Let's go see what this key gives me access to!
I’ve completed The Secret of Monkey Island, and boy was it an enjoyable ride! I was actually a lot closer to the end than I realised when my last session ended, so I don’t imagine it will take me all that long to finish this off. You may recall that I’d just figured out how to get the key off the wall in LeChuck’s cabin. Well once I had it, I was able to go back into the ship's underbelly and through the hatch that had previously been locked. Within I found a room filled with ghost rats, behind which I could see a large tub of cooking grease. It seemed obvious to me that the grease would be used to open the creaking door up on the deck, but how was I going to get past the huge, vicious rat guarding the way? There was an empty dish in front of it, suggesting that it was hungry or thirsty, so when I noticed that one of the other rats looked drunk, I thought I’d try filling the dish with grog. The rat drank it up immediately, and then rolled onto its back, unconscious. This allowed me to walk over and collect a glob of the grease, which I immediately took with me back up to the ship’s deck. As expected, I was able to use the grease on the door to stop it from squeaking, and then opened the door without drawing any attention to myself.
Because I know a drunk ghost rat when I see one!
It's Grease frightening!!! (sorry)
What's behind door number two?
Undead tools!? Reminds me of Twilight!
An old root? That doesn't sound very appealing!
It sure feels good to take that eyeball necklace off!
I was just thinking how it would be really nice if the game didn’t make me find my way back to the surface of the island when a message popped up saying: “A long walk, a brief row, and a short hike later...” The game had gone one better, taking me all the way back to the cannibal’s village without making me go through the motions of travel! I informed the cannibals of my success in stealing their root back for them, then handed it over so they could get to work. “Wow! Look, he’s not kidding! Here it is! He’s not such a wimp after all!” The three cannibals went off to make the brew, asking me to wait for their return. As I stood waiting, the three headed monkey that someone mentioned on the blog appeared for no particular reason! It ran off just as the natives returned with the brew: “There it is. One squirt of that stuff and the ectoplasm really hits the fan! And if you have any left over, it’s delicious with a little vanilla ice cream.” I was super keen to go and try out the mixture, so thankfully I was automatically transported back to the ship as soon as I walked out of the village...only there was no ship there anymore!!! LeChuck’s first mate was standing on the cliff face overlooking the lava, so I asked him where the ship had gone. His response was more than a little concerning: “They all left for the wedding.” I asked him for more information regarding the wedding, despite knowing exactly what he was going to say. “LeChuck is marrying the Governor of Melee Island.” Yep, that’s what I thought he was going to say. Damn!
The Elder Scrolls could really learn from this.
Good times ahead!
Well at least I got to see it eventually!
Um...that seems unlikely.
I was pretty intrigued as to why Bob had remained beneath the surface of Monkey Island rather than go to the wedding, so asked him. “My head fell into the lava there, and I had to chase after it, and when I came back they had gone! Shame, too. I hate to miss the wedding.” There was only one more thing I needed to know, which was where the location of the wedding would be. Fortunately Bob had no qualms in revealing that LeChuck and Elaine’s wedding was to be held in the church on Melee Island! Well that explained the church’s purpose, which was something I’d wondered about earlier in the game. There seemed nothing else to talk about, but as I was about to head back through the catacombs, my crew arrived on the scene! Apparently they’d been looking everywhere for me, but I was more interested in how they’d managed to get through the catacombs without the head of the navigator. Much to my enjoyment, they claimed complete ignorance on the subject, making me look completely insane when I tried to describe the horrible things I’d seen and the use of the severed head. Clearly the game had no intention of explaining how they actually got there, and before I knew it the words “Last Part: Guybrush Kicks Butt” were on the screen! Things were being pushed along rapidly at this point, and all of a sudden I found myself standing on the dock back on Melee Island. My crew had run off to find more sunscreen, so once again the task of saving the day was left entirely up to me.
To think I had to find this crew to be able to sail to Monkey Island. They've been completely useless to me!
Haven't I been kicking butt up until now?!
If you want something done...
I immediately noticed that there were now only two items in my inventory, being my pieces of eight, and the magic seltzer bottle containing the ghost-dissolving solution. I began walking in the direction of the church, only for a ghost pirate to confront me! I had a few dialogue options available, but all of them seemed to involve spraying the solution on him. I chose “I’m selling this fine mouthwash”, and then watched as Guybrush dissolved the ghost with a single spray! I did the same thing to a ghost that was requesting invitations to the wedding in the centre of town, giving me a clear path to the church. On entering I found a priest at the lectern, clearly in the process of marrying LeChuck and Elaine: “...if there be any man with reason that these two...er...people should not be united in blissful matrimony, let him speak now or forever hold his peace.” This was my chance, so I yelled out “STOP THE WEDDING!!” Unsurprisingly this interruption did not impress LeChuck, and when I informed him of my intentions to stop the proceedings, he demanded to know how I planned to achieve this goal. While I had noticed that Elaine hadn’t turned around throughout all of this, I was still pretty surprised when another Elaine dropped down from the ceiling attached to a rope! What the hell was going on?! LeChuck was just as surprised as me, as was the priest. Elaine cleared things up: “Oh, Guybrush, you mad fool! I’m impressed that you came to rescue me, but it really wasn’t necessary. I had everything well in hand. Unfortunately, your arrival has made it necessary for me to tip my hand early.”
