Nippon Safes Inc. - The Adventures of Mister Bean

By Torch

After tackling the problems of Doug Nuts (the smart) and Donna Fatale (the sexy), time has now come to meet Dino Fagioli. Yes, the stupid. And boy is he ever! But more on that later.

Dino’s chapter doesn’t start outside the prison like Doug and Donna’s, but rather in the office of the prison governor. Since Dino doesn’t have any prior criminal record, the governor wants to give him a second chance and offers to get him a job at the museum.

Looking for… odd… man…. get.. more.. trouble. Got it.

Ok, great. Dino is sent to the Museum by police car, so I don’t need to figure out how to hitchhike or get a cab like before. So far, so good.

Whoa, hold on a minute! Perhaps you’re getting tired of this whole Tyoko/Tioko inconsistency thing I’m nagging about all the time ( I am too ), but as you may remember, I’m keeping count of the occurrences of each spelling as I encounter them. I decided to skip the ones I had already seen in a previous chapter, though, so when in Donna’s chapter I see a road sign that says “TYOKO”, I don’t count it since I saw the same one in Doug’s chapter. But compare the above screenshot with the one below:

They’re not exactly making it easy for me.

The text is exactly the same except for the city name. What am I supposed to do here? Sigh… Ok, let’s just see how it turns out in the end. I’ll jot down one more for Tioko for now.

The museum director has work for me straight away.

Right away, sir. What’s a caveau, by the way?

I’m to unpack some new art pieces in the “caveau”, whatever that is. I definitely looks French, and Google translate tells me it’s a vault. Is that a word that’s commonly used in English…? Oh never mind. As if that’s the only language faux pas ( see, I can do that too ) that the game has committed. But before we start, I want to see if I can grab that sweet fire extinguisher that I couldn’t take when I was here with Donna. As luck would have it, I actually can. And behind it is some sort of panel that, when picked up, reveals some green lights or buttons. As I click them, some of them change to red, but nothing more happens.

When I was here with Donna, I made a note that I could “Look” at the sarcophaguses that were located on the lower level, but there were no descriptions or anything. Well, it seems they saved all that for Dino, since there is now a fun fact for each of them.

Maybe to show that he hadn’t been over-throne…? Hah.. hah… sorry

It’s a bit weird that Donna couldn’t get these, but then again it’s not the first time that content in one location is not available to all characters.

I check out the upstairs and discover that the “caveau”... you know, I’m just gonna call it the vault, is the door in the upper right corner. I thought that was a window overlooking the street, but I sort of see it now. The door is closed though. I play a bit more with the red/green buttons, and when all are red but one, the door opens.

Behind it is a room with a bunch of pedestals with crates on top of them. I guess the works of art are inside them.

Or maybe this IS the art. Who can tell?

I go over them all, picking up crates until all pieces are unpacked.

I liked the crates better

There are some body parts, including a heart, teeth, two heads, a mouth and a nose, a clock, a fish, a necklace, a statue with a spear, a can of bean soup, a working man statue and a plexiglass cube with “something” inside it. I guess anything can be classified as art as long as someone is willing to buy it. I can pick them all up, except the plexiglass thing. I can also pick up a thermometer hanging by the door, and a painting that looks a lot (as far as 90’s pixel graphics can look like anything) like the “Mona Lisa”, only it’s called “Gioconda”. A quick glance at Wikipedia tells me that “La Gioconda” is just another word for that same world famous painting. I thought that was supposed to be in the Louvre, but ok. Maybe it’s on loan. Either way Dino is not impressed.

Yes, what an amateur. He even forgot to paint her eyebrows

The art is unpacked and pocketed, but nothing more happens. Also the door apparently closed behind me, and I can’t get out. I have a ton of items in my inventory now, though, so there’s bound to be some that can be combined, right? I mean, Dr. Frankenstein would be envious of the amount of body parts I have available. But the interface won’t let me combine them at all. Like before, I select an item, the cursor changes to that, bring up the inventory again, and it’s gone. But I refuse to believe that none of these items can be combined in some way or other. There must be a trick to this…

Then I figure I could check the manual to see if I missed anything regarding this. And:

1. I’m glad I did
2. Boy, do I feel stupid

From the manual:

To use an object on another object you have to:

• select the first object
• move the pointer onto to the character
• hold down the right button of the mouse
• select the second object.

