Game 33: Space Quest III - Hasta la Vista, Baby

Roger Wilco Journal Entry 2: "Can't I just have a simple life? I finally escaped that junk freighter by repairing a cool little spaceship and blowing my way out, but of course that wasn't the end of my dramas. I chose the most sensible option, being to land on the nearest planet and see if I could get some resources, only to find there was a murderous robot after me for not paying a few measly buckazoids. Lucky his brain didn't match his brawn, and I was able to destroy him before he could complete his mission. As if that little confrontation wasn't weird enough, now I've got a couple of guys held captive on Pestulon contacting me through a damn video game. Can't a guy just get some escape in without having to be a hero all the time? Sigh...I guess no-one else is gonna do it!"

This thing's like the Tardis! There's much more room inside than appears possible from the outside!

Well, my fears around the challenge offered by Space Quest III were unfounded, as would come as no surprise to all of you that ripped through this game in the last few days. I haven’t quite finished yet, but that’s only because I wanted to get this post out while the experience was still fresh. My last post finished with me finally gaining entrance to the space ship submerged in junk upon the garbage freighter. As soon as I did that I was given an over the shoulder view of the ship’s internal setup. There were only three things I could do inside, being exit, look at the ships status monitor, or hop into the cockpit. Looking at the monitor revealed the power was critically low as the auxiliary reactor was not on-line. I of course had a reactor in my possession, so I typed “use reactor” (5 points). “You drop the reactor into the hole. In attempting to reconnect the cables, you find that one is much too short.” I had some wire too, so I typed “use wire” (5 points). This was all that was needed to get the ship’s power unit back online, and I was given a view of all the ship’s sections along with a message telling me they were all “nominal”.

As it just so happens, one of the two items I picked up on this entire junk freighter is the exact reactor that fits this ship!

Landing gear nominal? Well, that's one less typical space genre drama to deal with!

With that all sorted, I hopped into the cockpit and looked at the computer screen. There I found eight menu options, which were 1. Engines, 2. Navigation System, 3. Takeoff, 4. Cruise, 5. Light Speed, 6. Attack Speed, 7. Radar and 8. Weapons System. I pressed 1 to turn the engines on, and heard a whirring sound as the ship prepared for launch. I turned the radar on and tried to use the navigation system, only to be told that it was “inoperable while not in flight”. I received the same message when I tried to view the weapons system, so I simply tried to takeoff instead. “The ship rises several meters, then stops abruptly. An alarm from the computer attracts your attention.” Looking at my monitor revealed that my ascent was halted due to an obstruction. I was a bit confused by what that obstruction might be until I realised it was the room’s ceiling! My memory told me that using my weapons system was the solution, and while I wasn’t yet very trusting of my memory, I gave it a shot anyway. I brought up the weapons system screen, where I could turn my front or back shields on or simply fire away. I pressed fire, and was given a view of the outside of the freighter as my weapons blew a hole through the side of it!

Can Roger withstand the temptation to push the red button?! The beautiful, shiny button! The jolly, candy-like button!

Apparently not!

The smile of victory on my face was quickly eradicated, when a message popped up saying: “Unfortunately, your inadequately protected ship is struck and subsequently destroyed in the bottle neck of metallic objects striving to pass through the same relatively small opening.” The solution of course was obvious, so I restored and went through the same process, this time putting my front shield on first. This worked, and I was free! I brought up my navigation system and ran a scan. A cursor passed across my surrounding space sectors, revealing locations of interest as it did so. I could visit Planet Ortega in sector 82, Planet Phleebhut in sector 39, or Monolith Burger Fast Food Dive in sector 62. I vaguely remembered each of them, but not enough to make a judgement on where I should go first. I therefore selected the first one (Ortega), and set my ship to light speed. I watched as my ship took off at light speed, but was then surprised to find another ship gradually appearing (it must have been using some sort of cloaking device) close to where mine had been! The close-up of a robot face appeared on the screen, and computer generated messages began appearing in the reflection of his shades. “Identity confirmed... Roger Wilco... Case OU812... Wilco wanted for vending machine fraud... Plaintiff: Gippazoid Novelty Co.... Judgement: TERMINATE”

Hmmm...unknown habitants...volcanic crater-strewn surface...seems safe to me!

