Freebie Quest - Do You Want to Get a Freebie?

As the regular readers would know, our most magnificent sponsor Lars-Erik donates a game to whoever predicts the correct (or closest) score that I will give to each game I play through. Previously the prize he would donate was the next commercially available game on the play list. This was a great a idea, as it encouraged people to play along for the next game, but unfortunately it resulted in readers winning prizes that they already owned more often than not. We've now changed the prize rules so that the winner gets to choose from any of the next five commercially available games, with Lars-Erik only making a purchase once a selection has been made.

This is a physical representation of the virtual Adventure Gamer office right now. Yes, I'm a very good exaggerator!

I know what you're thinking. You're thinking "why are you telling us all this Tricky, and where are the freebies?"! Well, the outcome of our previous system is that there are quite a few unclaimed prizes. I'm now offering those prizes up to anybody that wants them. If you haven't played these classics, you really should! Now...who wants an absolutely free game? One game per reader obviously!

One copy of the Space Quest Collection 1 + 2 + 3 (from GOG)

One copy of Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (from Steam)

Two copies of Loom (from Steam)

Two copies of the Quest for Glory Collection (from GOG)

Game 43: The Secret of Monkey Island - Monkey See Monkey Do

Guybrush Threepwood Journal Entry 10: "I'm so close to Elaine now, I can feel it! After retrieving Herman's ingenious banana picker from the rather nonthreatening "Cannibals of Monkey Island", I've managed to gain entrance to the giant monkey head where I'm certain I'll find LeChuck's ghost pirate ship. I wouldn't have been able to do it without the help of my little monkey friend though, which only acts to remind me how useless my crew has turned out to be. Oh well...I've made it this far on my own! I'm not going to let anything stop me now!"

This appeared to be the last location I could get to on the island, but what would I find there?

I must apologise for the increased gaps between posts the last few weeks. I normally get a lot of writing done on weekends and an influx of 4 year old birthday parties (literally five in two weeks) has sucked up all of my blessed time. Rest assured that I’m as eager as ever to keep pushing ahead and am thoroughly enjoying taking my time with The Secret of Monkey Island. So...where was I? That’s right, my last post covered what I assumed would be the majority of Monkey Island, ending as I’d just found out what really happened to the crew of the Sea Monkey during its first trip to the island. From what I could tell, there was only one more location I could visit, since the northern part of the island appeared to be blocked off by a mountain range straight through the middle. I left the beach front and walked up to what was listed a “clearing” on the map. Once I arrived I found a sign that read “PRIVATE PROPERTY: Worshipping is permitted, but please DO NOT ENTER the Monkey Head. G.P. LeChuck.” A few more steps to the right of screen and I entered a very creepy part of the island. There were skulls and corpses on spikes, with the corpses rather humorously described as Shish keBob, Shish keJoe and Shish keLarry. Past this morbid path I uncovered a couple of totem poles in front of a fence, and behind that fence was the Monkey Head I’d heard so much about. It looked like I was going to have to figure out a way to firstly get past the fence and then secondly inside the head.

I'm certain there was at least one dad involved in the creation of this game. Only dads are allowed to tell jokes like this one.

There were carvings on the totem poles that read “Made by Red Skull” and “Made by Sharptooth”. This didn’t mean much to me, but perhaps it would be relevant later on. A bit of pixel hunting revealed that I could interact with one of the large noses on one of the poles, so I pulled it. To my dismay, while I was hanging onto the nose a gap would open up in the fence, but as soon as I let go it would close up. I looked through my inventory to see if I had anything I could hang off the nose, but found nothing. After a couple of minutes of fluffing about, it became obvious I was missing something I needed, so left the clearing. I wasn’t quite sure what I was supposed to do now, so revisiting all the island’s locations seemed a sensible thing to do. I hadn’t found a use for the spyglass yet, so I planned to try using it at each of the places I visited. This led to the discovery that I could use the spyglass when standing in front of Herman’s “primitive art”. While I’d discovered which position the log needed to be facing for the boulder to make contact with the banana tree by using trial and error, I now figured out that using the spyglass on this screen resulted in Guybrush announcing that he could “see that big banana tree on the beach” while directing it straight towards the player.” This was nice to know, but it didn’t help me now.

