Game 19: Leisure Suit Larry 2 - Final Rating

Alright, I'm back on the ground in Australia, had a couple of days to get over my jetlag, and am raring to get back into playing and blogging. It's actually been quite a while since I finished Larry 2, but looking over the near 200 screenshots I took reminded me of all the highlights and frustrations. My gut feeling says that while the game overall was entertaining, and at times hilarious, it's unlikely to do very well on the PISSED scale. There were some significant issues with the story and the technology that will undoubtedly make it fall short of the first game's 57.

Puzzles and Solvability
It’s difficult to talk about the puzzles and solvability of Larry 2 without discussing the very serious parser issues that pop up throughout the game. However, since that’s really a problem with the interface, I’ll try to ignore those for this category. Even if I ignore the difficulty the parser creates, there were plenty of other things that made the game rather challenging, not least of all a large amount of possible dead ends. Out of every game I’ve played so far, Larry 2 must surely have the most dead ends, with all of them being caused by not discovering some well hidden item much earlier on. I got caught out by this a few times, including arriving at the island without the bikini top, but I can see potential for many, many more. In fact, most of your time is spent collecting random items and then applying them to puzzles you come across later on, rather than finding an item and then applying it to a previously discovered challenge. If you don’t have an item to solve something, chances are it’s too late to get it! It doesn’t feel very satisfying.
Rating: 4

Just about every puzzle in Larry 2 is solved by dying first, then trying to avoid it later.

Interface and Inventory
Blah blah interface blah blah. If you’ve been reading this blog for a while, you’ll already know the general story when it comes to the Sierra interface. That being said, the two main topics of conversation when discussing either the AGI or the SCI engines are movement and the parser. Movement is handled well in Larry 2, with very few occasions where you’re forced to negotiate ridiculous mazes or stairways. The cliff-side walkway is an exception of course, but this is clearly a piss-take of previous Sierra games and a funny one at that. The parser though has inexcusable problems that simply must be punished. There were three cases in the game where I knew exactly what it was I needed to do, but simply couldn’t find the correct commands. When my first attempts failed, I then went on lengthy wild goose chases trying to find something else to do when in fact, I was right in the first place. Filling the bikini top with money, purchasing the snack at the airport, and putting together the Molotov at the top of the volcano are all potentially insanely frustrating due only to the extremely specific commands the game accepts to make them happen. Inventory is the same as King’s Quest IV, which means you can see each item but have no ability to seek further description of them.
Rating: 4

After typing "put soap in bikini", I received "It's not yours to drop" in response. There are lots of these anomalies, which are made worse by the fact that what I was trying to do was right!

Story and Setting
In hindsight Larry 2 is a very strange game. It begins with an intro that shows Dr. Nonookee on his island, surrounded by women in his underground lair, and ends with Larry entering the lair and defeating Nonookee with no interaction from the player whatsoever. Nonookee plays no role at all between these two scenes! If this wasn’t strange enough, Larry has no awareness of Nonookee at all until he very randomly arrives at his island after inexplicably jumping out of an aeroplane, despite the fact KGB agents and Nonookee’s henchman are chasing him because he has an onklunk in his possession that he was given after accidentally saying a secret password at the right place. It may very well be that Al Lowe was attempting to mess with standard story conventions, but the contrived nature of the plot, and the fact Larry (and therefore the player) has absolutely no motives to do pretty much anything he does, just comes across as lazy. If you don’t do the right things at the right times, you die. But there’s no way you could possibly know what the right things to do are, unless you die. Once again, it’s pretty unsatisfying stuff!
Rating: 4

Oh look...a lifeboat! Well I better get in it and leave this cruiser behind. Sounds like a plan!

Sound and Graphics
Being the second game to use the SCI engine, there’s no doubt Larry 2 is a big step up from Larry I when it comes to sound and graphics, yet somehow it doesn’t feel quite as impressive as King’s Quest IV. The resolution may be higher, but the actual illustrations and animations are not on par with the aforementioned game, nor is the quality of the sound. There’s still a significant lack of sound in the game and while King’s Quest IV had stacks of unique and lush sounding pieces of music popping up regularly, Larry 2 doesn’t have quite the same impact. This is probably all due to the fact Al Lowe pretty much single-handedly created the game, which is no mean feat, particularly given the length of it. If there is a positive, it’s that the music is slightly more memorable, even if the quality of the production isn’t quite what it could be. Obviously I can’t keep increasing my scores for this category as technology improves over time, as there’re only a maximum of ten points on offer, but it wouldn’t seem right to give Larry 2 the same score as the first game. I’m going to give it a generous 6, but only because it was released very close to the time of King’s Quest IV. Future games are going to have to offer more.
Rating: 6

Graphically and audibly, Larry 2 sits somewhere between Larry 1 and King's Quest IV.

Environment and Atmosphere
Larry 2 covers numerous varied environments ranging from Los Angeles, a cruise ship, an island resort, an aeroplane, and then finally the island where Dr. Nonookee resides. It’s all produced well enough, with lots of life and colour. It’s fairly noticeable that several locations serve very little purpose to solving any puzzles or even furthering the plot, and instead merely act as humorous devices. The restaurant on the island resort is a case in point, where the player watches a joke unfold for in advance of five minutes, before finally being free to pick up a knife and leave, unable to return. The atmosphere is one of sheer lunacy, with the unexpected occurring with regularity and most conversations spiralling into hilarious madness at a rapid pace. I love the fact that there are identical barber shops in every location, which is a good example of the way Al Lowe uses circular humour without it ever getting stale.
Rating: 6

Who would have thought adventure gaming was a spectator sport!

Dialogue and Acting
This is undoubtedly where Larry 2 shines. It’s by far the funniest game I’ve played so far and often the player interaction takes a backseat to the comedy. Drawn out “cut scenes” such as the matchmaking TV show and the pre-marriage manhood test are testament to the creator’s brilliant sense of comedy. Other highlights are the dream sequence in the barber shop and the inappropriate comments of the flight attendant, but I’m not even scratching the surface of the game’s delightful dialogue. Unfortunately, the player doesn’t really have much to do with any of this, and there are still no signs of real verbal interaction with characters. I thought for a moment this barrier was about to be broken during the game show when I was required to answer contestant questions, but it turned out that it didn’t make any difference what I answered. This is as close to a 7 as I’ve got so far, but Larry 2 didn’t take any evolutionary steps, so I have to stick to a 6.
Rating: 6

One thing's for sure. Al Lowe had a lot of fun writing this game!

