Game 23: Zak McKracken - Red Knobs and Broomsticks

Zak McKracken Journal Entry 3: “Wow! Not only did I retrieve an ancient blue crystal from the cave in Seattle, I’ve since used it to meet the girl of my dreams (literally), Annie! She’s really amazing and told me she also knew about me from her own dreams! If that’s not strange enough, her friends Melissa and Leslie are currently on Mars, having converted their van into a spaceship by following instructions communicated to them by aliens. I saw something about this on the news recently, but I had no idea I was going to get wrapped up in it somehow. Annie and I are going to try to find the second half of the yellow crystal (she already had the first), with which we apparently will be able to travel to Mars too! We might all just be insane, but something tells me I'm about to set out on the biggest adventure of my life!”

Come sit by the fire my friends and make yourself comfortable. I have a story to tell that you simly must hear.

At the end of last post, I’d just figured out how to get the lighter on the plane, which in turn allowed me to light the fire in the cave in Seattle. With that done, I crossed to the strange markings that I hadn’t been able to view earlier. Looking at them revealed that they looked “like an unfinished drawing made of yellow dots”, so the solution to this particular puzzle was really pretty straight forward. I used the yellow crayon I had in my possession to join the dots, forming an Egyptian ankh. This caused the wall to open up into a doorway, which I eagerly moved through, intrigued as to what might lie beyond.

Apparently I had a magical Egyptian crayon beneath my kitchen sink all along

Lo and behold, the next chamber contained a blue crystal upon a pedestal, held in place by some sort of contraption. I immediately assumed that the crystal must be the artefact I needed to put in the door slot back in San Francisco, and set about trying to retrieve it. My first thought was that the platform to the right might act as some sort of switch. I’d played enough Tomb Raider games to start thinking about how I might use gravity as part of the solution, but it turned out that I couldn’t do anything with the platform at all. As soon as I noticed the infrared sensor beneath the pedestal, I thought I’d try using my TV remote control on it. I never actually expected it to work, but it did! It’s a bit ridiculous really, but I was pretty happy to have the crystal in my possession.

Ancient artifacts protected by infrared security systems in Seattle

I could find nothing else to do in Seattle, so I flew back to San Francisco to put the artefact in the slot. As soon as I did, Annie opened the door and asked me where I got it. Instead of explaining, I told her she had been in my dream, to which she responded by telling me I’d been in hers! I followed her into her apartment, and she began telling me about the strange dream in which her and her two friends had had dreams sent to them by “the Ancient Ones”. The aliens told her about me, and they also described how to build a device, for which the blue crystal was a part. Annie then gave me half of the yellow crystal, and told me that if I could find the other half, I’d gain the ability to join her friends on Mars.

Um...a cave...in Seattle...while hunting for a two-headed squirrel

Of course to get to Mars, I was going to need a spacesuit. She gave me no idea how I was going to make said spacesuit, but I figured that would become obvious down the track. I had the feeling that the wetsuit and the fishbowl might be part of it, but who knows. Finally, Annie told me that “from now on, we will all share knowledge through our dreams”. Hmmm...does that mean we can communicate, but only if I go to sleep? Do they have to be asleep too? As soon as she finished speaking, I noticed I now had a Switch verb in the menu, which would allow me to switch between Zak, Annie, Melissa and Leslie, with the last two being the co-ed girls on Mars. I couldn’t really contain myself, so I switched to Melissa to see Mars for the first time.

Yeah, sure! Why not!

Suddenly I witnessed a small cut-scene of the Mars landscape before I took control of Melissa on the surface. Leslie and I were standing next to our converted van, bored of waiting for instructions from the aliens. The first thing I did was hop into the van to see what was on the inside. I found a digital audio tape in the radio, which contained some “darkeen tones” by Razor, one of the characters from Maniac Mansion. I picked up the tape, and then opened the glovebox, which contained a fuse and two cashcards. I collected those items too. I noticed I could play the tape in the boom box on the dashboard, and I also had the ability to record, but couldn’t think of any reason I might do that. Before I left the van, I refilled my oxygen tank with the valve below the glovebox. Reading my helmet then told me I had one hour of oxygen in my suit. Alright, it was time to explore Mars!

I knew Kombi vans were sturdy, but who knew they could survive passing through Earth and Mars' atmospheres?!

Just to the left of the van I found a building. The sign on the wall told me it was called The Friendly Hostel. The door was open, so I walked in. Inside were lots of controls and monitors, but thankfully there were only a couple of things I could interact with. There was a metal plate that appeared to be screwed shut, a button next to the door leading outside and another leading further into the hostel, as well as a light above each door. I quickly figured out that the buttons must open and close the doors, but that there was currently no power. It seemed obvious that I needed to remove the plate from the wall and fix the power problem, but I didn’t have any way of doing that. I left the hostel the way I came in.