Holy crap on a cracker, Batman! Right-click on the character to combine… How did I not see this before? I guess I owe the game an apology for yelling at it earlier.

This makes it a lot easier to combine objects. Or at least TRY to combine objects. I suddenly have a lot of them.

The downside to picking up everything that isn’t bolted down

One semi-interesting fact here is that pretty much all the items can be examined by clicking them on Dino. This is something I’ve missed in the other chapters, where only a select few items came with a description. But enough stalling. I’ve got some combining to do.

Alas, I’m not able to build a person/statue or similar from all the body parts, but when using the statue with a spear on the can of bean soup, the can opens. I have no idea how old this can is, but Dino apparently has no qualms about eating the soup, and when he does…

If it a bird? If it a plane? No, it’f Fuperman!

I learned from a commenter in an earlier post that Fagioli means beans in Italian. Guess this is where that ties in. Apparently eating beans does to Dino whatever eating spinach does to Popeye. After a short animation sequence, I get a new action/item in my inventory. It looks like a boxing glove, and it can be used to break the plexiglass cube.

Why not just break the door, if you’re so strong?

Inside the cube is a lighter. Ok, so what am I supposed to do? Burn the art as well? I don’t foresee Dino keeping this job for a long time. Doesn’t seem like the lighter works, though. It’s apparently out of lighter fluid. But when I look at the thermometer, Dino exclaims that it’s alcohol based. Now that I can combine things at a whim, it’s easy to test out different theories, and yes. The thermometer can be used (read: broken) to fill the lighter. Alright, working lighter acquired. Now what? How does that help me get out of here, or at least attract the attention of the museum director? Maybe I could trigger a fire alarm or something, but I don’t see any smoke detectors. After some messing around a bit, I manage to set the Mona Lisa painting on fire. It doesn’t disappear though, it just keeps on burning in my inventory.

After a long time trying just about everything, I realize that I’ve been fooled by the interface again. In the ceiling are 3 tiny dots. When I hover over them with the mouse pointer, nothing shows, but if I select the burning painting first, and hover over them, they show up as “fire detectors”.... Dang it, I’m taking back my apology, game. I mean, I KNEW from the other chapters that this was an issue, but I guess I wanted to believe it had gotten better…

Anyway, the door opens, and the museum director comes in. He is not happy.

Well, maybe you shouldn’t have auto-locking vault doors

He wants to throw Dino out, but Dino begs him for another chance, so he doesn’t have to go back to prison. The director gives in and tells me to go “tidy up” the sarcophaguses, whatever that means.

I go back down and take a look at them. I notice I can pick them up, and Dino will move them to an empty spot.

Yeah, I’m sure by “tidy up” he meant moving them around

For lack of something better to do, I arrange them by size, tallest to shortest, but nothing happens. Not to be discouraged, I try reversing the order, and this time Dino seems happy with the results...

Tidy

...but he accidentally leans into one too heavily, triggering a domino effect.

Sarcophaguses. SarcophaGUSES!

This time there’s no mercy. Though I’m pretty sure Dino could take the director with both arms tied behind his back, he’s thrown out on the street and told never to return. In my defense, I don’t think I should take full responsibility for everything that happened, since I was in fact locked in the vault and had to do whatever I could to get out. As for the sarcophaguses…. The instructions COULD have been clearer.

Anyway, outside I meet the shady guy from Dino’s intro again. He wants another favor, and Dino sees no reason not to help.

Dino is, of course, right on top of things.

I’m not actually sure what becomes of this whole exchange, since after some back-and-forth in the same vein (Dino doesn’t understand what to do, Shady tries to explain again), it ends with Shady offering these words of wisdom.