A nice Van Halen reference within a Terminator reference

The Terminator’s ship took off at light speed in pursuit of my own, which didn’t bode well. I wasn’t particularly stressed though, as I clearly recalled how I took him out when I first played the game. I knew what to do when the time came, so I focussed on the task at hand. After a short trip, a message popped up on my screen, telling me that I was in orbit above the planet Ortega. I chose to land on the planet’s surface, and watched as my ship spiralled down towards the volcanic planet. Exiting the Aluminium Mallard, I soon realised that I’d made a very poor decision in coming to Ortega first! “My, my, this is one hot planet! Hopefully you’ll last more than a few minutes.” I didn’t, and watched as I fell to the ground and simply melted into nothingness! “You sizzle into oblivion. This planet wouldn’t be so bad if you could keep cool somehow.” Well at least now I knew that I needed some form of heat protection before coming back to Ortega! I restored my game, and this time chose to visit planet Phleebhut. After the same cut scene with the terminator setting off in pursuit, I quickly found myself departing my ship onto a purple landscape with green rock formations. There appeared to be a storm brewing, but thankfully I didn’t seem to have any issue with the environmental conditions.

This image reminded me of something. Project X on the Amiga?!

Now that's hot!

Another cut-scene interjected, with the terminator’s ship also landing down on the planet Phleebhut. I was given a close-up of the Arnold Schwarzenegger lookalike robot exiting his craft, then pressing a button on his belt that caused him to disappear. Footprints forming on the sand leading away from the ship clearly referred to the fact my pursuant was damn well invisible! I set out from my own craft, exploring the alien landscape and trying to avoid the various deadly creatures that inhabit the planet. While I was methodically mapping out the area, I was killed by a venomous scorpazoid, some pulsating pods that dropped down from a cave roof and ingested me, and some sort of huge serpent that ate me whole! It appeared for a moment that I was also going to be confronted by a Godzilla-like monster, as I could see one chomping away in the distance! As I got closer though, I realised it was merely the World o’ Wonders souvenir shop, built into the base of a huge Godzilla replica named Mog. My memory told me that there was a second entrance to the building around the left side, so I went to check before entering the shop proper. It was there, just as I remembered, but since I knew the time for its purpose had not yet arrived, went back and entered the front door.

Probably not as cut as Arnie

Alien hillbillies! Now that's scary!

Fester Blatz awaited me inside the World o’ Wonders, hoping to sell me a wide range of junk, collected from all over the planet. Blatz began making suggestions to me, uch as an Orat on a stick, an official Astro Chicken flight hat, and a nice pair of thermoweave underwear that will “keep your internal environment pleasant on even the sweatiest worlds.” The last of those items was exactly what I needed to survive the heat on Ortego, so I tried to buy them. “Everything here costs 25 buckazoids, and you don’t have that much!” I couldn’t remember doing it when I first played the game, but I thought I would try selling him my used up glowing gem. It seemed likely to work, since he had others like it sitting in the cabinet in front of him, and it was the only thing in my inventory at this point. Blatz was very pleased with the rock, and offered me 350 buckazoids! (2 points) That was more than I needed, so I purchased the Orat, the hat, and the underwear for 75 buckazoids (15 points). There seemed nothing else to do in the shop, so I left with my new goodies, ready for what I knew would be coming when I got outside.

Perhaps I could purchase one of your chins. You seem to have a few spare at the moment!

Blatz's poker face sucked!

The terminator appeared out of nowhere and grabbed hold of me before I had any chance to react. Disappointed with how easy I was to track down, he revealed the purpose of his mission: “Seems you forgot to pay for that Labionian terror beast mating call whistle. Now let’s see... with interest that comes to 400,000 buckazoids. I don’t think you’ve got that kind of cash on you hmm? No... I didn’t think so.” In typical villain style though, the terminator offered me a chance at escape, albeit an unlikely one. “I will count to ten real slow then I track you down. If you make it to your ship I forget I see you. But if I catch you again... I dust you like bundt cake.” I knew from past experience that trying to reach my ship would mean certain death, so I headed straight for the side entrance of World o’ Wonders instead. I guess it’s a sign of how memorable this scene was, since I recalled exactly when it would happen and how to deal with it. After ascending one of Mog’s legs in an elevator, I found myself in a machine room of sorts. There were some gears spinning round and a couple of heavy chains hanging from the ceiling.

 

Our hero will certainly require a new pair of pants after this confrontation

I think I'll just keep the elevator doors open on the top level. Problem solved!