So that's 50 for the Leisure Suit Larry sequel, which is a bit disappointing considering the high hopes I had for it going in. While it perhaps feels a little harsh given how much I enjoyed it, I simply couldn't ignore the game's flaws when handing out the points. Speaking of points...

Companion Assist Points for Larry 2

It’s time to dish out (and perhaps deduct) some points for those that predicted things and assisted me along the way.

Alfred placed a bet: “I bet you ten points you will get killed repeatedly by the mama in your cabin at the beginning of the ship section and will need assistance to get past her.” I actually didn’t have any trouble with the mama at all. I intentionally let myself be killed by her once and then figured out that I needed to get off the boat quickly before she killed me again, but since I needed no assistance, this prediction was incorrect. Deducting 10 points from Alfred!

10 points to Chumazik and Ilmari for letting me know about Trite Phrase and Filth Level options.

16k placed a bet: “I bet you 10 points that you will be stuck when trying to put the bag in the bottle at the volcano and lighting the bag. My friend and I were stuck on this for over a week. It's a parser problem you need to use 'the' before bag and bottle.” I did indeed get stuck here and needed assistance, so that’s 10 points to 16k! I know you didn’t actually have any points to bet 16k, but I’ve decided to be lenient in this instance as it was our first attempt at the betting.

5 points to Bleaghhh for commenting about the indie adventure pack at Bundle in a Box.

Ilmari placed a bet: “I predict that you will not get past the KGB agents at the beach without assistance (the puzzle where you need cross-dressing).” This was a very good prediction as I did indeed get very stuck here. But…since I made it through without assistance, I have to deduct 10 points from Ilmari for an incorrect prediction. Fenrus made a counter prediction, but wasn’t willing to put any points up. I might have paid it out if he had. Will have to think about that for future.

Nikolaj was once again the reader to correctly predict my score! I’ve decided to give him 20 points for getting it right twice in a row and will increase the score by 10 each time if he can keep the roll going!

Eugene responded to a Request For Assistance. He gave me a hint, but it wasn’t in the ideal format, so I’m going to give him 5 points for it.

Lars-Erik responded to a Request For Assistance. His was in the ideal format, so it’s 10 points!

Lars-Erik answered my question regarding how to ideally get the passport. 5 points!

Lars-Erik gets another 10 points for suggesting The Porterhouse Pub and Waxy O’Connors in London. Both were excellent, particularly Waxy which was totally brilliant!

rmdesign gets 5 points for explaining how to “have your way” with the maid on the resort.

Lars-Erik gets yet another 5 points for letting me know the correct command to “stuff the bikini with soap”

butsuri gets 5 points for explaining who the “natives” were at the airport

The Mad Gamer, Chumazik and Canageek responded to a Request for Assistance, but since they weren’t in the ideal format, I’m giving them 5 points each.

Ilmari gave an awesome explanation as to why the parser was so bad for some puzzles in the game, so he gets 5 points for that too.

10 points to Canageek for announcing the latest GOG sales…twice.

So, unless I’m mistaken, the following points will now be handed out:

30 Points – Lars-Erik
20 Points – Nikolaj
15 Points – Canageek and Chumazik
10 Points – 16k
5 Points – Bleaghhh, butsuri, Eugene, Ilmari, rmdesign and The Mad Gamer
-10 Points – Alfred n the Fettuc

Game 19: Leisure Suit Larry 2 - Won!

Larry Laffer Journal Entry 5: "Finally I've found the woman of my dreams...again! I could never have imagined that my harrowing flight from KGB agents would end with me trying to save an island of natives from an evil villain named Dr. Nonookee. The guy had been capturing and hypnotising native women and had built his lair right on the native's ancestral burial grounds atop a volcano. After meeting Kalalau at the beach, we immediately fell deeply in love and decided to get married. Unfortunately, I had to remove Nonookee from the island before any marriage could go ahead, but before I could even attempt that I needed to pass Kalalau's father's manhood test. I don't really know how I did it, but I've managed to succeed on all counts, and have just spent the night making love to my beautiful new wife. Even the news that the company that owes me a million dollars a year has gone bankrupt can't dampen the feelings of happiness I have right now. Let's hope this lasts more than a few days!"

At the end of my last gameplay post, I'd just jumped out of an aeroplane...

Wow! I had no idea when I started Larry 2 that it was going to take me a total of 13 hours to complete it! That’s an hour and a half longer than the very challenging Mortville Manor and two and half hours longer than King’s Quest IV, the previous longest Sierra game. I don’t think it’s all that surprising that the games on the list are taking more time to complete as I go along, but I didn’t really expect it to occur so exponentially. It's also worth noting that I needed assistance from the readers twice when playing Larry 2, so the true total time that it might have taken me to complete the game will have to remain an unknown. I’ll save any further comments about the game's overall attributes to the Final Rating post, which unfortunately will have to wait until my return from France.

...and landed in a tree where I remained for a day or two.

Right, so at the end of my last gameplay post, I was hanging from a tree branch after jumping out of an aeroplane for very dubious reasons (i.e. none whatsoever). Getting out of the tree was easy enough, as I had a knife that I cut the parachute cords with. Unfortunately, the distance between the tree branch and the ground was rather large. My immediate thought was that I was going to have to restore and try to find a way to fall lightly, but surprisingly I didn’t die. However, the onklunk which I’d been carrying, and which had to this point been the sole reason for everyone chasing me, broke on impact with the ground. I have to say this confused me quite a bit! Surely the onklunk played a role in the game’s climax! If it’s only reason to exist was to inadvertently (and by complete and utter chance) lead me to the island of Dr. Nonookee, that’s a pretty awful plot device!