HAL, I won't argue with you anymore! Open the door!

Further to the left of the van I came across a monolith that appeared to be a vending machine of sorts. If I paid $100, I could buy a token to use the tram. I bought one, but attempting to hop on the tram failed as it also appeared to be without power. I went back to the hostel and tried unscrewing the metal plate with the token. It worked, and I soon found that the plate covered a fuse box. I just so happened to have a fuse, so I removed the old one (which crumbled at my touch) and put the one from the van in its place. I’d seen enough sci-fi movies to know that I should close the door to outside before opening the inner one. I topped up Leslie’s oxygen and brought her inside before I did that though.

You gotta love universal currency!

Through the inner door was a sleeping area, with bunk beds and a locker. I opened the locker and found a can of gas. I tried picking it up, but was told that it was “for a different game”. I’d already read about this little joke previously but had forgotten, so had a good laugh. The gas is for the chainsaw that I picked up in Maniac Mansion, but could never use because it had no fuel. I tried opening the second locker, but was told it wouldn’t open. Did I need a key? I moved onto the bunks and noticed there was something yellow underneath the blanket. I tried picking it up, but apparently I was too scared to do it. I tried again, and this time I reluctantly removed the cover, revealing A DEAD ALIEN!!!!!

Overreaction much?! Imagine if it had of been alive!

At least, that’s what Melissa thought it was. Any attempt to pick up the broom-like item (that had eyes) resulted in me being told that there was no way in hell that was going to happen. While Melissa was running around the room in fright, I noticed something about the locker I hadn’t before. There was some tape on one side of it. Using the “What is” action, I discovered that it was vinyl tape, which I removed and added to my inventory. I then came across a ladder to the right of the bunks which strangely (given it was about one and a half times bigger than me), I was also able to add to my inventory. Suddenly it dawned on me that perhaps the vinyl tape was the reason I couldn’t open the locker, and I was right. Inside was a flashlight, making this trip to the hostel a rather productive one.

More item hoarding joy!

All that was left to do was to see if I could do something with the broom with eyes. I took control of Leslie and brought her into the room to see whether she would have the guts to pick it up. Clearly braver than Melissa, Leslie picked it up without any fuss, revealing the first character specific puzzle in Zak McKracken. I already knew what the broom was going to be for, as I’d noticed the sand covered structure just outside the hostel. However, before I tested that theory, I had another one I wanted to try. I closed the door, and took off both girls’ helmets to get a look at them. Leslie has rather striking pink hair, which was unexpected, and it was nice to put a face to the girls before continuing the adventure.

Pink...before she went blonde.

I put both Melissa and Leslie’s helmets back on, and then took control of Leslie to go out (collecting the fuse on the way) and use the broom on the sand. Below the sand was a solar panel, which I immediately realised would give the tram power. Excited to find out where it went, I bought a token for Leslie, and moved both girls onto the tram. We were taken left of screen along the tracks to the base of a pyramid, where I regained control. Getting out of the tram I found another token vending machine, but this time it was badly damaged. The slot for payment had been entirely blown away, leaving me with no way to purchase any more tokens and therefore no way to get back to the van. Was I dead ended? Oh well, I decided to continue on and see what the pyramid held.

I suppose Saladin also took limestone from the Mars pyramids to build his palace?

Approaching the pyramid, I found a doorway covered with sand. I once again used the broom with eyes to clear the sand away, but this time the broom actually started moving by itself and...talking! It was an alien all along! After whinging about how badly it had been treated, the broom left to find somewhere it could get some proper rest, leaving me to try to find a way to open the door. There was a large key hole, but I had nothing that could act as a key, nor did I have anything I could try to open the door with. There was also the fairly significant problem that I only had a few minutes air left! Since I had no remaining tokens to take the tram back to replenish my air supply, I spent those remaining few minutes trying everything I could think of on both the pyramid door and the damaged monolith. Nothing worked, so I figured whatever I needed must need to be taken with me on the tram.

Proof that aliens have invaded Earth and are simply disguised as common household broomsticks

I restored back to just before I hopped on the tram, and tried to think what else I might be able to do on Mars. I realised I hadn’t yet seen if there was anything to the right of the van. On my way to finding out, I stopped in at the van to see if I could figure out what I was supposed to do with the boom box. I tried putting the audio tape in it and recording, but it wouldn’t work. I then tried applying the vinyl tape to the audio tape and was told that I could now record on it. Winner! While I was stoked I could now record something, I could think of nothing that I might want to record. The radio only played white noise and there’d been no other noises of note since I arrived on Mars. I did however realise that I could pick up the boom box, so I took it with me to explore the right hand side of the van.