Who nose how I'm going to solve this puzzle?! Yes, I'm a dad, so I'm definitely allowed!

Ahem...um...that's not a banana tree!

I got a bit excited while revisiting the western part of the island, as I discovered there was a section of beach I could visit that I’d somehow missed the first time through. Sadly, the only thing I found there was a note reading: “Herman – Please return our key to the Monkey Head. – The Cannibals.” I already knew that Herman had the key, and the only way I was going to get it was to retrieve his banana picker from the cannibals. Finally I had some real success when I went back to the fort up on the volcano. I’d previously tried using the cannon, but this time I tried pushing it. It fell forward, and a cannon ball fell out of the nozzle! As it did so, Herman came home (he lives in the fort) and he wasn’t too impressed with the mess I’d made. “Oh, perfect. I’m gone five minutes and somebody comes here and dumps gunpowder all over the floor. Naturally I don’t think YOU had anything to do with it. I’m sure it’s just a coincidence that you came in here to prowl around right after some MYSTERIOUS person dirtied up my nice clean floor.” I tried to convince him that I saw a monkey leaving the area just as I arrived, but he wasn’t having any of it. Still, he wandered off again and let me pick up the cannon ball and some gunpowder that had also fallen out of the nozzle. Interestingly, examining the cannon ball revealed that it had three holes in it, making it a fine candidate to be used as a bowling ball at some point.

Yes, it is a very obvious beach. Don't ask me how I didn't find it earlier.

Naturally! I mean, pirates are renowned for their honesty and integrity right?

I had a think about where I might be able to use either the ball or the powder, and the dam I’d seen at the river fork came to mind. I went back there and used the gunpowder on the dam. I then used the flint on the cannon ball to light it and KABOOM!!!!!! The dam exploded and water came rushing out of the river and into the dry river bed behind me. Guybrush got caught up in the rush and taken for a ride all the way to the pond at the end of the river bed. This of course was where the corpse had been hanging from a tree, but the rush of water had brought him down! I didn’t appear to be able to do anything with the corpse, but I could pick up the rope he’d had in his hands before his accident. Eureka! I raced back to the crack and used the second piece of rope on the sturdy tree stump. I was finally able to climb all the way down the cliff face and collect the oars at the bottom of the ravine! I thought I might be able to walk along the ravine in either direction, but Guybrush refused: “It’s spooky, and I’m not going any further.”  I climbed back out and made my way back to the beach front where the rowboat was situated. Using the paddles on it gave me the ability to row the boat, and I was given a top down view to navigate my way around the island. I was now able to row around to the northern part of the island, which had been inaccessible to this point!!!

This seemed like a great position to blow up the dam! What could go wrong?

Well he won't be needing it will he? Plus it didn't exactly do him much good when he was alive!

And you're really going to enter a ghost ship on a river of lava to fight an undead pirate?!

Row row row your boat, gently down the...oh you get the idea.

I rowed the whole way around the island until I reached a beach towards the northern peak. I noticed while rowing that there was a village that I would now be able to visit, but first I checked out the note that was resting on the beach itself. “Cannibals – I’m not giving you bloodsuckers your key to the Monkey Head until you return my banana picker. H.T.” Nothing new there, so I made my way to what I figured had to be the cannibal’s village. This belief was strengthened when I found various bones on spikes and hanging on ropes around a collection of huts on arrival. I decided to walk through the village before investigating anything, and at the very end I found a bowl of fruit on the ground in front of a huge stone head. There were two bananas in the bowl, so I picked those up with the intention of feeding the monkey back to the south. I was unable to get any of the other fruit since it was all overripe. Guybrush refused my commands to enter the stone head since he figured it would be booby trapped, and since the door to the hut behind me was locked, I walked back towards the centre of the village. To my surprise there were three natives with strange masks on their heads waiting for me!!! The one with the red mask spoke to me: “Is that a banana in your pocket, or are you just glad to see us?” The grey masked cannibal then piped up: “You’ve got a lot of nerve stealing from the notorious Monkey Island cannibals!” Man, it seemed I was in some serious trouble here!