So why didn't I just break it days ago!?

I spent a while trying to think of any way that I might have avoided breaking the onklunk, but in the end I decided that if it had any purpose later on, the game would have informed me that I was screwed when I broke it. At least, that’s what I hoped! It was time to see what was on the island I’d seen in the introduction to the game. The game made a point of describing the ground’s texture, so I thought it might be worth looking at in more detail. I’m glad I did because I found a stick that I was able to pick up. That was all I was able to do mind you before I bumped a branch holding a beehive, causing the bees to swarm me and kill me. I avoided the branch the second time around by taking a very specific path, and was able to move to the next screen. As it turned out, I was merely walking into another obstacle.

Death by Anaconda: This island has more dangerous animals than Australia!

The next screen has a snake in a tree that I was going to have to avoid. I died quite a few times trying to find a path that wouldn’t result in it eating me, but eventually I tried using the stick I’d found on the previous screen, just as it was about to attack. It worked, and I jammed the stick into its mouth, causing it to scurry off into the jungle. I couldn’t find anything to pick up on the screen, so I moved onto the next one. What do you know?! Another obstacle! This time it was quicksand that I had to avoid, which I found out about fairly rapidly after sinking to my death after just a couple of steps. Fortunately the path through the deadly sand was pretty obvious, as it had a different colour to the rest. I still died once trying to cross it successfully, but it didn’t offer a lot of challenge.

Death by Quicksand: At least I sank quickly.

So that’s three screens down on the island and all three contained nasty obstacles that required a little bit of thought to get past. I entered the fourth screen fully prepared for another death dealing complication. I wasn’t disappointed! I found myself confronted by water, with numerous vines hanging above it. It was already clear that I was going to have to swing across the vines to avoid falling in the water, but my curiosity led me to walk straight in to see what would happen. Surprisingly I was able to walk through the water unopposed, although I was informed of a soft tickling feeling in my legs. It was only when I walked out the other side that the reality set in. The lower part of my body had no flesh left on it, eaten away by piranhas. I had to laugh at my misfortune and restored back to the other side. This time I swung across the vines by typing “use vine” three or four times in a row (thank heavens for the F3 function) to safely reach the shore without injury.

Death by Piranhas: One of the funnier death scenes so far, not to mention post death mocking.

So far, so good, and things were about to get much better for our underdog Larry. The next screen was a beach, and coming out of the water was a “beautiful native girl” waving at me. Not only did she seem eager to converse with me, she was also TOPLESS!!!!! I have very mixed feelings about what occurs after meeting Kalalau. On the one hand, control is taken away from the player for close to ten minutes! On the other hand, the whole scene is hilariously written, and showcases Al Lowe’s real talent for comedy. I’ll give you a quick rundown of what occurs, but what it’s all really about is giving Larry a reason to try to defeat Dr. Nonookee, because let’s face it, there have been little to no motives to anything he’s done to this point.

NO SHIT!!

In a nutshell, Kalalau and Larry immediately fall in love and pash for a while, but are unable to have sex due to a strict native law that demands a couple be married before doing the horizontal dance. They decide to get married, but marriage has been forbidden until someone removes Dr. Nonookee from the ancestral burial grounds atop the volcano. They then go off to meet Kalalau’s father, hoping to convince him that Larry is worthy of her hand in marriage. The father, named Kenawauwau, demands that Larry prove his manhood by passing an initiation involving something called the Sacred Peesea. The Peesea turns out to be a PC, which Larry has to write a program on to prove his worth. He does so, creating a program called Eunochs (get it?) in the process, all while a native peddles on a bike connected to a battery to give the PC power. Talk about writing what you know! Al Lowe injected so much of his personality and interests into this game that it’s difficult to distinguish between the character and the creator at times.

Wow...that really is true love!

After all of the above is over, I found myself left standing on a ledge with one purpose. To find Dr. Nonookee and to remove him from the island somehow! I immediately had a problem to resolve however, which was to get over the rather large crevice in front of me. I only had matches, the airsick bag and the rejuvenator bottle in my possession, and I was unable to find any way to get across. I did have a fairly obvious “eureka” moment however, when I was reminded of all the vines I used to get over the water a few screens back. On restoring to that screen, I was indeed able to get one of the vines, and after quickly rushing through all the plot development that I described above, I used that vine to swing across the crevice to the other side. There would be no turning back from here, as the branch I tied to the vine broke off and fell into the crevice, stranding me on that side. I hoped I had everything I needed. I didn’t!

A little bit of motivation goes a long way!

I found myself confronted by a glacier, with some very slippery steps leading up the mountain. I tried climbing them to no avail, as I kept sliding back down. At first I figured this was going to be another maze puzzle like the tongue in the whale in King’s Quest IV, but it soon became apparent that I was not going to be climbing up unassisted. I tried melting the ice with the matches and the inflammable rejuvenator, but had no success. I was stuck, and started wracking my brain back to previous screens, hoping to remember something that might help me. I restored all the way back to the beginning of the island, and took extra time looking for something I could tie to my feet, or something textured I could throw on the ice. I also figured I might be able to type something while control was taken away from me when meeting Kalalau, but that also turned out to be a false hope. I soon found myself standing on the ledge again ready to throw the vine, with nothing extra in my inventory. It’s only then that I had a thought!

That's about as high as I could get before sliding back down.

It hadn’t occurred to me before, but I suddenly wondered whether I could walk back into the village the same way Kenawauwau had led me out of it. I’d had no control of Larry through that whole section, but now I’d regained control, I could do a bit of exploring. All the natives had gone inside, and it didn’t take me long to find what I needed. In fact, I found two possible “items” that I might be able to use on the ice. The ashes from a burnt out fire and some sand from the beach where I met Kalalau! With these in my inventory, I swung across the crevice and made my way back to the icy steps. I tried using both the sand and the ashes and it seems either would have been enough to make the steps climbable (a hardly impressive case of multiple solutions). I made my way upwards, realising the end up the game was approaching. It wouldn’t be long now...or so I thought!

There's not really any doubt is there?! Of course I have magical powers!