Pimp my Kombi

Walking in that direction, I came across another puzzle. There were three buttons on a wall, each situated on curved lines. Pressing the lowest button made a sound, but I wasn’t able to reach the other buttons. I used my ladder and was then able to reach them, with the result being they made slightly different toned sounds. There didn’t appear to be anything else of interest and I couldn’t travel any further past that screen. Hmmmmm…was I supposed to be pressing the buttons in a particular order? Was I supposed to record something using the boom box? I tried recording while pressing one of the buttons and found I could actually record the sound, but only one at a time. I thought I would try getting Leslie to press one button, then Melissa to press the next, before finally playing back the third from the boom box, but that process took just as long as pressing them all with one character.

Hmmm...are the buttons supposed to represent the planets in orbit around the sun?

I started to wonder whether this puzzle can only be solved with three people. Maybe if Zak was also on Mars, we’d be able to press all three buttons simultaneously, but then I couldn’t see any way that I would command more than one character to act at once. Maybe there’s a hint back on Earth as to what I need to do both at the pyramid and at the door with the buttons on it. After all, there are still numerous countries to visit. I switched back to Zak and Annie in her apartment, ready to visit some more locations and hopefully reveal some previously unknown information. Unfortunately, I totally forgot that Leslie and Melissa had limited oxygen, so I’d basically left them on Mars to die. I restored to Mars and moved the girls back into the hostel where they could breathe while I figured out what their next move should be. They’re still there now…waiting…

Humurously, Leslies hair changes colour every time I put her helmet on and then take it off again. Neat!

Session Time: 1 hour 00 minutes

Total Time: 3 hours 30 minutes

Note Regarding Spoilers and Companion Assist Points: I've recently written a set of rules regarding spoilers and companion assist points. Please read it here before making any comments that could be considered a spoiler in any way. The short of it is that no points will be given for hints or spoilers given in advance of me requiring one. Please...try not to spoil any part of the game for me...unless I really obviously need the help...or I specifically request assistance. In this instance, I've not made any requests for assistance. Thanks!

Game 23: Zak McKracken - Headline Solutions

Zak McKracken Journal Entry 2: “Would you believe it! I found that damn two-headed squirrel my boss was at me about! To be honest I couldn’t care less though, and I’m much more interested in figuring out what my dream meant, and how that cute girl on the TV came to be in it. Anyway, I’ve done my duty and travelled to Seattle to get this story, but I don’t plan to stop there. I’m going to find a real story, and if I can get close to solving the mystery of how and why we’re all being made stupider, I’m gonna go for it. Now where does this cave lead...”

Who knows where I put that oversized bobby pin. I don't want to think about it really.

At the end of my last post, I’d just finished scouring San Francisco for objects of interest. I was pretty sure I’d been everywhere I could go, so it was time to take stock of what I had, and see if I could figure out what I needed to do with all this stuff. The first thing that came to mind was the application I’d filled in. I went back to my apartment and stuffed it in the mailbox. I had to assume that at some point a mailman would come by and pick it up, although this certainly doesn’t happen in my neighbourhood. The next thing I decided to do was to head back to my kitchen, and more specifically, to see whether I now had the necessary tools to do something with the sink.

Do postmen really collect mail out of mailboxes anywhere in the world?

I used the monkey wrench to unscrew the pipe beneath the sink. This didn’t however result in the pipe being added to my inventory, so I could only assume that the purpose of doing so had more to do with the sink than the pipe. I looked through my inventory again, but I still couldn’t see anything that looked like it might require processing. At least now I knew that at some point I was going to put something through the processor, and collect the remains as it fell out of the pipe beneath. Putting the sink to one side for a bit, I tried to think about places I hadn’t yet achieved anything. The drop slot came to mind, but I still didn’t have an artefact to put in it. Then I remembered the baker!

Only in adventure games would you try flooding your own kitchen incase that was the right thing to do

I went back to the baker and rang the bell again. Once again he came to the window and told me to go away. What would make him let me in? Could I even get in, or was I supposed to do something else with him? Suddenly I had the ridiculous notion that maybe if I put the hat and nose glasses on, the baker might think I was someone else...or something. In hindsight it was a stupid idea, but I didn't know what else to do. This little act of desperation surprisingly resulted in me solving two puzzles, but not the way I expected to. Firstly, when I pressed the doorbell again, the baker got totally fed up with me and threw some horribly stale bread at me. Secondly, as soon as I saw myself in disguise, I was immediately reminded of the “cowboy” in the phone company.

Familiar much?

I can’t say I like puzzles that require the player to try the same thing multiple times before success suddenly occurs. The fishing section in King’s Quest IV comes to mind, although I have to admit the baker puzzle in Zak McKracken is nowhere near as bad as that one. At least with this sequence, the baker seemed quite irritated the first time I buzzed him, and then even more irritated the second time. I guess some players would wonder whether they could push him over the edge by bugging him a third time, but I tend to try things once before moving onto other things. The good news was that I now had some really hard bread, and I actually had a fair idea what I might need to do with it. The compressor!