Why can't we all just learn to get along?

What better place for cannibals to hang out than part of the world completely ostracized from the rest!

Well I don't think the cannibals will miss them...or perhaps they will!

Actually it's two, but let's not tell anyone ok?

Guybrush questioned whether these guys really were cannibals, and their response had me laughing out loud. “Well, yes. Although, lately we’ve been trying to stay away from red meat. Only for health reasons. We’re still as vicious as ever. Especially with tourists who try to steal our stuff for souvenirs. Well, what do you have to say for yourself?” None of my dialogue options seemed likely to get me out of trouble, but I decided to threaten them, telling them that I was a mighty pirate. This concerned them, but not in the way I’d imagined. “That means his skin will be leathery and his meat tough and stringy. You are of no use to us, nutritionally speaking, but if you had some sort of offering for us, something that we could pass on to the Great Monkey, we might be persuaded to let you leave here uncooked.” I desperately looked through my inventory, but couldn’t find anything obvious to offer them. I randomly chose to give them the minutes I’d received back on Melee Island, and as expected they weren’t impressed. “Now what would the Great Monkey do with THAT? Obviously you have nothing for us. We might eat you, we might let you go. We’ll have to talk about it with the village nutritionist. Come. Let me show you our guest hut.” The three so called cannibals led me back to the hut that I’d recently found was locked, and put me inside. Things were not all bad though, as a large device that was clearly Herman’s banana picker was also in the hut!

Whoever came up with vegetarian cannibals is a legend!

Clearly they don't realise this is an adventure game!

Easier said than done. Look at the size of the thing!

There was also a note on the floor in the hut which read: “To the ghost pirate LeChuck: We must protest your ‘acquisition’ of our voodoo antiroot. We realize that it presents a hazard to you and your crew, but this is thievery. – The Monkey Island Cannibals.” The voodoo lady had already told me about this root, and one of the cutscenes had informed me that it was on LeChuck’s ghost pirate ship somewhere, but this memo let me know that he’d stolen it from the cannibals. I picked up Herman’s picker, not stopping to wonder where Guybrush might store something so large, and then tried to find a way out of my imprisonment. There were vines in the corners of the room, but interacting with them just caused Guybrush to say “I don’t think hanging myself is the answer”. Eventually I found a loose floor board, which I was able to remove. Unfortunately, when I climbed through it to freedom, I wasn’t able to take the banana picker with me as it was too big. I was going to have to get that out another way! I didn’t see exactly where Guybrush emerged from underground, but I watched him make his way to the village exit in the background while the cannibals continued to debate whether or not they should eat the pirate: Red  Cannibal: “I’d LOVE to eat the guy!” Grey Cannibal: “So let’s do it!” Red Cannibal: “But think of your arteries!” Grey Cannibal: “We ARE cannibals, for crying out loud!” Red Cannibal: “Yeah, but cannibals have to watch their saturated fats just like everyone else.” etc. etc.

Having a large object always makes fitting through tight openings a bit tough.

No-one ever considers cannibal's health situations!