At the top of the volcano were an elevator with a door that wouldn’t open and a crevice with steam coming out of it. I could see no way to do anything with the elevator, so I focussed my attention on the crevice. When I tried to “use rejuvenator” near the crevice, the game told me that “this area is not conducive to bombing. Try again somewhere else.” I couldn’t really go very far on the screen due to some rocks blocking the way, but I couldn’t find anywhere else that was “conducive to bombing”. I tried using the matches, which resulted in me dropping one in the rejuvenator and blowing myself to pieces. This turned out to be useful however, as the game told me that “next time you make a Molotov cocktail, why not try using a wick?!” OK, so I needed to make a Molotov out of the rejuvenator and the sick bag, and then light it with the matches. Easy right!?

Larry called upon his newly gained magical powers, trying to open the door with his mind.

“Use bag on bottle” resulted in the same “not conducive for bombing” message. So did “put bag in bottle” and every other combination I could think of. I was going to need to find the right place to make the bomb before I could even attempt to make it, which is stupid. Eventually I found the exact spot (and I mean exact) right next to the crevice that was apparently “conducive to bombing”. I typed “put bag in bottle” and the game responded with OK. Hooray I thought! I’m getting somewhere! Yet...instead of making a wick, Larry threw the rejuvenator into the crevice, subsequently ending any chance I had of finishing the game. I tried a few other different ways of saying it, only for the exact same thing to happen. I was starting to get pretty frustrated by this point, and was also starting to doubt my whole approach to the puzzle. Was I missing something? I decided to put in a Request for Assistance.

A few seconds of exaltation...followed by disbelief and frustration.

A few minutes later, The Mad Gamer came to my rescue, by telling me I had to type “put the bag in the bottle”. This informed me of two things. Firstly, it absolutely rocks having you guys to help me through these tricky situations and I’m thrilled with the amount of time you’re all putting into this little community. Secondly, it confirmed to me that Leisure Suit Larry 2 has some very serious parser issues. As if my troubles filling my bikini earlier in the game hadn’t been bad enough, the game’s last puzzle is shocking. “Put bag in bottle” doesn’t work, but “put the bag in the bottle” does!? I don’t think I’ve ever typed “the” while playing a Sierra game. It’s always “look at house” or “get vine” or something like that. Anyway, it turns out you can say “put airsick bag in bottle” too, but I’d been calling the bag a bag all the way through the game to this point with success.

Well that was easy!

Anyway, while it might seem unfathomable, given that Larry’s task is to remove Dr. Nonookee from the island, the game pretty much wraps up with no further interaction after dropping the lit Molotov into the crevice. The explosion causes the elevator door to open, which Larry then walks into and falls down to where Dr. Nonookee is watching a bunch of women perform. Larry stumbles into the room and in a ridiculous string of good fortune, accidentally high fives a statue, causing it to activate the fortress Peacemaker Self-Defense Control Panel, which he then accidentally falls on, pressing the Auto Fire button, which causes a laser beam to fire and hit a piano, which just so happens to flip up and land on Dr. Nonookee. Job done!

I was just a spectator by this stage.

What a massive anticlimax, particularly after Nonookee was introduced and given some form of personality in the game’s introduction. I’m sure it’s Al Lowe taking the piss out of basic storytelling conventions, or perhaps he couldn’t see any way for the game to play out using the SCI engine and decided to simply end it. Either way, the women take their clothes off (of course), reverting back to their native ways, and carry Larry off to a helicopter, which flies him back to Kalalau, whom he marries in one the most bizarre, and admittedly very funny, wedding sequences ever. The native tradition includes spinning around until you throw up, rubbing pies in each other’s faces and then doing the moonwalk.

No wedding is complete without a bit of moonwalking

After the ceremony is over, the father takes Larry to his tent to give him a wedding present...a full head of hair! In yet another hysterical twist, the father is yet another barber, in a barber shop that looks just like all the others. As I watched the closing scene, which involves Larry and Kalalau running naked along the beach before having sex partially hidden by a plant on the beach, I feel a mix of anticlimactic disappointment and total entertainment satisfaction, not to mention the remnants of comedic glow and buggy programming induced frustration. Who knows what the PISSED Rating system is going to do to this game! I'm afraid you'll have to wait until next week...

At the least there was some sort of climax in the end.

Session Time: 2 hours 30 minutes

Total Time: 13 hours 00 minutes

Game 19: Leisure Suit Larry 2 - Request for Assistance

Ok, so I'm right at the end of the game, but I'm frustratingly stuck. I'm standing at the top of the volcano near the elevator. I have the bottle of rejuvenator, the matches, and the airsick bag. I'm certain I have to make a bomb out of the items, but no matter what I try, I can't get it to work.

I've now found the one spot right next to the crevice where I'm able to drop the rejuvenator into the hole, but it doesn't do anything. The obvious thing to do would be to use the bag as a wick and then light it with the matches, but I can't make it happen. The game even told me after I blew myself up that I should have used a wick. "Put bag in bottle" didn't work. "Use bag with bottle" didn't work either. I've tried about fifty different ways of saying it, but no luck. I have a feeling this is another parser issue and that I probably have everything I need. Help!

Please remember to put any hints or spoilers in ROT13. Thanks!

Nothing is exactly what I've accomplished for the last forty minutes. Am I missing something?

Game 19: Leisure Suit Larry 2 - Blue Stained Clues

Larry Laffer Journal Entry 4: “While hanging from a tree branch after diving out of a plane might not seem like a great form of relaxation, I’ve decided to take the opportunity to rest my nerves and write this journal entry before some KGB agent chases after me once again. While I thought I’d reached the end of my ordeal when I finally reached the airport by disguising myself as a woman, the flight and airport itself turned out to be just as stressful. The queues were enough to drive me insane, and I was forced to take drastic action (i.e. a bomb threat) to be able to get my ticket on time. I also nearly died when the food I purchased at a snack bar contained a bobby pin in it, but I was sure glad it did once I was on the plane. That bobby pin turned out to be exactly what I needed to prematurely exit the plane, and with the parachute I received as travel insurance on, I jumped to freedom! I have no idea where I am right now, nor do I know if I’m going to be able to get out of this tree, but I might just stay here a little bit longer...”