I tried to make bread once and it may actually have been hard enough to do this

Before I went back to the kitchen though, I decided I would follow my instincts regarding the hat and nose glasses. When I re-entered the phone company, I knew for certain that somehow my disguise was linked to the representative behind the counter. I’d earlier tried and failed to open the counter door, but I made another attempt with my new look. I was able to waltz straight in and the guy treated me like I worked there. It suddenly dawned on me that the guy was actually an alien! The nose glasses were a disguise for him to pass as human, and the two little holes in his hat were positioned so he could see. He now thought I was one of them! It also dawned on me that I probably didn’t need to pay my phone bill earlier, and could have wiped the balance out on the computer system.

For aliens that managed to make it all the way to Earth, they really are stupid

I figured there was every chance I would have to start the game over again at some point, and I’d test the phone bill theory at that point. In the meantime, I wanted to know what was out the back of the phone company. I opened the door and walked through, to find myself right next to the humming machine I’d seen in the cut-scene! Obviously I couldn’t turn it off, as the two settings were either ON or ON and there was no other ways I could see to interact with it. Besides, that would make for a pretty crappy game if I could just turn the machine off and save humanity after an hour or play. Interestingly there was another lever just to the right of the machine, but that merely turned a force-field on for a vacant cell. Whatever happens in this room must happen later.

How to shut down a machine with no shut down mechanism...hmmm...

With that itch scratched, I wandered home to see whether I could grind the stale bread down in the sink compressor. It worked just as I expected it to, and the result was a bunch of breadcrumbs that I still had no purpose for. While I was in my apartment, I thought I would check my messages on the answering machine. There was one from my mother, but all she had to say was that I should try to date someone like the girl on the artefact ad, because she looks like my type and lives right near me. I might just do that! Alright, I’d done everything I could think of! I’d achieved at least something at every location in San Francisco apart from the drop slot, but I was convinced the artefact would not be found without travelling somewhere else. It was time to see whether I could get on that bus!

Another example of doing something just because I can. I don't need either bread or breadcrumbs at this stage.

I was initially concerned to find that the bus driver was still asleep, so I wasn’t able to get on. Unlike the first time I tried though, this time I spent some time going through my inventory to see whether I had any means to wake him up. It didn’t take me long to realise the kazoo was the answer! The instrument woke the driver up and I was then able to get on the bus, ending my theory that I wouldn’t be able to get on the bus until I’d done everything I needed to in San Francisco. I could have used the kazoo as soon as I left my apartment and nothing would have stopped me from travelling to the airport and beyond. Still, I felt much more comfortable knowing that I’d achieved so much before moving on to the wider world.

Don't ask me why I'm still in disguise. I thought it might be important.

I swiped my cashcard and was transported to the airport. There was a ticket machine, but I already had a ticket to Seattle, and a newspaper vending machine, but it was recommended I read the headlines instead of purchasing one. That left only one thing of interest in the airport itself, which was a religious nut trying to sell me a book called How to Raise Your Consciousness and Lower Your Golf Score. I thought “what the heck” and gave him my cashcard to pay the $42 asking rate. When I tried to read it I was told that I will read it later, so there was nothing else to do but to enter the boarding gate. I kind of expected to find myself in Seattle, so I was a bit surprised to reappear on a plane, being shown to my seat by a cranky stewardess.

A Hari Krishna at the airport. That's the second game to feature that in the last couple of months.

The Hari Krishna wasn't the only similarity to Larry 2. Zak McKracken also utilizes the non-caring, brutally honest stewardess jokes on the plane that appeared in that game. I'm not suggesting anything sinister was going on, as both games were released within a couple of months of each other. It still raises a smile here, despite that similarity, but I soon found myself sitting in my chair with a packet of peanuts, wondering exactly what I was supposed to be doing. It was clear that this wasn’t just a cut-scene, so I got up and started exploring the plane. If I tried to access anyone’s luggage, the stewardess would come and tell me to sit down, and she’d do the same if I tried to enter her cabin. The only place I was allowed to fully investigate was the toilet at the back. I picked up some toilet paper, and soon figured out that if I rang the bell, the stewardess would come all the way to th back to investigate. Perhaps I was supposed to ring the bell as a distraction and then go and do something else?

Airport security really wasn't very good back in 1997. I boarded a plane wearing nose glasses!