I didn’t yet know whether there was anywhere else I could visit on the northern part of the island, but once I figured out I wasn’t, I decided to re-enter the village to explore all the other huts. The first one was “empty”. The second one was “VERY empty”. The third one was “the emptiest hut I’ve ever seen”. The fourth one? “I’ll bet if I looked up ‘empty’ in the dictionary, there’d be a picture of this hut!” I had a good giggle at all these descriptions, but in the end it meant coming back to the village had achieved nothing at all. I decided to row the boat back around the south part of the island to feed the two bananas I’d gained to the hungry monkey. I was thrilled that after he gobbled them down he was finally described as “happy”, but I wasn’t sure what good that would do me. He just sat there looking at me as though waiting for something to happen! However, shortly afterwards I noticed that the monkey was following me as I moved around the map! Aha!!! Perhaps the monkey could help me to get to the monkey head!!! I made my way back to the totem poles with my new friend in tow, and as soon as I showed the animal how I could open up the fence, he copied my motions and hung off the nose. Victory!!! I wasn’t sure how long he would stay there, so I quickly wandered through the newly formed opening and onward towards the head.

It's about bloody time!

OK, I forgive you! You've been the most useful character I've met so far!

Shortly afterwards I found myself standing in the midst of numerous creepy looking idols, all of which were standing erect in front of the huge monkey head. Trying to pick any of the large ones up failed, as they were apparently very heavy, but when I tried to pick up the one described as “wimpy little idol”, I found that I could. It had “Made by Lemonhead” written on the bottom of it, and I immediately made a connection to the cannibal with the head that resembled a lemon. It was at this point that I made another connection too! The two totems had been made by Red Skull and Sharptooth. Of course! They were the other two cannibals! I took a quick look at the gigantic monkey head, but knew I wasn’t going to be able to get in without the cotton bud key that Herman had in his possession. I had a feeling that returning the idol to the cannibals might give me the progress I needed so hopped back into the boat and rowed back around the village. When I was confronted by the cannibals, I gave them the wimpy little idol. Red Skull: “Hey, wow! This is impressive! LEMONHEAD!!! Take a look at this.” Lemonhead: “Ooh, that’s nice. Simple. Just like one of mine. And little. Like mine. And it says ‘Made by Lemonhead’, just like mine! We should take this to the Great Monkey.” These cannibals sure weren’t very smart, but at least they were grateful: “We are very grateful to you for this fine gift. If there’s ever anything you need on Monkey Island, just come and see us.

Creepy indeed!

I've just realized while writing that these are the first words Lemonhead speaks in the game.

There was one thing I wanted of course, and walking over to the hut where I’d previously been imprisoned revealed that the door was now wide open. I walked in and picked up Herman’s banana picker, then walked back out unopposed! I’d expected to have to go track Herman down on the south island, so was surprised to find him standing within the village walls, grumbling about how he still hadn’t got his precious picker back. I gave it to him. “I thought I’d never see this again! Here, you can take this key to the Monkey Head back to the natives.” I promised Herman that I would give the key back to the cannibals, and gave him my absolute guarantee that I wouldn’t try to use it myself. That’s exactly what I planned to do of course, so raced back to the monkey head, eager to find out what awaited me inside. Thankfully the monkey was still hanging from the nose, so I was able to wander straight up to the head again, where I tried using the “key” on the huge ear. In a truly awesome gaming moment, the key did indeed turn out to be a huge cotton bud, which Guybrush used to clean the monkey’s ear. As he did so, the mouth opened wide and the tongue rolled out in the form of a staircase! I was getting really close to LeChuck and his crew now, but also feeling a little concerned about what I might find in and around the underground lava sea. In situations like this, there's only one way to find out. I'm going in!!!

Well this is your lucky day buddy!

Pure adventure gaming gold!!!

I'm seriously a bit daunted about what's inside. At least I know I can't die in the game!

Session Time: 0 hours 45 minutes

Total Time: 7 hours 15 minutes

Note Regarding Spoilers and Companion Assist Points: I've written a set of rules regarding spoilers and companion assist points. Please read it here before making any comments that could be considered a spoiler in any way. The short of it is that no points will be given for hints or spoilers given in advance of me requiring one. Please...try not to spoil any part of the game for me...unless I really obviously need the help...or I specifically request assistance. In this instance, I've not made any requests for assistance. Thanks!