My last session ended with me finally getting past the agents, disguised as a woman!

At the end of my last post, I’d just managed to get past the KGB agents on the beach by using my powers of disguise to appear as a bikini clad woman. It had been a real challenge to get to that point, mostly due to some parser issues that had made increasing my bust more challenging than it really is in modern times. I was pretty happy to be able to move on from this section of the game, and figured the next screen would be the airport that the game kept hinting should be my next destination. As it turned out, I wasn’t quite out of the woods yet (so to speak), and found myself confronted by what can only be described as an Al Lowe produced intentional Sierra nightmare. A lengthy cliff face that required maneuvering Larry around a tight and at times unseen path!

Aaahhhhh...it's a Sierra engine nightmare!

Yet just as I was making a mental note to punish Larry 2 for making things unnecessarily challenging for the player, it became apparent that this section was not what it initially appeared to be. Of course getting around the path without falling off is next to impossible with Sierra’s inadequate depth perspective, even with the new shiny SCI engine, but when I fell off, I didn’t have to restore. Larry hung on to the edge and pulled himself back up. Not only that, I noticed after a couple of near death experiences that I was actually gaining points each time I fell!  That seemed pretty strange to me, as I couldn’t understand why the game would reward the player for what is really a failed attempt to surpass an obstacle. Me being me, I decided to find out how many times I could fall off the path, and therefore how many points I could get, before I finally plummeted to my death.

400 points! Surely I've found the biggest game bug in history! My readers will bow down to my awesomeness! Mwahahaha.....

I’d entered that screen with 240 points. I watched that total go up to 250 and then 260 and then 270 and then...well, what exactly was going here?! Hmmmm...had I stumbled upon (excuse the pun) a bug in the game that allowed me to gain an infinite amount of points? Or was I merely being toyed with and about to become the butt of an Al Lowe joke. I figured the latter was more likely, but I fell off that edge a total of 160 times before deciding I wasn’t willing to waste any more time. With 400 points to my name, I made my way around the path, falling a few more times accidentally, before finally leaving the screen. I had to laugh out loud when a message popped up saying “(By the way, you didn’t think you were going to keep all those free points did you?)” What this all shows is just how well Mr Lowe understood his audience. He knew I would have to see how many points I could get, despite how stupid it was for the game to hand them out for my own inadequacies. Classic moment!

Um...well...no of course not! I'm not at idiot! (ahem)

On leaving the cliff face behind, I now found myself at the airport, but as soon as I arrived there, the military captured me as they “don’t want no cross-dressers hanging around our airport!” Since I wasn’t able to change back into my suit on the cliff face, I soon figured out I had to do it during a small pause that occurs after leaving the cliff and before entering the airport screen. It might sound like a tough puzzle, but it was actually pretty obvious as there was no other solution possible. Anyway, now I was back in my suit, the military left me alone, but they weren’t the only characters on the screen I needed to avoid. After approaching the two dancing “natives” that were standing in front of the airport entrance, it was revealed they were also KGB agents, and I was once again faced with a game over screen. While it made absolutely no sense whatsoever, giving the flower I found in the jungle caused the agents to wander off, confused by the beauty of the flower due to their navel gazing, hippy tendencies. This puzzle was not difficult to solve, as I really didn’t have much in my inventory to utilise, but I imagine it would have caused a major headache if I hadn’t stumbled across the flower in the jungle on about my tenth venture through there.

Worst..KGB...agents...ever!

The airport section of the game clearly gave Al Lowe a perfect scene to use his everyday life style humour to full effect. Eager to depart the island as soon as I could, I stood in line to purchase a flight ticket. However, I soon realised that no matter which line I stood in, that would be the only one that would never get shorter. I tried pushing in and even acting like I was going to get in one line, before quickly jumping into another one. I even tried going straight to the front of the line before having everyone abuse me and telling to go to the back of the queue like everyone else! It’s one of those great Sierra moments where half of you is laughing at the genius of it while the other half is madly trying to figure out how to solve the issue. Unfortunately, I could see no way to solve it at this stage, so I decided to investigate the rest of the airport.

We all know this scenario well enough. Thankfully these days I travel business class.

The first place I found was yet another barber, once again looking identical to every other barber in the game. This time however the barber was extremely familiar, being a girl in a pink dress with blonde plats. My thoughts were confirmed when Rosella asked me whether I’d played King’s Quest IV yet, making this another example of Sierra’s clever in-game marketing ploys. I sat down to see what she was going to do with my constant hair predicament. The end result was that I now had exactly the same hair, complete with bald patch and receding hairline, which I began the game with. She did however give me a bottle of liquid I could apply to my hair every day to make it “full and rich”. She made a special note to mention that it was highly inflammatory, so I assume its use will be a fiery one rather than an aesthetic one.

It sure is nice to see a familiar face around here!

Hmmm...that sure is a strange thing for Rosella to ask. Oh well...

The next part of my airport investigation took me to the customs section, which I was able to pass by simply revealing my entire inventory. The officer did warn me about carrying a knife onto a plane, but oddly trusted me to drop it prior to boarding. The baggage screening official was asleep, so I had no problem getting through, but with no ticket I had no idea how I was going to board the plane. Past customs I came across a snack bar and a couple of vending machines. One of the vending machines appeared to be broken, but the other offered travel insurance. I put my money in the machine and in return received a parachute. Some insurance that is! It’s here that I focussed my attention on the snack bar attendant, and my troubles began.

I wouldn't dream of it! You can trust me...right?!

One of life's most interesting questions! Perhaps he's played Larry 2 before!

The attendant seemed completely uninterested in talking to me and any attempts to look at the items available failed. If I’ve learnt anything from the game so far, it’s that locations like this one are not there for no reason, so I tried really hard to figure out what its purpose was. I noticed a sign on the wall which strangely read “MENU Today only: Blue P ate Special $1.00”.  Notice the strange spelling mistake there. I figured it was supposed to say Plate rather than P ate, but couldn’t understand why. Typing “look at blue plate” or “look at blue pate” both resulted in “It doesn’t look interesting.” I thought I’d try “buy blue pate” and “buy blue plate”, but both of those resulted in “There’s nothing worth buying here.” OK, it looked to me as though this snack bar really was just a red herring this time, so I moved on.