Old jungle saying

Ok, so do I still have the assignment? He said he’d write down instructions, but none appeared in my inventory. Oh, whatever, I’ll check out the TV tower regardless.

I accidentally leave the screen through the south exit, and when I return, Shady is gone, but the taxi driver from Doug’s chapter is back. I also notice that I can use the intercom on the Mitsushita building. They won’t let me in without a “date” though, which I’m guessing is supposed to mean appointment.

When I speak to the cab driver, Dino wants to be taken to the TV tower, so he must still think the assignment is on. Not that that proves anything. I don’t have any money though, so the cabbie isn’t interested. After he turns me down, though, something happens that I didn’t understand at once. His car radio is on, and this message is heard.

Which ironically makes for good TV

I remember seeing this news on the TV in Doug’s apartment in the first chapter, so I already knew about it. At the time I thought maybe the guy was Dino, but I see now that I was wrong about that. What suddenly dawned upon me as I’m writing this is that this message is what tells me about the Kinza district, so I can buy a metro ticket to that destination. Since I’ve been there so many times already, I sort of forgot about that and didn’t think about it when I got the ticket. But first things first.

I go west to the highway, but there’s nothing to do there, so I go back, and this time the taxi driver’s gone, and our good friend Bill the dispenser is back, handing out flyers.

Where were you during Donna’s chapter, Bill? She had no idea there was an autumn sale

By clicking on him with no action selected, I get a flyer. This is repeatable until I have 6. They’re the same as Doug got, and for your convenience, here they are:

• “SENTO BATHS - Smell has its importance too”
• “Give a donation to the tennis elbow research fund”
• “HIROSHIMA BEANS WITH MUSHROOMS” Bonus for tasting free of charge
• “THE DEAD RAT - Just the haunt for really smart guys”
• “Due to open soon - KAIZEN-SUSHI RESTAURANT. Grand competition for the opening”
• “AUTUMN SALES! Come to the Tyoko department store.” 

Some good stuff there. I already have hunch that the free bean tasting might play out differently here than it did for Doug (nothing happened).

Due south is the newspaper seller, which we already know also sells metro tickets. I’m headed for Kinza station, and that ticket is available for purchase right away, thanks to the radio newscast. Buuuuut… I don’t have the usual 100 yen needed to buy it.

Ok, let’s go further south, to The Hot Sushi. Maybe I’ll meet Doctor WooKi, like the others. But no, he’s not there. And Max&Kos have no useful information, nor do they desire any more hot dogs.

I try talking to Honest Chan’s outside the bar, though, and he’s got an item that catches Dino’s eye.

You have a wrench you say? Only the game’s single most useful item?

I try trading everything I have, and Chan finally accepts my lighter for the wrench. Sucker! I fully expect this tool to solve at least 20% of the puzzles in this chapter by itself. Something’s a bit off, though, when I compare this “wrench”...

Exhibit A

...with the one from Doug’s chapter.

Exhibit B

Upon closer consideration, they don’t look the same at all. This one looks more like a crowbar or… some sort of pipe. I feel slightly disappointed, but maybe it will still prove useful. Guess I’ll have to reserve judgement until I see what it can do.

For now I still need money for the metro ticket. The department store is closed and the emperor’s residence is untargetable again, but there’s always the park. There’s bound to be something there. I whip out my map, and make sure to check all the screens.

In the middle of the park, the punks are back, with their fancy clothes and their two-tone hair.

Where? I don’t see them

Dino asks them for 100 yen, but like with Doug, they disrespectfully decline. I have the flyer with the ad for the “Dead rat - the haunt for smart people”, but this time I can’t use it. Guess it sort of makes sense that both Dino and Doug can’t both get and sell the same comic book.

The restaurant is open right away this time, though, so I enter and hand the bean tasting flyer to the chef, and...

Heeere I come to fave the day! No wait, that’f Mighty Moufe

Like before, I now have a “punch” action in my inventory. Hope it’s not on a timer, ‘cause I have no idea what to do with it yet.