Who you gonna call?
Why yes I do...it's right here in this bottle!
I just noticed now that there are "people" sitting in the right pews but not the left. Nice!
How can you not love a woman that can make an entrance like this one!?
Thankfully one of my dialogue options at this point asked the question I was desperate to ask: “If you’re here, then who’s that in the dress?” Right at that moment the wedding dress dropped to the ground, revealing two monkeys! The larger one had a bottle not dissimilar to my own in its hands, but Elaine warned me not to move too quickly: “Don’t scare them! They have my ghost-zapping root beer bottle!” Guybrush being Guybrush, he offered to get the bottle for Elaine, scaring the two monkeys away in the process. Elaine wasn’t pleased: “Nice going, Guybrush. Now I’ve got to chase them down to get my voodoo root beer back.” With Elaine off chasing the monkeys, LeChuck turned his attention back to me: “You dared to come here and confront me! I can’t believe your audacity!” I of course still had my own bottle of ghost-melting liquid, so tried to use it: “Take THIS, you vaporous voodoo vermin! You’ll never menace decent, tangible pirates again you billowing bag of...of...of something that begins with b!” Clearly all the insult lessons had amounted to nothing, but even worse, the damn pump on the bottle was jammed with pocket lint! LeChuck took his opportunity, his Popeye style punch knocking Guybrush high above Melee Island. For the next period of time, I laughed as LeChuck launched Guybrush from location to location, with our poor hero finally lodging within the grog vending machine at Stan’s Previously Owned Vessels.
What's this monkey business?!
Rarely is it so entertaining to watch your own character get repeatedly bashed!
Never one to miss an opportunity, Stan wandered out and began another sales pitch, ignoring the fact that I was completely submerged in the vending machine: “Good to see you, son. How’s the ship? If you’re interested in trading up, I can give you a fair price for it.” He even tried his pitch on LeChuck when he arrived on the scene, only for the undead pirate to smash him into orbit also. Once Stan was out of the way, LeChuck turned his attention to the vending machine, twisting it this way and that in an attempt to get me out. Finally he pulled me out through the slot at the base, which can’t have felt particularly pleasant. As LeChuck prepared to punch me in the face again, I noticed a green bottle of root beer had fallen out of the vending machine alongside me. I picked it up, and used it on LeChuck, not completely certain whether or not root beer would have the same effect as the brew the cannibals had mixed earlier. As theliquid hit LeChuck in the face, he began to choke and then scream in pain! His head exploded upwards into the sky, leaving nothing but a headless skeleton on the ground, which then dissolved before my eyes! LeChuck was gone! To my utter delight, the words “Instant Replay” then flashed at the bottom of the screen, and I was given not one, but two replayed views (with the second one being Blimp-Cam) of the ghost pirate’s demise. As his head reached a certain distance above the island, it exploded into numerous colourful fireworks!
Um...I wouldn't stand there if I was...actually, never mind...carry on!
This seemed a bad time to lose one's head!
Hmmm...where have I seen this before?
Emmanuelle!!! Clearly LucasArts plagiarized this classic game!
At this point Elaine wandered up to join me, and the two of watched the light show above us. Guybrush made a fine observation: “You know, LeChuck was a deviant, obnoxious, slithery, creepy-crawly sort of a guy, but I’ll say one thing for him. He sure looks nice exploding against the night sky.” Elaine agreed, stating how romantic the whole scene was, and offered to buy Guybrush a root beer. Our hero approved of the idea, but his suggestion that there might be more in Stan’s vending machine made him wonder what had become of the overly-enthusiastic salesman. I was then very briefly shown Stan crashing into the ocean way out to sea, having finally returned to Earth after his LeChuck-induced orbit was complete. This wasn’t the only loose end tied up though, as Guybrush then commented that he’d forgotten all about his promise to bring Herman Toothrot back to Melee Island. The view once again changed, this time showing Herman standing on one of the Monkey Island beaches, questioning whether or not Guybrush had left without him. There’s no doubt that Guybrush was now a hero, but he was still a pirate, and that meant not always living a life of honour and loyalty. As funny as all of this was, it was the game’s final moments that made me laugh out loud. Guybrush commented to Elaine that at least he’d learned something from this whole experience, and when she asked what it was, I was given the chance to choose between three dialogue responses. I chose “Never pay more than 20 bucks for a computer game”, just to see what would happen. Elaine asked me what I was talking about, and the game’s fitting final sentence was “I don’t know, I’m not sure why I said that.” Love it!!! Final Rating post to come on the weekend...
Aaawwww, what an attractive couple! You might want to keep this one away from Larry, Guybrush!
I'm sure comic timing in a computer game is not always easy, but LucasArts continually nailed it in this game.
I absolutely love this final line. I'll have to go see what the other two dialogue options produce though...
Well at least we have YouTube!
A fair demand, and one I must comply with now...
Session Time: 0 hours 30 minutesTotal Time: 9 hours 30 minutes