There's no way in hell this snack bar could be there for no reason!

I made my way to the boarding gate, and was unsurprised to find that the official there wouldn’t let me board the plane because I didn’t have a ticket. I did however find a religious pamphlet on the counter which I added to my inventory. I could find nothing else to do there, so I decided to go back to the ticket desk to see if I could somehow solve the queue puzzle. On the way I noticed all the bags move along the conveyor in the baggage scanning section and thought I’d just try picking one up at random. It worked, but after Larry could find nothing interesting in the bag, he put it back. I then stood there for a while , picking up every bag as it came along until finally, I found a bomb!

A what?

That’s right, A BOMB! Instead of returning the bomb to the bag, Larry tries to get out of the airport with it and I figured I knew what its purpose was when he shouts “LOOK OUT, I’VE GOT A BOMB! Get out of here – QUICK!” in the ticket purchasing area, but the queued businessmen pay no attention whatsoever. I assumed I was looking at a restore when the bomb blew up before I could get out the door, but it turned out that was exactly what was supposed to happen. It wasn’t a bomb at all after all that. It was just a large firecracker, and the loud bang was the trigger that caused the queues to disappear. I found this all a bit contrived and unsatisfying, but was happy enough that I was now going to be able to purchase my ticket.

I'm sure there could have been less ridiculous ways to achieve this.

After purchasing the ticket (and enduring a lengthy question and answer session with the girl at the counter), I rushed to the boarding gate and hopped aboard the plane. After being shown to my seat and listening to the flight attendant’s hilariously matter of fact safety instructions, I was subjected to a flow of annoying hair advice by the passenger sitting next to me. If I tried to stand up, I was trapped by food trolleys on either side, another great example of Al Lowe’s love of real life exaggeration jokes. While I was sitting there, I found a sick bag in the seat in front of me, and picked it up. I eventually tried giving the annoying man the pamphlet I’d found at the airport in an attempt to distract him, which worked. Rather strangely, distracting the man allows you to get up without being trapped by trolleys, which is yet another case of contrived puzzle solutions.

Why aren't you laughing? Geeze...tough crowd!

Walking around the plane, it soon became obvious that my goal was to out of the plane. Just as with the cruiser and the island, Larry’s motives often don’t make any sense whatsoever, and I don’t really understand why he would even consider jumping off the plane. Points for anyone that can explain that! Anyway, it was soon evident that the door at the back of the plane was going to be my exit point, and after putting my parachute on, I attempted to open the emergency door. I couldn’t! I tried everything I could possibly think of, but I was unable to unlock the padlock on the red handle. Using the highly flammable liquid on it resulted in me blowing up the plane, and the knife that I’d smuggled onto the flight was of no use either. I looked everywhere on the plane, but came up with nothing. I started to panic!

I guess that would be where I'll be going.

It was at this stage that I remembered that damn snack bar in the airport where I hadn’t been able to do anything. I’d ignored my intuition at the swimming pool on the cruiser which resulted in me missing the bikini, so this time I decided to follow it. I was slightly worried that I might have missed some item on the island, but I figured one of you would have spoken up if that were the case. I restored to the snack bar and tried to make something of it. I must have tried about ten to twenty different commands before I finally stumbled upon “buy food”. Larry then shouted “Gimme one o’ them Blue Plate Specials!” at the woman, who responds with “That’s Blue PATE to you, baldie!” Hang on a second! I tried typing “buy blue plate” and “buy blue pate”, but I was rejected! I restored and tried every variation I could think of, just to see if I’d missed something obvious, but only “buy food” seemed to work. Anyway, she gave me a “pate” of food.

Always the charmer! How can the ladies not respond to this natural quality?

As if that whole experience wasn’t bad enough, I couldn’t pick up the food, so had no other option but to eat it. This resulted in me choking on a bobby pin that was left in the food and dying. OK, so it’s obvious that the bobby pin is what you need, but there’s absolutely no way that you can know it’s there unless you eat it, die, and then restore. I know a few of you have been discussing whether this type of puzzle is reasonable and I have to say this is the absolute worst case I’ve seen. I’m not going to be too critical of it as it was simply a case of restoring, but it does seem a bit harsh. The whole snack bar thing was very badly implemented, so I’ll have to remember that when it comes time to rate the game.

Joking about it doesn't make it any better...or does it?

As expected, having the bobby pin when trying to unlock the emergency door on the plane was exactly what I needed. I was able to unlock and open the door, and then watched as Larry was sucked out and began plummeting to the earth below. It took me a few attempts to pull the parachute string at the right time to land on the island instead of in the water, but I now find myself dangling from a tree branch on what I assume is Dr. Nonookee’s island. This seemed a good time to end my session, particularly as I’m trying to balance my time between exploring what London has to offer and keeping this blog somewhat updated. The fact that I’m still so keen to play the game is testament to its humour and sheer entertainment value, but I don’t think I’ll be able to overlook the obvious flaws in the parser technology and the contrived, forceful approach to storytelling that pushes Larry along.

I'm just gonna hang around here for a bit longer.

Session Time: 2 hours 30 minutes

Total Time: 10 hours 30 minutes

Note Regarding Spoilers and Companion Assist Points: I've recently written a set of rules regarding spoilers and companion assist points. Please read it here before making any comments that could be considered a spoiler in any way. The short of it is that no points will be given for hints or spoilers given in advance of me requiring one. Please...try not to spoil any part of the game for me...unless I really obviously need the help...or I specifically request assistance. In this instance, I've not made any requests for assistance. Thanks!

