those fishermen again.  I offer them the cheese as bait.  “At this point, I’ll try anything.”  They catch a little fish, pull up anchor, and promptly leave without saying a word.  How rude.

I decide to try to follow them, and head towards my lab.  I pass Brueth, and ask him if his boat has an anchor.  “No need, it’s got magic steering.”

They forgot to feed the meter.

Further down the path, I find their boar abandoned and the anchor in plain site, on the dock.  I’m not a nautical scholar, but I suspect that’s not the usual placement of the anchor.  Still, it’s obvious what I need to do.  I swipe the anchor (it’s payment for the cheese, you ungrateful old men!) and use the magnet on it to change it to gold.

Quickly back to Brueth, because it’s time for me to leave.  Before the rest of Kyrandia disappears!  But there seems to be a little problem...

Hold your fire.

There’s a letter carrying, um, dragonfly (?) who seems to have crash-landed on the ferry and burned it down in the process.  He agrees to fly me to Morningmist Valley, if I can find the four letters he dropped on the way down.  Yay, a fetch quest!

"Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds"

Where do I find them?  Strolling around, I find one on the roof of my lab, a packet cleverly hidden at the Hot Sulphur Springs (a pixel hunt that didn’t offend me as a puzzle), another landed below the firefly tree, and my personal favorite, the one held by the Monkey Island™ skeleton arm in the quicksand bog.

I’m told that every woman loves to hear these words.

He takes us airborne, but complains of Zanthia’s weight.  This is easily solved (automatically, not by me) by discarding the golden anchor.  Predictably, when it falls from the sky, it lands smack-dab in the middle of the fishermen’s boat, sinking it.  He asks me to deliver a letter for him while I’m there, which of course I have no objection to.

The teenage boy in me wishes Al Lowe had written this scene.

And then, suddenly, we fall from the sky, into a giant bale of hay.  With a pitchfork sticking out of it.  Which catches our clothes on the way down and strips Zanthia.  

By the time this game came out, I'd never heard anyone younger than our parents use that word to describe a backpack.

Zanthia quickly restores her clothing with a snap of the fingers, another outfit change for another new location. Also, it seems she lost all of her inventory on the way down as well.  As soon as she notices this, a letter falls from the sky.  It’s the one I needed to deliver,  addressed to Farmer Greenberry, Morningmist Valley, Kyrandia, KY”.

Wait, Kyrandia is in Kentucky?  Toto, I don’t think we’re in Kansas anymore.

First thing I do next, of course, is search the haystack for whatever needles I may have found.  I come up with one of my flasks.  Around the screen, I find a couple of stalks of wheat I can take.  I can also sightsee, as there’s a great view of the famous Morningmist Aqueduct and perhaps even one of the most popular adventure game destinations, Stonehenge.

Is that Marmaduke?

South I go, and discover a shack that the game calls a farmhouse.  A man is sitting out front, along with his pet dragon.  I click on him (hoping to pet him, not take him, what kind of evil adventurer do you think I am?!?) and the farmer tells me the pet is “just a puppy”.  I pick up his water bowl, and he starts crying.

I’ll definitely be needing reptile tears again for a spell, I’m sure.

I take the tears in my flask, just because, and replace the bowl, because I’m not a monster.  I talk to the farmer, asking him for directions to the Darkmoon wharf, and he says, “Sure.  That’s where they send most of my mustard crop.”  And then never tells me how to get there.  So, I’m guessing the mustard part is important.

RIP Martin Mull, who never chose a bad part in any film or show.  As for the other actor in this image?  Zenic will be hearing from him soon enough on the blog.

But talking with him further, I learn his name is Farmer Greenberry, so I deliver his mail.  Then, I get his famous mustard recipe: Mix ground radish with vinegar.  Ummm.....?

This caused me to go down a Google rabbit hole, and learn some things.  It seems that the mustard plant is a relative of the radish (radishes are part of the mustard/cabbage family of plants).  That makes this recipe legit!  And finding this link was an added bonus -- a video game helped encourage a home chef!

As I myself do not prefer mustard, this seems interesting to try.  I live in a rare part of the country where even the McDonald’s don’t put mustard on the basic hamburger the way they do in the rest of the country, because the vast majority of people order it without.

On the shelf behind the farmer is a flask of a red liquid.  Conveniently, it’s red wine vinegar.  I take that, and try to explore his farmhouse, the only visible door being the Bilco doors to the basement.  I get denied access, though: “Keep out of my cellar.”  I check out the shuttered window, and Zanthia just critiques the choice of decor. (“Eew!  What bad taste!  He must be a bachelor.”

Hey!  A cutscene!

"Now go to your room.  No playing with any handheld devices.  Um..."

The game was interrupted at that point with a look into Marko and the Hand’s house, where Marko was admonishing his, um... pet?  Apparently, he found Zanthia’s stirring paddle in the Hand’s room.  “If you find any more of Zanthia’s stolen equipment, return it immediately!”

The plot thickens.  Is the hand working against us, perhaps?  Or just a hoarder?

I thought they usually took a two-fisted approach to everything?

West of the farmhouse, I find a waterwheel that powers some sort of machinery.  It’s a hand in the shape of a fist, but I doubt this is the titular “Hand of Fate” the game is named for.  There’s a valve on a pipe leading away from the wheel, I turn it on because I can. I suspect I’ve just solved a puzzle without knowing it.