Game 43: The Secret of Monkey Island - Feeding the Monkey

Guybrush Threepwood Journal Entry 9: "It seems LeChuck and his undead crew are not the only ones to call Monkey Island home. I've met one of the crew members of the Sea Monkey's first voyage here, and it's Herman Toothrot, the man that made the voodoo soup on that first fateful journey. He's a strange guy, but he might just turn out to be useful. He's holds the key to the Monkey Head, within which I expect I will find LeChuck, but he won't give it to me unless I can retrieve his banana picker from the island's tribe of cannibals. Herman assures me that they're not dangerous, but given how limited their food supply is around here, I find that hard to believe. I could really do with the banana picker myself though. That monkey is really hungry!"

Part Three: Where The Trickster raves on about just how awesome this game is.

The Secret of Monkey Island is such a joy to play! I’ve put another half an hour or so into it, and I have to say that LucasArts got all the balances right. The puzzles are far from easy, yet they are solved through thoughtful logic and are rarely frustrating. The story is undoubtedly silly, but it’s so entertaining and funny that you never care. The graphics, sound and interface are fantastic while never drawing the player’s attention away from what they’re trying to do. Everything just feels...right, and so much happens every time I start the game up (which is why it's taking me so long to blog through it). I really want to get stuck back into it, but to do that I need to get this post done, so I’ll get on with it. When I started this latest session, I’d just landed (literally) on Monkey Island. While my head was stuck in the sand, a monkey ran around and made typical monkey sounds such as “eep” and “oop”. It quickly ran off, to be replaced by an odd looking pirate. He didn’t seem to notice the state I was in, and spoke to me as follows: “Hi! I’m Herman Toothrot! Don’t bother to say hello. I’ve only been waiting twenty years to talk to somebody civilized, I don’t mind.” When I didn’t respond he became discouraged, but then noticed that my pants were on fire after being fired out of the cannon. “By the way, you might want to think about putting out that fire. Someone could be hurt.” With that he ran off into the jungle, and control of Guybrush was giving back to me. It was time to explore the island, starting with the note that was nailed on the tree in my close proximity.

Um...a little help here!

I'd love to ask him why he's not wearing any pants, but that's a bit difficult right now.

“NOTICE OF PUBLIC MEETING: There will be a meeting Wednesday evening to discuss the recent occupation of the Sacred Monkey Head by the ghost pirate LeChuck, and subsequent impact on the environment and the tourist trade. All Monkey Island cannibals are encouraged to attend.” The note seemed to suggest that there were more inhabitants on the island, even if they were cannibals, so I had to wonder why Toothrot hadn’t had a conversation in two decades. I could only guess that these cannibals were not particularly “civilized”. Lying in the sand beneath the tree was a banana, and there were a heap more of them adorning the upper branches. I picked the piece of fruit up, but didn’t seem to be able to reach the rest. The other obvious thing on the screen was a rowboat just off the shore. Taking a look at it revealed that it had the words “Sea Monkey” on the side, so it was obviously the boat that Herman and his Captain had rowed to the shore all those years ago. Could the Captain also still be on the island somewhere? I tried to use the boat to see what would happen, only to be told that there was nothing to paddle it with. With the beachfront fully explored, I made my way into the jungle. I was shown a top down view of the southern part of the island, and a bit of pixel hunting revealed that I had the option of visiting either a monkey or a crack. I chose the monkey...

...I don't have a shadow! Aha! A flaw in the game!!! I must remember this moment.

Does anyone else look at this and see...um...never mind.