Well, I tried everything I could think of. I tried opening the luggage bins, playing around with the microwave, and even opening the door to outside, but she would always rush back and tell me to sit down. Just when I was starting to run out of ideas, the plane landed in Seattle and I was quickly shuffled off. I didn’t know whether I’d missed the point of the flight sequence altogether, or whether I just didn’t have the necessary item to do whatever was necessary, but figured there would be quite a few flights to come to recover. It was time to see what was waiting for me in Seattle! However, before I had any chance to find out, the screen flicked to another cut-scene at the stupidity machine.

If only plane toilets were this big!

This time the guarding alien was “dancing like a gloon” and acting even more stupid than before. His companion was not at all impressed, and warned him that there was still a chance that someone might “discover and activate the Skolarian device”, whatever that is. Apparently it’s the only thing that can stop their world-conquering plan! I guess that’s what I’ll be discovering then, so I better get on with it. Seattle didn’t look at all like I expected it to. I’d anticipated another city landscape, yet I found myself standing outside in front of Mount Rainier (is that really right next to the airport?). I did what I always do when I enter a new screen. I clicked “What is”, and moved my cursor around to see what objects I was going to be able to interact with. I came across a tree branch, some loose dirt, and a two-headed squirrel!

Oh the Skolarian Device! I hadn't thought of that!

Yes, that’s right! It took me all of ten seconds to find the two-headed squirrel my boss sent me to Seattle to track down. Aggressive little bugger too! If I tried to go near it, the squirrel would attack me with both sets of teeth, although it apparently couldn’t do any damage to me. My first thought was that I was supposed to hit it with the tree branch, but since I’d already read Ilmari’s challenge about not hurting any animals in the game, I figured there must be a non-violent approach. Then I remembered that I’d just been given some peanuts on the plane, and well, all squirrels like nuts! That turned out to be the right thing to do, as the squirrel took the nuts and went away. I was then able to use the tree branch on the loose dirt to open up a cave, which I entered.

Ilmari won't be happy with me if I do this!

I couldn’t see anything inside the cave. By that I mean it was pitch black in there, and I was forced to pixel-hunt with no reference points at all. I came across an abandoned bird nest, a fire pit, and the squirrel, whose own nest was in there too. I picked up the bird nest and put it in the fire pit, and was then told that I needed more wood. I put the tree branch in the pit too, and started to think about how I might light a fire. There was nothing in my inventory that might achieve that goal, and despite looking for a long time, there didn’t appear to be anything in the cave that would help either. I knew there were some strange markings on the wall, but without light, I was stuffed. For the first time in the game, I was well and truly stuck. My only option was to fall back on the one thing I’d been planning to do for a while, but until this point had been making solid progress without it. It was time to RTFM!

I was totally in the dark about what to do next. Hey, I'm a dad, so I'm allowed to tell dad jokes!

The only reason I hadn’t read the manual previously, and in particular the National Inquisitor that came with it, was that I knew none of it would mean anything to me. It’s all humorous nonsense really, and only starts to make sense when you can apply all the silliness to situations you come across in the game. Some of the articles didn’t relate to anything I’d come across so far, but quite a few of them did. In fact, reading the National Inquisitor is just about imperative for making sense of some of what has happened in the game thus far, and I’m really bloody glad I found out about it (I think it was rotgrub that told me about it so cheers for that!). This is what I found out:

Surely there are more direct, and more reliable, ways to attempt murder.

Firstly, there was an article about a teenager trying to kill his parents by exploding eggs in a microwave. Well, that explained what I was supposed to do on the plane, but I still didn’t know how I would use the microwave without the stewardess catching me. Secondly, there was an article about how bad jetlag is on the body and the mind. It talked about how stewardesses were also being affected by it and getting in bad moods, which would explain why the stewardess I had, was so grumpy. Most importantly though, it mentioned that some passengers thought it was funny to make bad messes on planes to see how far over the edge they could send the poor jetlagged stewardesses. There were also articles about the use of cashcards, the sink processor, the two-headed squirrel, and even the book on finding enlightenment while playing better golf.

If anyone does cure jetlag, they truly deserve a nobel prize!

Instead of just restoring to the plane, I took the opportunity to start over and avoid paying the phone bill this time. I also thought I might see something else of note that clicked with what I’d read, but it turned out I didn’t. I did avoid paying the bill though, which saves $1138 (10 points to Lars-Erik for picking up on the THX – 1138 reference. I can’t believe I missed it!). Once I got back to the plane, the solution was actually pretty obvious. I used the toilet paper to block the sink and then turned the tap on. That caused a mess alright, and I was then able to put the egg in the microwave, which subsequently exploded. Investigating the plane while the stewardess was occupied revealed two important items. An oxygen tank in one of the luggage bins, and a lighter under the spare seat cushion! That’s exactly what I needed!

More plane security issues. Someone brought a lighter onboard!?