Cool, my Amazon delivery is here.

The machine’s not working, so I’ll come back to it.  I head back east, and see a delivery boy taking a shipment of mustard away.  I try to follow him, and while I lose him, it brings me to another screen to explore: the city gates.

Maybe I can come back disguised as a horse?

Atop the gates are a pair of guards, obviously influenced by both Monty Python and Nobby and Colon from the Discworld series.  I talk to them repeatedly, trying to get in the gates, but while they rotate through many different humorous ways of saying no, I cannot pass.  Also, a retort I need to remember, even though I work for the man:  “I demand to speak to your superior!”  “Sorry, we’re self employed.”

Towards the end, she starts to repeat the line, “Is there something I can offer you?”  which they decline, but I suspect is not the case.  Looking in my spellbook, I already have partial ingredients for the first spell... I think this is the solution.

I'd prefer no cheese, and some horseradish sauce, and... wait, where's the beef?

I have half of the mustard and unground wheat.  Maybe the farmer has some lettuce?  Let’s go exploring.

I'm a genie in a bottle, baby, you gotta rub me the right way, honey.

Going back from the city gates, at the haystack that tried to expose me indecently, I met a ghost.  Talking to him, he offers to help me with the gate guards if I find him a body to inhabit.  I just need a bottle to contain him.  I dump out those reptile tears (I’m reasonably sure I can get them again) and let the ghost move in.

Why don't you ask him if he's going to stay?  Why don't you ask him if he's going away?

East of the farmhouse, I find a farm!  And a lot to take in here.  First, my alchemist’s magnet that I lost during my free-fall is here.  There’s a pipe connected to an elephant head, spraying water into a moat-like area.  There’s a garden full of plants that aren’t growing, and a scarecrow.

I suspect my use of the water valve before turned on the water to this pipe, but to truly fix this crops, I need to pick up the tusk and bring it into the garden.  Spraying some water on a couple rows of plants, they grow instantly.  “Wow!  That must be very fertile soil!”

I grab some lettuce and some radishes, two of each, because again, I’m greedy.

I check out the scarecrow, which is just a bunch of old clothes.  Hmm.  I have an idea.

If he only had a brain...

I set the ghost onto the scarecrow, and he happily moves in and runs off in the direction of the gates, it seems.  So I head that way also.  

But I was wrong.

That seems wrong.  Someone dressed like that should really be locked up.

It seems the ghost has a history with the farmer, and wants to use his new body to get at him instead.  He taunts the farmer, and a chase ensues, leaving the house unguarded.  And as a result, the cellar door is no longer off-limits.

I have to check my basement, make sure the cheese maker is still there.

Inside the cellar are four horseshoes, arranged in such a way that I suspect the good luck and bad luck will balance each other out.  I meant, “there WERE four horseshoes”, because now, they are mine.  Also, a pair of scissors I’ll haphazardly run off with.

Above where I stand is a basket with a hole in it; I haven’t a clue of it has a use.  But there’s also an ACME brand Cheese Maker, which will provide me with a needed spell ingredient if I can find some milk, I suspect.

Well, back to the haystack, where there’s some sheep I can milk, and a farmer being chased by a haunted scarecrow.  Using the flask that previously contained Casper, I collect the milk.  Using the machine, out comes something Zanthia cannot determine is Colby or Cheddar, but to me, neither is a worthwhile cheese selection.  Still, we have a sandwich ingredient.

Kyrandia is progressive enough that they use clean energy sources.

Back at the unknown machine, it turns out it wasn't working because there was a stick wedged in the water wheel to pause it for a while.  I remove it, and the big fist begins pounding what looks like a giant pestle at work in a smaller mortar.  I place the radish in the machine, and there’s now crushed radish, but I don’t have an appropriate container to hold it.  Going one screen away to steal a dragon’s food dish seems appropriate, and it works.  I then mix the ground radish with the vinegar, and have a bowl of mustard.  I dump that into my cauldron, and proceed to crush the wheat.  Lettuce and cheese get added as well, and suddenly I have a completed spell.  Zanthia muses, “If I fill a flash, will there be a sandwich in it?”

The answer is yes.

In that case, I'd better put my phone on "Do not Disturb" mode...

I head over to the city gates, and offer them the sandwich-filled flask.  “Sorry, we don’t take bribes.” But if I click the flask on myself, it removes the sandwich.  I then decide to leave my sandwich sitting on the ground, asking the guards not to let anyone disturb my picnic as I walk away for a few minutes.

I hide behind the gates as they come out to investigate.  I have a clear path in (although I wonder if I can get my flask back I accidentally left on the ground there?  Oops.) and start to enter the gates, when Zanthia decides to place a FaceTime call to her useless sidekick, Faun.

...after I make this call, I guess.

Interrupting Faun gossiping with a giant frog-like swamp beast, we check on the local doings.  “You’d better hurry.”  It seems Darm has vanished, and Brynn’s Temple just disappeared.

Shame.  That was a beautiful temple.  (See my picture in the introduction post.)

“If you don’t hurry, you’ll be the only Mystic left!”

Zanthia, you probably don't want to know how they make refined sugar then.

And inside the gates, we will save our progress and take a break.  See you next time!

Progress so far.

Session Time: 45 minutes

Total Time: 2 hours