The terminator came up the elevator after me and began his slow walk towards my position on the top floor. I waited until he was a few steps away from me, then typed “get chain”. Roger pushed one of the heavy chains into the robot, causing him to fall into the spinning gears, breaking him into many parts (35 points). Investigating the remains revealed that “the terminator’s invisibility belt has survived relatively intact”, so I picked it up (35 points). Blatz arrived on the scene, at first quite cranky that I’d ignored the signs telling people this section was closed for repairs. His mood lightened when he saw what I’d done though: “Oh! I see you’ve gotten rid of that grease swilling android. Never did like that terminator series.” I could see no further reason to stay on Phleebhut, so decided to take my leave. Once I was back on my ship, I put my new underwear on in preparation for visiting Ortega once again (10 points). However, once I accessed the monitor, I realised the closest joint to my current location was the Monolith Burger fast food dive. I set a course for it, dreading the fact that I would soon be required to play the horrible arcade game that is Astro Chicken!

It was almost too easy! Well, actually, it was too easy.

Ever wondered what the Trekkers ate between episodes? Now you know!

On arrival, I had a giggle at yet another Star Trek reference found in an adventure game, with the Starship Enterprise taking off from one of five entrances to Monolith (clearly a reference itself to McDonalds). My own ship docked, and I was soon walking amongst the numerous strange aliens lining up for greasy food and sugary drinks. I approached the counter and typed in “order food”. I had no recollection of what I should purchase from the menu, or indeed whether I should purchase anything, but the Monolith Fun Meal seemed an obvious choice. With any luck it would come with a surprise item that might be useful (10 points)! The geeky looking employee asked me whether I would like something to drink to go with my meal, and rather hilariously both options available to me were “Yes”! The same joke was applied to whether I wanted Space Spuds and Blattfruit Pie, and eventually I was able to hand over my seven buckazoids and sit down to eat. “OWWW!!! Hey, what’s this in my burger? Oh, it must be my Fun Meal prize! Hey, it’s a swell decoder ring!” (10 points) Awesome! To be honest, I don’t think I found the decoder ring when I first played the game, and had to resort to a walkthrough to decode the message when I came upon it.

Ha! I only just realised now that it's in the shape of a "monolith" burger

I didn't need audible voice to know what this little twerp would have sounded like

It was time to work my reflexes, so I walked up to the Astro Chicken arcade game and reacquainted myself with the controls. If you’ve played the game, you’ll know how frustrating this section is! The idea is a simple one though. All you have to do is continually land the chicken on the landing pad which is surrounded by mines. If the chicken lands with too much speed though, it will bounce onto the mines and explode! The player needs to press the up arrow to make the chicken flap its wings and therefore slow its descent, while also directing it left and right to make sure it lands on the pad. If it sounds easy, then that’s because I haven’t told you how unresponsive the controls are, and how stupendously difficult it is once the chicken is dropped from either of the screen’s top corners. Each time I successfully landed the chicken I received a few points, with the total maxing out at fifty (50 points). At some point the game decided that I’d landed enough chickens to be rewarded with a huge amount of encoded text on the screen. It was just as well, as my finger was cramping up from the exertion!

Astro Chicken? How can that be bad?!

 

Indeed!

I used my decoder ring, and a cipher was displayed at the bottom of the screen, setting me the task of decoding the message manually (although a lot of it can be figured out just by looking at it) (70 points). “Help us! We are being held captive by Scumsoft on the small moon of Pestulon. An inpenetrable force field surrounds the moon. It must first be deactivated. It’s origin is unknown to us. Scumsoft security is armed with jello pistols. We’re counting on you whoever you are.” The message was signed off by “Two Guys in Trouble”. So now I have a new motivation! Before I would consider visiting Pestulon though, it was now time to revisit Ortega. In case anyone is wondering, at this point my inventory contained an Orat on a Stick, some ThermoWeave Underwear, an Astro Chicken Flight Hat, a Monolith Decoder Ring, some Buckazoids, and an Invisibility Belt. If I didn’t know better, I’d figure the game was really about to take off (excuse the pun), but as plenty of readers have already stated, Space Quest III is a very short game. I’ve already got more than half the points on offer, and it’s very possible to next post title could end in Won! Well, I’m about to kick the Aluminium Mallard back into light speed mode. I hope to see you all at the destination!

A blatant attempt to add a few minutes onto a stupidly short game

It's interesting that travelling at light speed always has a light effect. Kinda silly when you think about it.

Session Time: 1 hours 15 minutes
Total Time: 2 hours 45 minutes

Note Regarding Spoilers and Companion Assist Points: I've written a set of rules regarding spoilers and companion assist points. Please read it here before making any comments that could be considered a spoiler in any way. The short of it is that no points will be given for hints or spoilers given in advance of me requiring one. Please...try not to spoil any part of the game for me...unless I really obviously need the help...or I specifically request assistance. In this instance, I've not made any requests for assistance. Thanks!