The monkey was moving quickly around the lower section of the island, so it was a little tricky to make contact with him. Once I did, I was taken to a screen where I could interact with it. It seemed obvious that I might be able to give a banana to it, so I did. The monkey quickly peeled it and ate it, but then continued to run around. Looking at it revealed that it still looked hungry. Did I need to go back and get more bananas? I couldn’t think of anything else to try, so I paid a visit to the crack to see what was there. I found myself standing at the top of a sheer cliff face, with a tree, a strong branch, and a sturdy stump situated at various heights. I figured I probably needed some type of rope to climb down, and if I could manage it, the oars to the boat were waiting at the bottom. I made my way back to the banana tree, but couldn’t find any way of getting more bananas, despite being informed that they looked ready to be picked. I walked back to the jungle, and moved my little Guybrush avatar up towards the north-western part of the screen. I reappeared on the western edge of the island, where a fort sat at the top of what once must have been a volcano. I made my way up there, and uncovered a heap of useful looking stuff!

What about me? I haven't eaten in days!

I'll try to not to make the same mistake Larry did in Larry III.

I'm glad I can't die in Monkey Island, because these vultures look threatening.

I'm stating upfront that I am NOT getting into that cannon!

Firstly, there was a piece of rope, which was exactly what I needed to attempt to climb down the cliff to get the oars. Secondly, there was yet another cannon, although this time I didn’t appear to be able to interact with it. Lastly, there was a spyglass lying on the ground, which I picked up along with the rope. The spyglass had a very helpful message written on it: “WARNING: Objects in spyglass may be farther away than they appear.” I left the fort, and despite being keen to go back to the crack with the rope, decided to explore more of the island. I travelled to the east and once again revealed more of the “map”. This section had a river fork that looked like it might travel through a mountain range, and a dry river bed that ran into a pond. I chose the river fork, and soon found myself standing at the edge of some water with a small bridge running over it. On the large rock right near me was a note, which in turn had a smaller rock holding it down. I looked firstly at the small rock and was given a surprising amount of information: “I’m no geologist, but judging by these conchoidal fractures, I’d say this is a piece of flint!” Well, isn’t Guybrush a big smartypants! Who knew?! I picked up the flint and read the note beneath: “To the ghost pirate LeChuck: We must ask you once again to curtail your nightly activities in the Sacred Monkey Head area. Decent people are trying to sleep. Kindly keep the noise level down. The Monkey Island Cannibals. P.S. We saw you taking that woman with the scarf down there!”

You don't say!

I've said it before, but I'll say it again. I love these overhead views!

There have been a few occasions where the game has automatically taken the next obvious action without waiting for me to command it. A nice touch!

These cannibals really weren’t impressed with LeChuck’s habits, and now I knew for sure that Elaine was somewhere here on the island! I crossed the bridge and then climbed the stairs leading up the mountain face on the other side. The stairs led to a platform where a huge rock took up most of the screen. Just in front of it was a strange looking structure with another note lying next to it. I read the note: “To the Monkey Island Cannibals: Please stop moving this. It is delicately balanced. -- Herman Toothrot” Moving my cursor over the structure, which seemed to be made up of nothing more than a  log and two rocks, revealed that it was supposed to be “primitive art”. I took a closer look, only to be told that it was in actuality exactly what it looked like: “It’s either an incisive representation of the futility of man, or it’s a log and a couple of rocks.” I tried pushing it, and found that I could move it from an eastern pointing direction right round to a western one. Pulling it moved it back in the other direction. I left it facing west, and then climbed up the stairs that I could see in the background. These stairs took me to a summit, from which I could see the Sea Monkey clearly in the distance. There was a pile of rocks towards the right of screen, and one fairly large one resting at the front edge of the cliff.

Herman was really onto something with this. A primitive Freudian masterpiece!

Yes of course. No doubt you're in great demand around here!

As I walked towards the rock, Herman Toothrot approached me for another strange conversation: “I never get tired of this view. Even if I HAVE been looking at it for twenty years now. Even if it is the ONLY view on the island.” Unlike last time I saw him, this time I was able to speak back. I chose to agree with him, telling him that it was indeed a very nice view. That was the extent of our discussion, as Herman told me he really needed to get going. I had no idea what might be so pressing for him to rush off to, but at least I was now able to see what could be done with the rocks. I pushed the rock sitting at the edge, and it tumbled off, apparently landing on the primitive art below. The rock must have landed on the end of the log, which caused the larger rock to be propelled into the air. It peeked just in front of my face before gravity kicked in and took it back to its original location. This caused the rock I’d just pushed off to be launched into the air at huge velocity! It travelled in the direction of the Sea Monkey, but fell well short of the beachfront and into the jungle. Hmmm, was I supposed to face the artwork in a particular direction before launching the rock? What would I try to hit? Eureka! The banana tree! I immediately knew that this was the way to get more bananas for the monkey!