Completing my scan of the park, I also find a coin in one of the fountains, and as luck would have it, it’s valued at 100 yen. Kinza district here I come!

A short stop at the ticket seller and a metro ride later, I arrive in Kinza, which is really the place I associate with Dino the most, from both the other chapters.

Here we see the... um…the... hey, why don’t YOU trying
coming up with new puns for the same environments over and over

The TV tower is accessible right away. I recognize the inside from Donna’s chapter, but the Karaoke machine is but a shadow of itself.

And here I felt a song coming on. Or maybe it was just the beans

When I try to open the door, Dino rips the doorknob right off. Guess those beans were the real deal. Not to worry, though, ‘cause I’ve got a… a… wrench… of sorts. Whatever it is, it does the job of opening the door. I initially tried to “punch” the door open, but that must be reserved for something else.

On the other side of the door, there must be a teleporter, since I arrive straight at the rooftop after going through. Ok, there was a staircase. Anyway, there’s a guy here, who must be the man who was threatening to jump.

Erm… his name is “Suicide”? I’d like a word with his parents

As for why he wants to commit suicide… well… He’s written 32768 episodes for a TV series called “Heart problems” in order to pitch it to the TV network, but they rejected it… Ok… other writers would perhaps start with just a couple of episodes, but what do I know... To cheer him up Dino tells him that he could just write a new series. And this seems to do the trick, for some reason.

I wonder what you can grow in a sexpot. Maybe a [CENSORED] or a tiny [REDACTED]

Back to having an optimistic outlook on life, the guy intends to return to his life, so Dino pats him on the back, and...

Man, those beans packed a punch. Literally

Uh… ok. So we just killed a guy. No biggie, right? Despite both TV and radio covering the news about the potential jumper, not to mention it happening on top of the TV station, there were no cameras looking at us, no police in the vicinity, no crowd on the ground pointing up and looking at us. Disbelief, consider yourself UN-suspended.

He left behind his hat, and isn’t likely to need it at this time, so what to do but pick it up? Also, suddenly a package lands right next to me, from out of nowhere. This must be what Shady wanted me to get for him. I pick it up and open it.

Yes, let’s go with that

Remember: Dino is a professional idiot. Don’t try this at home
 

I don’t know, but I bet if you flap your ears, you can fly now

After this, both the package and the powder are gone. I do consider reloading, but so far, the game hasn’t put me in any walking dead scenarios, so I take a chance and continue. As I get down to street level again, instead of the splattered corpse of Mr. Suicide, I find Donna outside the Sumo arena. I know what to expect from this encounter, and yes, it plays out exactly like before. Donna claims her mother is sick and wants Dino to win the Sumo match to get her the 50000 yen for an operation. Yeah, I know all about your “operation”, Donna. As we know, Dino agrees, Donna leaves, and I can now finally enter the arena.

“Suicide”, “sumo man”. You could at least pretend to care about the characters, game

I chat to the “sumo man”, who tells me to go talk to a “Mister Y” if I want to fight. He gives me an address that’s at the Subu district. You may remember that from Doug’s chapter (pachinko hall) or Donna’s (beauty salon). Ok, ok. I go back to the newspaper vendor to buy a ticket, but.. SURPRISE! I need yet another 100 yen...

Sigh… Haven’t I already bled this area dry money-wise? I check in with Max & Kos again, but no dice. And Dr. WooKi still hasn’t showed up. What’s up with that? I check all the areas and try selling stuff to both Chans, but also no dice…

I decide to call it quits for now and end the post here. I’m not calling for assistance yet, especially since I already did it once for this game, but at the moment I’m also not ruling it out. I guess I’ll let it simmer for a while, and see if I can figure something out during my next session.

For now, the stats from this session

Time played: 16h 30m

Tioko/Tyoko mentions (accumulated)
Tioko: 13 Tyoko: 11

Inventory: Fire extinguisher, 5 flyers, “wrench”, doorknob, Suicide guy’s hat/cap, punch action, Kinza ticket