Dragonsphere – Space Oddity

Written by Vetinari

First thing as I leave the Hightower mountains, I decide to travel to Slathan ni Pathan to get my shifter ring back. It's not such a good idea, because the two imbeciles who guard the access to the swampland have decided that since the new developments any shifter is fair play to be run through with their halberds.

Callahach's finest.

I try everything, telling them that I am a shifter that just wants to go home, that I am NOT a shifter, that I don't know anything at all, this exchange always ends with me getting shish-kebabbed by these two dumbasses.

Alone in the Dark 2 - Pirate Shenanigans

Written by Andy Panthro

Grace is of an age where the basement is too spooky.

I will fully admit to looking up the first of the steps I needed to take in this section. I had arrived back in the kitchen of the mansion as Grace, and all I had found was a key on the floor. If I tried to leave this room to get to the main door (or the stairs up or down) a pirate would come and catch me.

I tried ringing the bell again, assuming the key might be for something back at the ship, but you get a message saying you’re not done here. Good that it’s not letting me leave without getting whatever items I might require at least! A quick check of a hint and it turns out the key is for a cabinet in the kitchen. The trouble with this cabinet was, I had completely assumed it wasn’t able to be opened, because there was never a message when I tried to interact with it. Often a locked door or cabinet in this game will give you a message if you try and interact with it.

Anyway, the kitchen cabinet contains two items, an ice box and molasses. I tried using both, and grace dumps them out on the floor. I immediately assume I’m supposed to use these as traps, so I reload, and then pour the ice out on the floor. Next, I get the attention of the pirate and make him follow me into the kitchen, where he slips on the ice and dies! Score another one for Grace.

Donkey Island - Final Rating

Written by Michael

I sometimes get excited over the littlest things.

After Alex's post last week, anything I write this time is going to be a massive let-down.  I apologize in advance.  I'll try to do my best in his shadow.  

But after his slightly disappointing game, I have a dilemma.  Which is harder, rating a game like my last one, and worrying about how people will feel I was too generous, or a game like this one, and worry about being too harsh?

This game has a lot of charm and character to it.  For something that was intended mostly as a demonstration of concept, a test of a homemade game engine, you can tell that the authors enjoyed the source material.  Then again, who DOESN’T enjoy the Monkey Island games?  (Well, I’m sure there’s ONE person reading this blog right now that’s calling them overrated, but remember, we ARE an inclusive blog, tolerant of all opinions, even the wrong ones.)

Shall we begin?

Police Quest: Open Season - Final Rating

 by Alex

Is this really “THE MOST INTENSE MULTIMEDIA CD EVER!”? Remember when “multimedia” was an adjective that seemingly everything had slapped onto it? My friend Merriam-Webster.com (NO AI FOR ME!) defines “multimedia” as “using, involving, or encompassing several media” in its adjectival form. As a noun, M-W states that “multimedia” is “a technique (such as the combining of sound, video, and text) for expressing ideas (as in communication, entertainment, or art) in which several media are employed,” and also “something (such as software) using or facilitating such a technique.”

So, by this definition, isn’t a movie multimedia? Isn’t a Broadway musical? Weren’t radio plays? Weren’t plays by Euripides and Aristophanes? You’re telling me Oedipus Rex wasn’t a more INTENSE MULTIMEDIA experience than Police Quest: Open Season?

Ah, but by the box’s own definition, I am comparing apples to oranges, or what Aristotle might call in Posterior Analytics (which is NOT the analysis of the human butt; get your minds out of the gutter) a false syllogism. If all A is C, and there is no B in A, and we suppose that A is “a Greek tragedy” and C is “an intense multimedia experience” while B is “a compact disc,” we can see that calling, I don’t know, Lysistrata or The Frogs a more intense multimedia experience than Police Quest: Open Season is logically unsound. But the real Greek tragedy is me, a Greek, bastardizing the great Philosopher’s Posterior Analytics to make a butt joke about a thirty-year-old adventure game.

«Ντρέπομαι που είμαι πρόγονός σου, βρε μαλάκα.»

I mean, there are better ways to make butt jokes about or in adventure games:

So if the horse fart is A, the horse’s ass is C, I guess the bag is B, so we can say “All A is C . . .” Talk about Posterior ANALytics . . .

The amount of mileage I’ve gotten out of that screenshot is truly stunning.

Dragonsphere – Changes

Written by Vetinari

Welcome back to Dragonsphere! After a plot twist that my teenage self would have absolutely adored (and one year before The Usual Suspects as well), the game let us take back control of our now-unnamed protagonist in Sanwe's empty study, after the explosive defeat of the sorcerer.

He was more of a technomancer, anyway.

I scavenge among the debris and find many useful things inside Sanwe's former inner sanctum. I get a large black sphere from the ground, the only remains of the powerful circle of spheres which powered the sorcerer's magical abilities.