Game 19: Leisure Suit Larry 2 - Parser Disaster

Larry Laffer Journal Entry 3: “Why won’t everyone just leave me alone? After miraculously making it to dry land, after prematurely exiting the cruise ship, it soon became apparent that I still hadn’t lost those pesky KGB agents. They blocked my path to the airport, which was the only way off the island, so I needed to find an effective disguise to get past them. That turned out to be harder than I thought, as there really aren’t very many resources on the resort. When the island barber gave me long flowing blonde hair, I realised the best approach might be to look like a woman, which certainly isn’t easy for someone with such manly qualities. After putting on a bikini, it was clear that I was going to need more assistance, but getting a full body wax and stuffing my bikini top with cash should surely be enough. It's time to go try my luck. Hopefully, there's still some left over!"

My feelings of victory were about to be crushed!

You might remember how confident I was feeling at the end of my last post. I’d managed to collect everything I needed on the cruise ship to get Larry through ten harrowing days at sea to the island resort. I figured that since I’d made it that far, I must have avoided all the dreaded dead ends that can catch players out, at least to this point of the game. As good as I was feeling about things, that last post ended with me asking the readers whether or not I did indeed have everything I needed, and if not, to leave me some hints / spoilers that would assist me in getting back on track. I knew immediately that my confidence was unfounded as the comments started coming in that made it pretty clear I was screwed. Thankfully, and I do want to thank everyone for making the effort, all of those comments were in ROT13. This meant I could be certain that I’d missed something, but had a choice as to whether I would read the hints or try my hand at correcting my failure without further assistance.

That's 20 people that now know all about my failure

I’d love to say that I took the latter option and solved the puzzle of the missing item (or items for all I knew) all on my own, but considering how thoroughly I thought I’d scoured the cruiser, I decided to at least read a hint to see if it would give me an idea on where I might focus my attention. The first comment was left by Eugene, but I didn’t dare read it as there was no sign as to whether it was a spoiler or a hint. The second comment was by the ever trusty Lars-Erik, and was in a perfect format for a Request for Assistance response. His “Dead end hint” was “Yes, you are dead ended”, so at least I knew for sure that I missed something somewhere. His “Dead end hint2” was “You are missing something from the ship”, which confirmed my belief that whatever I’d missed was on the cruiser. Unfortunately, that left only a spoiler, but by this point the temptation had become too much to bare. His “Dead end spoiler” was “You are missing a bikini top.”

This is the only bikini top I could remember, and I wasn't likely to be able to get that one!

A bikini top? I was pretty sure I hadn’t seen a bikini anywhere on the cruiser, apart from on the KGB agent that made a pass at me. The most obvious place to look would be the pool, but I distinctly remembered there only being men lounging around it. With nothing else to go off, I restored to the pool to have another look. As soon as I got there, I figured the bikini top must be in the pool itself, but since I’d tried to investigate it earlier only to drown, wasn’t completely confident. I walked into the pool and watched Larry flounder around, then typed “swim”. The game responded with “you can’t swim that close to the edge”. I then positioned myself in the centre of the pool and tried again, and Larry started swimming. I can only think that the first time I tried to make Larry swim, I’d either typed the wrong command (maybe “dive”) or I’d not read the response correctly and just assumed Larry was going to drown regardless. Anyway, now I was swimming, so I typed “dive” and then swam down to the bottom of the pool to collect the bikini top that had evaded me for so long.

In hindsight, I should have realised there must have been something I needed at the pool.

Right, so now I had everything I needed and could finally check out what awaited me on the island. The first screen I came across (moving west from the starting screen) was a nudist beach, but I didn’t seem to be able to pass a line of rocks to access it. The game made a point of suggesting the woman lying on the rock might be communicating with me, but I couldn’t see anything to do, so I moved on. The second screen I accessed (moving east from the starting screen) had a couple of dodgy looking men in trench coats just standing around near some umbrellas. As soon as I approached them, the KGB agents captured me for a game over inducing interrogation. That left only one more path to follow, which was south of the starting screen.

I bet Al had always been waiting for an opportunity to have a nudist beach in one of his games.

Moving south took me to a jungle scene. Strangely, I lost control of Larry on this screen, and simply watched him wander around as if lost, humorously disappearing behind things before reappearing in the strangest of places (such as up a tree or peering through bushes). It went on for quite a while before Larry apparently found an exit to the screen. This took me to a restaurant, where a maitre d’ stood waiting at the entrance. The obvious thing to do was to ask for a table, after which I was asked to take a seat and wait. The next few minutes were taken up by the maitre d’ showing numerous obviously richer couples being shown to their tables while Larry gets angrier and angrier. Once a table was finally prepared, it was just a little foldout stuck to one side. This type of humour, where real life scenarios are exaggerated to the extreme, are common in Al Lowe’s work, and I appreciate them very much. Rather unrewardingly though, the only thing that can be achieved in the restaurant after such a big build up, is the collection of a cheese knife.

Sadly, even though I now receive a million dollars a year for the rest of my life, Bill Gates has so much more!

When exiting the restaurant, I was rather surprised to find that I had to watch Larry go through the whole “lost in the jungle” routine all over again before he finally found another exit., with this one leading to a guest room. An attractive looking native woman (well, for an EGA woman anyway) arrived to inform me that she was my “customer service representative in charge of horizontal surface consistency”, but any suggestions of having sex were sadly met with “she’s not interested in that”. Her purpose seemed to be limited to that one suggestive joke, as she left without further discussion. Searching the room revealed some soap in the bathroom and some matches on the nightstand, but once again there didn’t appear to be anything I could actually do in there.

The customer service representative in charge of horizontal surface consistency and custodial maintenance sadly disappointed.

Welcome to the blog Troy. Thanks for sending in your answers.

The next location, after watching Larry once again go through the jungle routine, was yet another barber! An ongoing joke, the barber shops all look identical, the way they apparently do in real life, and give us the chance to watch Larry continue in his failure filled quest to fix his receding hairline issue. This time around there is some form of success though, with Larry walking out with a full head of long blonde hair! What happened next came as a complete surprise! Actually, no it didn’t, I watched Larry yet again search for an exit in the jungle before reappearing back on the beach where we started. So I gained a knife, some soap, some matches, and long blonde hair during my travels. I didn’t see how any of this was going to help me get past the KGB agents, but decided to give it a shot just to see what would happen. They caught me....and then taunted me for having long hair.