Once again I think this post has run its course. There’s something about this game that takes a heck of a lot of writing to describe. I’m actually interested to find out what you guys think about me spending so much time detailing what only covers two and a half hours in total. Is it too much!? In the end I do this for your enjoyment as the reader, so please let me know if that entertainment factor is running thin. I feel much better about the game having read the newspaper articles, but I’m not entirely sure how I feel about the game’s reliance on an external source to really make sense. I guess it’s not a requirement to read it, and I’m sure many players have finished the game without it, but it got me through a sticky situation and made Zak’s world seem much more real to me, which is a good thing I guess.

I'll just settle in here next to the fire for a while. See you all in a day or two!

Session Time: 1 hours 30 minutes

Total Time: 2 hours 30 minutes

Note Regarding Spoilers and Companion Assist Points: I've recently written a set of rules regarding spoilers and companion assist points. Please read it here before making any comments that could be considered a spoiler in any way. The short of it is that no points will be given for hints or spoilers given in advance of me requiring one. Please...try not to spoil any part of the game for me...unless I really obviously need the help...or I specifically request assistance. In this instance, I've not made any requests for assistance. Thanks!

Game 23: Zak McKracken - Compulsive Hoarding

Zak McKracken Journal Entry 1: “I really hate my boss! Being a writer for a newspaper had always been a dream of mine, but now I find myself being ordered to track down two-headed squirrels in Seattle rather than writing anything of real social value. If only my life was as interesting as the dream I had last night! It was too weird to even describe, but strangely I saw a girl on TV today that I swear was in it! I can only assume that I’d seen that advertisement before and didn’t have some sort of premonition. Anyway, for some reason I decided to collect a whole heap of stuff today to take with me and possibly overspent at Lou’s Loans. Oh well, I’ve always wanted a guitar and a wet suit, and I had the cash. I’m off to hunt down that damn squirrel!”

I'm unlikely to have a job at this rate!

I haven’t progressed far enough into Zak McKracken to make any sort of fair judgement, but my first session was one filled with enjoyment and a fair amount of uncertainty. I don’t know what the rules of the game are yet, but I’m starting to get the feeling that this is not going to be any easy journey. I also have to say that Zak’s motivations, and therefore my own, are really very unclear at this point. I’m doing lots of stuff, but with no real purpose! I’m picking up everything I can find, buying crap-loads of things, and even stealing stuff, but with no real purpose at all. I assume as the game progresses that I’ll find puzzles to apply all this stuff to, but most games drop you into a situation where collecting stuff kinda makes sense. I’m not on an alien base, or in a fantasy land, or even in a monster infested mansion...I’m just wandering my hometown, collecting shit.

No...I can't explain it either.

The intro to the game is one the more bizarre you’re likely to come across. It begins with our hero, Zak McKracken, arguing with his boss about the stupid stories he’s being forced to write for The National Inquisitor. Clearly the newspaper is only interested in sensationalised drama, such as UFO sightings, and not the sort of serious, Pulitzer potential news articles that Zak is interested in writing. The boss gives Zak a ticket to Seattle to get a story about a two headed squirrel, and sends him on his way. As soon as that discussion is over, we’re thrown into the dream world of Zak, complete with aliens, cute girls, and giant nose glasses! I guess it’s a bit like a movie, where the audience witnesses a dramatic scene before experiencing a music-accompanied intro, complete with credits, and then finally starting the main character progression from there.

I'm not sure what it is, but I just feel like there's something between us right now.

Once I had control of Zak, I found myself in his bedroom, with no real motivation apart from the ticket to Seattle in my inventory. What did the dream mean? Who was the girl in it? Oh well, it was time to go find out I guess! Having already played through Maniac Mansion, the SCUMM interface was immediately familiar to me, so I set about item hunting as adventure games often demand. I picked up a fish (humorously named Sushi) in a fishbowl, found a “kazoo” in the desk drawer, and a phone bill in the set of drawers next to the bed. The kazoo appears to be a wind instrument that plays a little tune when used, while the phone bill had the rather scary amount of $1138 on it!

After Psycho, the SCUMM interface is orgasmic (no...not really!)

I could see a green item underneath the desk, but trying to picking it up only succeeded in pushing it further out of my reach. I then noticed a part of the wall that looked a bit odd, and putting the cursor over it revealed it was a bit of torn wallpaper. I added that to my inventory too, and then tried playing around with the phone and answering machine. I knew of no numbers to call, and there were no messages recorded, so all that was left to do was try to get that green thing under the desk. I looked at my inventory, and the only item that looked even remotely like it might work was the piece of wallpaper. Using it on the green item worked, with the end result being that I now had a cashcard in my possession! I can only assume the wallpaper was sticky and allowed me to attach it to the card and drag it out.