For a moment I thought I was supposed to take out the Sea Monkey, but couldn't for the life of me figure out why I would want to.

I was able to replace the rock after each missed attempt by picking one up from the pile. When I went back down the stairs there was yet another note waiting for me. “Please remove this dangerous object. Lemonhead knocked a rock onto it from the cliff above and nearly injured someone who was putting up a swing on the banana tree on the south beach. – the Cannibals” If I hadn’t figured out what to do by now, I definitely would have after reading that note. After a bit of trial and error, I finally had the primitive art facing in the right direction, and my rock projectile smashed into the banana tree! While climbing back down to the river, I noticed there was one more thing I might be able to interact with down there. When I put my cursor over a large collection of rocks, I found that it was a dam. I tried pushing and pulling it, but nothing had any affect. I tried using the flint on it, for no particular reason, only to be told that “Flint works best with things made of steel”. Well that was good to know, but it obviously wasn’t going to help me with the dam. It would be rare for the game to let me interact with something that served no purpose, so I put the dam to memory and went back to the map view to continue my exploration. I followed the dry river bed to the pond, where a rather unsettling sight awaited me. A corpse was hanging from a tree!!!

What can I say? With great talent comes great awesomeness.

Damn!

Beautifully creepy!

As was becoming the norm by now, there was a note on the ground nearby. “To the Monkey Island Cannibals: I don’t mind you worshipping in front of the Sacred Monkey Idol which doubles as my home and secret base of operations, but could you please refrain from leaving messy sacrifices on my porch. Also, please DO NOT ENTER the Monkey Head. – G.P. LeChuck” Well this was getting interesting! There seemed to be a bit of a running battle between LeChuck, Herman Toothrot, and the Cannibals. Speaking of Toothrot, he entered the screen for another chin-wag: “This is an old friend of mine, the one I sailed here with. He’s lost weight. Never looked better.” I asked what happened to him, and was given an explanation that surely deserves a Darwin Award: “Oh, nasty accident. He was trying to put up a swing.” I asked Herman whether he was a castaway, and his response took his odd behaviour to a whole new level. “What do I look like, the caretaker?” He looked straight at the screen and continued: “Listen to this guy: Am I some kind of a castaway? Heh.” I was thankful that I had the opportunity to ask him who he was talking to, as it seemed to me that Herman might be breaking the fourth wall! “Why, the people watching, of course.” No further explanation was given or needed! Thankfully, the crazy guy seemed to be warming to me: “My name’s Toothrot. Herman Toothrot. I live here. Well, not RIGHT here. In the fort on the volcano.” My next question, which was simply whether he was stranded on the island, somehow offended Herman, as he left in a huff: “You think I stay here for my health? Hoo, boy...”

He actually calls himself Ghost Pirate LeChuck?

It's you I'm more concerned about!

Free to continue, I checked out the hanging corpse and found there was another coil of rope that it looked like I might be able to obtain. Unfortunately, Guybrush seemed unable to reach it, and since I couldn’t find anything else to do with it or the corpse, I left. It was possible that there was still more island to explore at this point, but I decided to see if I could solve a couple of puzzles that I’d already come across. I went back to the beachfront and found that my amazing effort had only knocked two bananas out of the tree. I picked them up, but instead of going straight to the monkey, I made my way to the crack and tried using the rope on the strong branch. It worked, and I was now able to climb down to the ledge where the sturdy stump was. I thought I might be able to reclaim the rope and use it again on the stump, but I didn’t seem to be able to. It seemed to me that I was going to need the other piece of rope that I’d seen with the corpse, so climbed back out for now. I made my way to the monkey and gave it another banana. It gobbled it down, but was still hungry. I gave it the other one, but the damn thing was still hungry! Was I supposed to keep feeding it or could I do something else now that I'd given it three bananas? Was feeding it helping my cause at all? Maybe I could go back to the mountain and launch another rock at the banana tree?!