It's time to see whether blondes really do have more fun!

Well he does. The guy's a zombie fan!

I restored back to the starting screen and this time went to the nudist beach, hoping something had changed since my last visit The woman that had been lying on the rock was gone, and in her place was an item of clothing. I’d found a bikini bottom to go with my bikini top, and the solution to the KGB agent puzzle became obvious. I had to dress like a woman and then walk straight past them! I tried getting changed right then and there, but the game wouldn’t let me. I suspected I would have to go back to the guest house to put the bikini on, so that’s where I headed. Thankfully, while the jungle scenes still took place, they were now significantly shorter, allowing me to access the restaurant, the guest house and the barber much quicker. I reached the guest house, went round the corner at the end of the room, and typed “put on bikini”. It worked, and a long haired, bikini wearing Larry came into view.

Dude looks like a lady!

Feeling like I’d solved the puzzle, I headed back to the beach and attempted to pass the KGB agents. Nope, they still recognised me, and when asked how they knew it was me, answered with “only in Russia do women have such flat chests”. A bit racist maybe, but with all the other stereotypes and offensive suggestions in the Leisure Suit Larry series, it’s hard to get riled up about it. So I somehow needed to increase my bust size to be able to get past the KGB agents. It was time to use my brain! My first thought was that maybe the barber could assist somehow. I paid him another visit and sat down in the chair once again. To my surprise, the barber did nothing about my lack of boobs, and instead set about waxing off every hair on my body (once again hilariously handled). I can only assume that being hairy would have been yet another thing that would cause the KGB agents to recognise me, even if I could gain a couple of cup sizes.

The wax people, the wax! Get your minds out of the gutter!

She must be caught up recording her way through some lengthy game.

Before leaving the barber, I thought I’d sit down one more time, just to see if there was anything else he could do for me. He made it clear that he’d done everything he could for me, which at least let me know that the solution to my problem would need to be found elsewhere. But where? There was definitely nothing else I could do at the barber, no way to get onto the nudist beach, and the restaurant was now closed to me due to my newly gained dodgy looks. Either I was dead ended, or the solution had to be either in the guest room, in the jungle, or...in my inventory! I couldn’t see anything obvious that would assist in filling out my bikini, so I just started trying things randomly. Interestingly, when I typed “put soap in bikini”, the game said something like “you can’t do that. At least not here.” I took this as suggesting this was the solution, but that I’d need to reattempt it in the guest room changing area.

After watching some of the French Open tennis this week, well...things have changed since 1988.

I made my way back to the guest room, but on the way I paid extra attention in the jungle scene to make sure the solution wasn’t hidden somewhere there. Perhaps I could find a coconut in the tree that could be split in half and used as breasts? Nope, I couldn’t find a coconut, but I did notice something I hadn’t previously...a flower. As Larry walked past it, I typed “get flower” and he picked it up! Still, surely a flower wasn’t going to help with my predicament, so I continued on to the guest house. I went to the changing area and typed “put soap in bikini”. The game responded with “it’s not yours to drop”, whatever that means. I typed “put soap in bikini top” and got “Nah. Better not!” Damn it! My intuition was wrong...again! I looked at my inventory again and couldn’t see anything else that was going to help. Surely the knife wouldn’t help, nor would the onklunk, the flower or the matches. Suddenly it dawned on me! I could stuff the bikini with money!

They might not miss it, but I sure did!

Feeling confident, I typed “put money in bikini” and to my disgust, received “Nah. Better Not!” instead of the positive response I desired. I figured I must have missed something in the restaurant and since that was now off limits to me, restored an earlier game to have a more thorough search with breast shapes in mind (that's fairly normal anyway). Nope, I couldn’t pick up the buns or the cheese, or anything else. Feeling a bit disgruntled, I turned the game off and prepared to go out to dinner with my wife. Just imagine how the following conversation might have gone down. We were sitting there having a nice romantic dinner in a posh restaurant when I suddenly said “I have a strange question for you. If you, as a woman, wanted to make your boobs look bigger temporarily, without any form of surgery, how might you go about it?” The shocked and confused look on her face was awesome, but after I explained my sad reasons for asking, she responded with “well, it’s a fairly standard procedure for women to pad out their bras with toilet paper.” Eureka! That’s it! There’s a toilet in the guest room! I must have to get some toilet paper from there!

Even Eva Longoria does it! Who knew?

I managed to get through the dinner and dessert without rushing due to my eagerness to go home and try out this new plan. As soon as I got home, I rushed to my computer, started up the game and tried typing “get toilet paper” in the bathroom. The smile left my face very quickly as once again, this request resulted in a negative. Sigh! I was defeated, and with nothing else to try, resigned to the fact I was going to have to put in another Request for Assistance. But, before I did it, I thought I better try stuffing every single item in my inventory into my bikini, no matter how ridiculous. While looking at my screenshots to see what I’d already tried, I noticed that I’d tried adding the soap to both “bikini” and “bikini top”, but that I’d only tried adding the money to the “bikini”. Not really thinking it would work, I typed “put money in bikini top”. It worked!!!!!!! I can’t begin to tell you how pissed I was about this. It’s just crazy ridiculous that a game that has so many deadly dead ends, and therefore always makes you think that you’ve missed something of importance earlier, could be so damn pedantic when it comes to parser commands. This is without a doubt the number one most frustrating thing about these early Sierra games. Anyway, my newly waxed bodystrolled past those agents while I waved my hair around and pouted my lips for good measure.

Finally fooled them! What's next?

Session Time: 2 hours 30 minutes

Total Time: 8 hours 00 minutes

Note Regarding Spoilers and Companion Assist Points: I've recently written a set of rules regarding spoilers and companion assist points. Please read it here before making any comments that could be considered a spoiler in any way. The short of it is that no points will be given for hints or spoilers given in advance of me requiring one. Please...try not to spoil any part of the game for me...unless I really obviously need the help...or I specifically request assistance. In this instance, I've not made any requests for assistance. Thanks!