I finally got a chance to rip into the horrible light blue walls that appear in most eighties adventure games

Deciding there was nothing else worth investigating; I open the door and walked out. Suddenly I was watching a cut-scene of two aliens standing in front of a large machine. The machine had two settings on it, both of which were on, and the aliens made reference to a boss called The King. I knew before playing the game that the plot involved a machine designed to make the human race stupider, but I didn’t expect to see it so early in the game. It immediately brought Maniac Mansion to mind, which also had numerous cut-scenes showing exactly what the bad guys were up to while the heroes made their gradual way through various puzzles. Anyway, it was obvious from the scene that the aliens aren’t all that smart themselves, or at least are just as affected by the machine.

It helps that the machine can only be set to ON or ON.

Once the cut-scene ended, I found myself in a lounge room, which contained a large TV that would no doubt have appeared futuristic when the game was made. I was pretty keen to see what was happening in the Olympics, so I tried turning it on. Sadly, there were no controls on it, but the infrared receiver suggested a remote control must be around somewhere. Where would I find a remote control? Under the lounge cushion of course! I picked it up and tried turning on the TV again, but it still didn’t work. The second cushion was rather oddly placed next to the TV, so I picked it up and replaced it, revealing that the TV plug wasn’t attached to the wall. Being in IT, I immediately had a hunch that plugging the TV in might then allow me to turn it on using the remote.  Unsurprisingly I was correct (years of experience I guess)!

There wasn't a lot of thought put into the positioning of the TV and the lounge

A news reporter spoke about a couple of co-eds that had travelled all the way to Mars, but before she crossed to one of the girls, an advertisement came on for The Society for Ancient Wisdom. The girl on screen, named Annie Larris, was the very same girl that appeared in my dream! She spoke about how important understanding the past is, and requested any artefacts be left in the drop slot on 14th Avenue. The reporter then crossed to Melissa China, one of the girls that had made the journey to Mars. Melissa spoke about dreams in which her and her friend had been given instructions on how to turn their van into a spaceship, which they then flew to Mars to await further instructions.

I wouldn't mind depositing my artifact in her drop slot! (sorry)

The TV soon went into a constant loop, but only after the reporter described the bizarre situation where the Earth’s inhabitants were getting more stupid. The cause of the epidemic appears to be a 60-cycle hum that’s coming through every telephone line on the planet. So things were really moving very quickly in Zak McKracken. I was yet to thoroughly explore the second room of my own house, and the plot was well on the way to being set up and I had no less than seven items in my inventory. I already had stacks of questions, but the only way I was going to get answers was to continue my exploration. The lounge room was connected to the kitchen, so I left the TV behind and went to see what was waiting for me there.

The only strange thing about that is that you actually did it!

The first thing I noticed in the kitchen was the butter knife hanging on the wall. I added it to my inventory, and then checked out the fridge, where I found an egg. In the cupboard beneath the sink I discovered a yellow crayon and also found I could interact with the pipe there. When I tried to open it, the game told me that I would need some tools for that. There was a button just above the sink that appeared to turn on some sort of processor, but the only thing I had in my possession that I was able to process was Sushi the fish, and that just seemed a bit...well...wrong. I restored and hoped the sink’s use would become obvious later. I didn’t appear to be able to use the stove at all, so I picked up the key hanging next to the door and left the house.

A bachelor with a tidy kitchen. Not likely!

Standing on the street, I decided to see if there was anything in my mailbox. It was locked, so I successfully used the key I’d collected inside to open it. There appeared to be no mail, so all that was left to do was to decide whether to go left or right. I chose Zak’s right, which was my left, and quickly found myself standing in front of a bakery. The door wouldn’t open, so I tried ringing the bell. An aggressive baker came to the window and told me they were closed and out of fresh bread, before disappearing back inside. I noticed that he left the window open, but I didn’t seem to be able to do anything, so I moved on. I wasn’t able to go any further in that direction, so I turned around and went the other.

Did I mention that I'm French, so cliche demands that I be rude and aggressive

On the other side of Zak’s house I found a shop called TPC. The telephone as part of the T suggested this was the telephone company, and given the aliens were using a humming signal through the phone lines to make people stupider, I imagined this place might play a significant role in the game. I entered, and found an odd looking guy behind a counter wearing a cowboy hat. The sign on the counter said “Please pay bills here”, which reminded me that I actually had a bill in my possession that needed paying. I gave it to the representative, who asked me for a cashcard, which I gave him, and payment was made. I had no idea how much cash I actually had on my card, but assumed the game wouldn’t let me pay for the bill if I needed that money elsewhere.

I hate telecommunications companies in real life, so hopefully I get to destroy one in this game

I couldn’t really do anything else, apart from collecting an application from the boxes to the left of the counter. I read the application to find it was for The King Fan Club. I wondered whether that was the same King that the aliens mentioned in the cut-scene, and skimmed through my inventory to see if I had anything to fill it in with. The crayon seemed the most likely choice, so I used it on the application and was told it was now filled in and pre-paid. I remembered the mailbox outside my house, took a mental note to put the application into it next time I went back there, before stepping outside to continue the exploration of my surroundings.