Thankfully, Guybrush is much more sensible than Larry.

Oh come on! You greedy little shit!

I raced back to the summit and gave it a shot: “It came close, but I don’t think it’ll hit it again. That shot was one in a zillion!” Nope, launching more rocks at the tree wasn’t the answer. I hadn’t seen any other food on the island. There seemed nothing else to do but to continue my exploration of the island, so I made my way back down to ground level and tried going further north-east. I was thrilled to find that there was indeed another section that I could explore, and it was one containing a beach and a clearing. The only item of interest on the beach was a green bottle, which contained...that’s right... another note. “To: Herman Toothrot. From: Yammer, Hem, and Haw, attorney at law. Re: Suit against cannibal tribe over malicious tossing of your oars into a chasm. I think we have a case here. We can probably soak them for emotional distress and possibly punitive damages as well.” So that’s how the oars got down there! Before I could think on it any further, Herman paid me another visit. He seemed to recognise the ship that he'd sailed on all those years ago. “Look at that fabulous ship out there! Did you come in that? You’re braver than you look. Actually, it looks a lot like a ship I used to own.” I told him that I purchased it from a guy called Stan, and this really grabbed his attention: “Stan of Stan’s Used Ships? On Melee Island?” Finally, this little connection gave me the opportunity to question Herman about all sorts of things.

The competitor in me simply wouldn't give up that easily!

Methinks Monkey Island would make for a really nice holiday destination.

Hey, what the hell is that supposed to mean?!

When asked whether he was the only person on the island, Herman told me there was “a native tribe of hunter/gatherers – well, HEADhunter/gatherers, actually”. He went on to explain that they weren’t really dangerous though, unless you lend them something. “I lent my banana picker to them, and they never gave it back. As collateral they gave me this enormous cotton swab. It opens the big monkey head idol they worship.” Clearly I was going to need that cotton swab, so it seemed likely I would have to retrieve the picker for Herman to get my hands on it. The next thing I got out of Toothrot was the story behind the mysterious Sea Monkey: “Well, I sailed here with a friend of mine twenty years ago. We hoped to discover the Secret of Monkey Island. But my friend met with a horrifying and tragic accident, which claimed his life, and I couldn’t sail the ship back by myself. I trained a bunch of chimps to crew the ship and sail it back to Melee Island. They were supposed to get help and come back for me. Something must have happened.” The obvious question I had was why Herman didn’t go back to Melee island on the boat with the monkeys, but he responded that he couldn’t bear the thought of “WEEKS on a boat full of monkeys”. Fair enough I guess! I told him that I had come to Monkey Island to rescue someone, and he immediately assumed it was him. I explained that it was actually the Governor of Melee Island, who had been kidnapped by LeChuck, but that he was welcome to come back with us once she was rescued. Herman wandered away at this point, and it seemed a good time to save my game and get this post out. Now I get back to finding those non-dangerous cannibals. Wish me luck!

Yep, I finally got to ask Herman why he isn't wearing pants. Apparently he never has!

Session Time: 0 hours 30 minutes

Total Time: 6 hours 30 minutes

Note Regarding Spoilers and Companion Assist Points: I've written a set of rules regarding spoilers and companion assist points. Please read it here before making any comments that could be considered a spoiler in any way. The short of it is that no points will be given for hints or spoilers given in advance of me requiring one. Please...try not to spoil any part of the game for me...unless I really obviously need the help...or I specifically request assistance. In this instance, I've not made any requests for assistance. Thanks!