Would you trust this face?

Just to the right of the telephone company I found a bus. Hmmmm...I had a ticket to Seattle, but I didn’t feel ready to leave San Francisco yet (I didn’t actually know where I was before I saw the Golden Gate Bridge behind the bus). I was actually happy when I tried to open the bus door and was told the driver was asleep. Maybe the game wouldn’t let me go anywhere until I’d done everything I needed to? I didn’t yet have any idea whether Zak McKracken would even allow me to reach a dead end, but the fish shredding incident had suggested I probably shouldn’t trust the creators too quickly, even if they did belong to LucasArts.

I thought that was a dummy until I realised it was the driver sleeping with his head down

Walking along the path behind the bus took me to another set of shops, with the first one having a sign saying Lou’s Loans in the window. I went inside to find a wide range of unrelated items on shelves, with what I assumed was Lou behind the counter. I now had a Buy verb in the menu in place of Pick Up, so I set about seeing which objects I could buy. I wasn’t able to select all of the items, so I figured if I could, I should. I bought every single thing in the shop that I could select, and found myself with a guitar, some nose glasses, a hat, a tool kit, a golf club and a wet suit! I was already feeling a bit daunted by the amount of items in my inventory, but now I had no less than seventeen things to go through when trying to solve puzzles.

Nose glasses seem to be a common theme in this game

I was already a little bit concerned about the money I’d paid to the phone company, but now I really wanted to find out just how much money I could put on my cashcard. Surely I didn’t have infinite funds at my disposal! I thought I would try reading the card, just in case the amount on it was somehow visible. It was (which seems hugely dangerous), and despite having bought just about everything in Lou’s shop, I still had $10690 to spend. Happy days! There was something else of note in Lou’s Loans though, which was a large sign saying PLAY LOTTO! I bought a lotto ticket for $10, and was then asked to enter a four digit number. I hadn’t noticed anything in the game that might hint as to what the winning numbers might be, so I guessed 5280, and then left the store.

Zak McKracken returns the favour after Maniac Mansion had a poster in the games room

The next door up the street had a sign on it reading “Society for Ancient Wisdom. Deposit artefacts in slot.” This was the door slot Annie Larris, the girl from my dream, was talking about on TV! I looked through my inventory, but couldn’t find anything in there that might be of value to someone looking for ancient artefacts. I thought I would just try putting some things in there, hoping that the game would reject them. I guess I wanted to see whether I could answer my question about whether or not I was likely to run into dead ends while playing Zak McKracken. I was not able to put the ticket, Sushi, wet suit, cashcard, toolkit, golf club, guitar or lotto ticket into the slot, but I was able to put the kazoo, wallpaper, remote control, knife, crayon, egg, key, application, nose glasses and hat in there. Were those items now gone for good? Obviously I restored so I didn’t have to find out, but my assumed trust in the game was decreasing.

That should read "Deposit very small artiacts in slot."

The last location to visit in San Francisco was Bob E. Pinz’s Hair Salon. The salon had a sign saying “closed permanently”, but the oversized bobby pin hanging outside caught my attention. When I tried to pick it up, I was informed that it was connected with wires. I realised I hadn’t yet opened the tool kit I purchased at Lou’s, so I went about doing that. Inside was a monkey wrench, some duct tape, some rope, and some wire cutters. I used the wire cutters to detach the bobby pin, and somehow added it to my ever-increasing collection of random objects. From what I’d gathered, I’d visited all possible locations in my hometown and picked up everything I could find. It was time to have a think about how some of this stuff might be useful.

I paid a lot for this smile you know!

I think that might be a good place to stop for this post. I’ve progressed a fair bit further than this, and had some success applying some of the items, but this post has gone well over the two thousand word mark already (which is usually my limit and probably yours too). The initial parts of the game have required quite a bit of description, as there’s a lot happening, with numerous items spread around and heaps of things I could try. It took me just under one hour to get through all of the above, which should give you some indication as to how packed the game is so far with stuff to do. I should have enough time tomorrow to play more and perhaps post too.

Session Time: 1 hours 00 minutes

Total Time: 1 hours 00 minutes

Note Regarding Spoilers and Companion Assist Points: I've recently written a set of rules regarding spoilers and companion assist points. Please read it here before making any comments that could be considered a spoiler in any way. The short of it is that no points will be given for hints or spoilers given in advance of me requiring one. Please...try not to spoil any part of the game for me...unless I really obviously need the help...or I specifically request assistance. In this instance, I've not made any requests for assistance. Thanks!